My girls turned four at the end of Sept. They have been home with me all their lives, until late August.
I went back to work, they went to the preschool associated with the local university where I work. I picked it because of small class size, low teacher/student ratio, and the director's enthusiasm about working with twins.
Three months in we have daily heavy crying at drop-off (starts in the car as I turn on to the street where the school is; the girls do not interact with the other children much during the day; and their lead teacher (also the school's director) appears frustrated with the situation. I keep hearing "I've never had this before" from her, and also her feeling is that the girls' relationship with each other is about power and control, as opposed to bond.
In many other respects I love this school. The girls play school constantly when we are not there, talk about it very happily (and constantly), and sometimes when I come to pick them up they ask to stay and play longer - which we do.
Somehow there's something I'm looking for that I'm not getting, but since this is my first experience with a school I'm not sure if it's realistic.
For example, I ALWAYS arrive just before they turn on the lights at the end of nap time. Two days ago time got away from me and I got there a couple of minutes after they turned the lights on. The girls were crying and upset when I got there. The teacher's comment was that they were "traumatized" and that "the littlest things set them off." The next day when I arrived at the usual time her first comment to me was "well they won, you came on time!"
I think that encapsulates the perspective I disagree with. However, my perspective has generally been that this is, indeed, the perspective of schools and teachers, that if I am choosing to school my children then this is what I get.
But I'm wondering if it's possible that there would be a school that would interact differently with my children. In my rather extensive search for schools, this one seemed the mildest of all of the many many many in how they dealt with children. There are no time outs, no punitive consequences for anything really. It's just this view that what happens between teachers and/or parents and children (and in the case of my two, between the children) is about power and establishing power as a specific means to establishing independence in the child. I don't know. I expected it, that's really the basic reason I was going to homeschool. But life has changed and I love my work now and I love that my girls have a place to go that is just for them - I'm just not clear on how to handle this situation and if there might be hope for a better adjustment elsewhere, combined with a different view of relationships.
I'm also quite willing to see that since I expected a certain view from the school, that's what I'm seeing. I'm open to changing what I expect and looking for that too.
It's just that I REALLY didn't expect daily heavy crying and complete lack of interaction this far in. And I thought I had picked carefully to avoid the power struggle as establishment of authority type of place.
I'm rambling late at night. Thanks for any insights you might have. Overall this transition has been positive, and I am not interested in returning to what we did before August. I am interested in helping set up an environment where my girls will feel - well really I'd settle for content in the mornings and safe to interact or not through the day.
I went back to work, they went to the preschool associated with the local university where I work. I picked it because of small class size, low teacher/student ratio, and the director's enthusiasm about working with twins.
Three months in we have daily heavy crying at drop-off (starts in the car as I turn on to the street where the school is; the girls do not interact with the other children much during the day; and their lead teacher (also the school's director) appears frustrated with the situation. I keep hearing "I've never had this before" from her, and also her feeling is that the girls' relationship with each other is about power and control, as opposed to bond.
In many other respects I love this school. The girls play school constantly when we are not there, talk about it very happily (and constantly), and sometimes when I come to pick them up they ask to stay and play longer - which we do.
Somehow there's something I'm looking for that I'm not getting, but since this is my first experience with a school I'm not sure if it's realistic.
For example, I ALWAYS arrive just before they turn on the lights at the end of nap time. Two days ago time got away from me and I got there a couple of minutes after they turned the lights on. The girls were crying and upset when I got there. The teacher's comment was that they were "traumatized" and that "the littlest things set them off." The next day when I arrived at the usual time her first comment to me was "well they won, you came on time!"
I think that encapsulates the perspective I disagree with. However, my perspective has generally been that this is, indeed, the perspective of schools and teachers, that if I am choosing to school my children then this is what I get.
But I'm wondering if it's possible that there would be a school that would interact differently with my children. In my rather extensive search for schools, this one seemed the mildest of all of the many many many in how they dealt with children. There are no time outs, no punitive consequences for anything really. It's just this view that what happens between teachers and/or parents and children (and in the case of my two, between the children) is about power and establishing power as a specific means to establishing independence in the child. I don't know. I expected it, that's really the basic reason I was going to homeschool. But life has changed and I love my work now and I love that my girls have a place to go that is just for them - I'm just not clear on how to handle this situation and if there might be hope for a better adjustment elsewhere, combined with a different view of relationships.
I'm also quite willing to see that since I expected a certain view from the school, that's what I'm seeing. I'm open to changing what I expect and looking for that too.
It's just that I REALLY didn't expect daily heavy crying and complete lack of interaction this far in. And I thought I had picked carefully to avoid the power struggle as establishment of authority type of place.
I'm rambling late at night. Thanks for any insights you might have. Overall this transition has been positive, and I am not interested in returning to what we did before August. I am interested in helping set up an environment where my girls will feel - well really I'd settle for content in the mornings and safe to interact or not through the day.
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to you all.
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