Parent/teacher conference the same week as the attendance review board meeting.
I bring a tape recorder because, 1), I REALLY wish I had with the review board--they were like NAZIs! and 2), because I have tried to have discussions with this teacher about various things, like things my dd has been confused by and clearing up misunderstood instructions, and have found that this teacher is very, very difficult to confer with. She will not discuss, she will only pontificate. She denies any and ALL accusations, despite virtually ALL of the kids complaining to their parents about what she is saying to them (several variations of "you're dumb, you are not going to pass into the next grade"). I've sat in on the school day on several occasions to help my dd understand this teacher's harebrained instructions, and so dd could feel the support and full backing of her mother... she needed for me to see how this teacher IS, because the complaints, frankly, were so numerous and bizarre, I did wonder if dd was exaggerating. She wasn't.
I did not bring the recorder out right away at the PT conference, and hoped for the best. Dd's report was excellent, except for one area, and I wanted to discuss this area, as dd and I have discussed it at home, and I wanted to get on the same page with the teacher so as not to give my dd mixed messages. She did not want to discuss it, she did not care what I was concerned about, she would not hear me out AT ALL; she wanted to move on, and, she just barrelled on with "I don't want to talk about that, we just have fifteen minutes. She's got this grade and that grade, blah, blah," (it's all printed out clear and plain, the subjects and the grades which I can see at a glance are virtually all As and Bs. Teacher is not explaining anything, she is just reading what I can easily read myself.
So I want to have the CONFERENCE part of this session, and get clear on this grammar question because it is confusing to dd that I correct something she is doing, when she says the teacher wants it this way (which looks grammatically incorrect to me and therefore, "can't" be what the teacher wants) and she'll get in trouble if...
At this point, where the teacher is refusing to have a conference with me, but instead is forcefeeding me her monologue, I ask her if I can record our conversation, she says, "sure, but I want the principal here." Well, now I have her and the mamby-pamby principal on tape BOTH refusing to discuss this with me, refusing to hear me out, dodging the issue in every way, deliberating changing the subject to something completely different, literally responding to calm, intelligent questions with stupid, inane remarks punctuated with moronic exclamations as one might do with 2 or 3 year olds who one is trying to distract from whatever they're focused on.
"Oh, look how GOOD she is doing on this and this! Wow!" the principal says when I asked him a direct question about the "problem." I have said, "I do not need to talk about any of these grades, which I can read; I need to talk about the grammar confusion and the extremely hostile way this teacher is responding to my need to get clear on it." They both go on harping on tangents, and the principal trying to be Mr. Pollyanna, with "Oh, btw, your dd always has the BIGGEST smile on her face...," "OH, look, her overall score, the most important thing of ALL, is 80%! Wow! You get a free ice cream sundae!", like I'm a hmmff idiot. They interrupt, and she (the teacher) interrupts me to accuse me of interrupting her. It was an episode of Keystone Cops, absolutely mayhem.
I can hardly believe my ears. I listen to this tape tonight, and I am just SICKENED by the rude, stupid, useless, trouble-making approach of both of these supposed educators. I think how embarrassed they would be if they heard it, but I really wonder if either of them could see themselves.
BTW, all of the other parents of kids in this class are up in arms about the things their kids are telling them about her, and their own attempts at discussions with her. I have met SEVERAL other parents in various social situations who are LIVID, including at least two I know who have complained bitterly to the principal, to no avail, and in one case leading to my dd's best friend being yanked out of the school by her mom who just could not DEAL with this crazy lunatic teacher and mamby-pamby principal for another second, even though the family lives RIGHT across the street from the school and the mother volunteered virtually every day of her children's attendance there.
I ended the PT conference by begging the principal to get my dd out of the classroom; that I MUST be able to confer with my dd's teacher, and he has just HEARD how that is clearly IMPOSSIBLE. And he mamby-pambied the whole thing, as if it was a case of two children fighting over a tootsie roll.
I wish the parents of previous years had fought to get rid of this teacher. I do not want to transfer my dd from the school where she has made so many good friends, where she is familiar, etc. I am preparing to fight, obviously, since I am TAPING the PT conference, and I guess I am looking for some support. I wish my dd's best friend's mom had stayed, and I know that she is SAD that she had to leave that school, though her children are both so much happier... it's just tough on the mom, because she has to drive them now, it's all new kids and new parents, and it's because this teacher is WHACKO! The mom feels so let down, and betrayed. It's awful to be so in the right, and be the one who has to leave, you know? And I get that this is how she is feeling. Not to mention the kids... sure, they're happier with the school and the teachers, but, they had so many friends and familiar, convenient routines for ALL of their school lives so far. I'm so tired of this kind of sh*#!
It's so wonderful and rewarding and fantastic when the teachers and school staff are great... and so demoralizing when they are the opposite.
Thank goodness I have the weekend right now. And MDC to talk about it.
Thanks for listening.
VF
I bring a tape recorder because, 1), I REALLY wish I had with the review board--they were like NAZIs! and 2), because I have tried to have discussions with this teacher about various things, like things my dd has been confused by and clearing up misunderstood instructions, and have found that this teacher is very, very difficult to confer with. She will not discuss, she will only pontificate. She denies any and ALL accusations, despite virtually ALL of the kids complaining to their parents about what she is saying to them (several variations of "you're dumb, you are not going to pass into the next grade"). I've sat in on the school day on several occasions to help my dd understand this teacher's harebrained instructions, and so dd could feel the support and full backing of her mother... she needed for me to see how this teacher IS, because the complaints, frankly, were so numerous and bizarre, I did wonder if dd was exaggerating. She wasn't.
I did not bring the recorder out right away at the PT conference, and hoped for the best. Dd's report was excellent, except for one area, and I wanted to discuss this area, as dd and I have discussed it at home, and I wanted to get on the same page with the teacher so as not to give my dd mixed messages. She did not want to discuss it, she did not care what I was concerned about, she would not hear me out AT ALL; she wanted to move on, and, she just barrelled on with "I don't want to talk about that, we just have fifteen minutes. She's got this grade and that grade, blah, blah," (it's all printed out clear and plain, the subjects and the grades which I can see at a glance are virtually all As and Bs. Teacher is not explaining anything, she is just reading what I can easily read myself.
So I want to have the CONFERENCE part of this session, and get clear on this grammar question because it is confusing to dd that I correct something she is doing, when she says the teacher wants it this way (which looks grammatically incorrect to me and therefore, "can't" be what the teacher wants) and she'll get in trouble if...
At this point, where the teacher is refusing to have a conference with me, but instead is forcefeeding me her monologue, I ask her if I can record our conversation, she says, "sure, but I want the principal here." Well, now I have her and the mamby-pamby principal on tape BOTH refusing to discuss this with me, refusing to hear me out, dodging the issue in every way, deliberating changing the subject to something completely different, literally responding to calm, intelligent questions with stupid, inane remarks punctuated with moronic exclamations as one might do with 2 or 3 year olds who one is trying to distract from whatever they're focused on.
"Oh, look how GOOD she is doing on this and this! Wow!" the principal says when I asked him a direct question about the "problem." I have said, "I do not need to talk about any of these grades, which I can read; I need to talk about the grammar confusion and the extremely hostile way this teacher is responding to my need to get clear on it." They both go on harping on tangents, and the principal trying to be Mr. Pollyanna, with "Oh, btw, your dd always has the BIGGEST smile on her face...," "OH, look, her overall score, the most important thing of ALL, is 80%! Wow! You get a free ice cream sundae!", like I'm a hmmff idiot. They interrupt, and she (the teacher) interrupts me to accuse me of interrupting her. It was an episode of Keystone Cops, absolutely mayhem.
I can hardly believe my ears. I listen to this tape tonight, and I am just SICKENED by the rude, stupid, useless, trouble-making approach of both of these supposed educators. I think how embarrassed they would be if they heard it, but I really wonder if either of them could see themselves.
BTW, all of the other parents of kids in this class are up in arms about the things their kids are telling them about her, and their own attempts at discussions with her. I have met SEVERAL other parents in various social situations who are LIVID, including at least two I know who have complained bitterly to the principal, to no avail, and in one case leading to my dd's best friend being yanked out of the school by her mom who just could not DEAL with this crazy lunatic teacher and mamby-pamby principal for another second, even though the family lives RIGHT across the street from the school and the mother volunteered virtually every day of her children's attendance there.
I ended the PT conference by begging the principal to get my dd out of the classroom; that I MUST be able to confer with my dd's teacher, and he has just HEARD how that is clearly IMPOSSIBLE. And he mamby-pambied the whole thing, as if it was a case of two children fighting over a tootsie roll.
I wish the parents of previous years had fought to get rid of this teacher. I do not want to transfer my dd from the school where she has made so many good friends, where she is familiar, etc. I am preparing to fight, obviously, since I am TAPING the PT conference, and I guess I am looking for some support. I wish my dd's best friend's mom had stayed, and I know that she is SAD that she had to leave that school, though her children are both so much happier... it's just tough on the mom, because she has to drive them now, it's all new kids and new parents, and it's because this teacher is WHACKO! The mom feels so let down, and betrayed. It's awful to be so in the right, and be the one who has to leave, you know? And I get that this is how she is feeling. Not to mention the kids... sure, they're happier with the school and the teachers, but, they had so many friends and familiar, convenient routines for ALL of their school lives so far. I'm so tired of this kind of sh*#!
It's so wonderful and rewarding and fantastic when the teachers and school staff are great... and so demoralizing when they are the opposite.
Thank goodness I have the weekend right now. And MDC to talk about it.
Thanks for listening.
VF
:, you should change school or homeschool, even if it is only for the remainder of the year.
You are also modeling with your DD how to work with difficult people, which is a good thing.
I also point out when she does something I think is right.
