feeling anxious about baby gear. help!

[mosesface]

i was at a wedding shower a couple of weeks ago and there were lots of moms there who seemed very surprised that we haven't started collecting any baby stuff yet. the more people i talk to the more it feels like i am really behind in preparing for this baby.

we don't have anything at all. and while rationally i know that this kid could get by with just my boobs and a couple of towels, i'm starting to think that i need to start getting some things together.

i do have an online registry that i've been building slowly for the last couple of months, but i haven't shared it with anyone yet. i know that i will have at least one, probably two showers in january.

i guess my question is, what should dh and i be getting now (or soon) to prepare? how long does it take to off gas the car seat? the co-sleeper? a new crib mattress (if we get one)? are there other things that i will need time to prepare more than a month in advance?

i'm feeling a little frantic. is this "nesting" starting to kick in?

[kathywiehl]

If you are getting two showers I wouldn't buy anything yet! After your showers then decide what you still need and go from there. If your shower is really close to your due date you may want to get things you'll need for the first few weeks just in case the baby arrives early, like a carseat, good sling, diapers, and some clothes. All of that should get you through the first month and if you find you need something that you don't have you can always run to the store, kwim?

ETA- you don't need to worry about off gassing if you get used items, just be sure if you get a used carseat that it hasn't expired and that it came from someone you know who will be truthful in telling you the carseat's history.

[Dea]

I have to worry about off gassing baby stuff? Really?

Personally I think that as a society we buy waaaaay to much stuff for a baby. I've made a huge effort to stick to only what we will really need and add more stuff after the baby's born. The only think I see that we need is a carseat and clothes and perhaps a pad of some sort to use as a changing area on my dresser.

We're not buying a crib or a dresser for the baby. Or any other baby furniture besides the Amby.

And I'm going to be hyper vigilant about anything plastic, especially toys.

[Writerbird]

I have bought nothing. Since I'm going to have to move at some point in my third trimester, there's no point in setting up the nursery, and doing so would just depress me anyway.

A dear friend gave me a pile of baby clothes from her son - her MIL brings over heaps of baby clothes every visit, so most things are never even worn before the little guy is too big.

My mate was totally overwhelmed by our trip to register, there was just so much stuff. I told him we needed some thin little washcloths, some diapers, a carseat, and the stuff my friend gave me, and the rest could either wait or never get bought at all.

But if there is stuff you really want, I'll tell you what another friend told me - *everyone* will buy you baby clothes for your shower. Pick three outfits you really love and return the rest in order to buy something big you love AND need.

[flapjack]

OK. As Dea says, you need a car seat, a hat, some clothes and that's pretty much it. I haven't heard that cosleepers are popular shower presents, so it could be worth getting that, and the mattress, yourself. BUT one thing I would say is that it's worth making sure you have the stuff that you will need post-partum for yourself sooner rather than later. Breast pads, mama pads, all of this is stuff you're going to need.
AND it's nearly Xmas, which means that the post is going to be on a significant go-slow from mid-Dec through to New Year. If there's stuff on your registry that is mail-order only, I would get the registry shared sooner rather than later as well so that people have time to plan.
Make sense?

[the elyse]

if it makes you feel better, when dd was born the only things i had were some stuffed animals and a few outfits (that didn't fit for three months...). no car seat or anything. and her shower wasn't till a week after she was born! 2 showers will probably be overwhelming...but if you keep gift receipts you can exchange the less important things for the necessities if you need to.

i wanna see your registry!!! wait, i think i remember yours from the registry thread...

[mama_nym]

I agree that just the basics should do - but make sure you have the basics for YOU most of all. Also - whatever you buy before your showers, don't open or wash and keep the receipts. That way if you get the item for your shower it's easier to return the items YOU purchased and get your money back rather than getting a gift card (what many stores are giving when you return an item) to a store you might not need much from.

Personally I'd have the following on hand:
mama pads
nursing pads
nursing bras
diapers
wipes
hat
socks
a couple gowns and a footed sleeper for baby
sling (just so you can get the exact one you want!)

[AlpineMama]

True, we have stuff from our first, but we're not getting ANYTHING for this babe... Just don't need anything! Well, check that, we're trying to get some cloth diapers. And he/she can have DS's car seat because a friend gave us a bigger one for him. I think I might splurge on another Mei Tai...

If I had to do it all over again, I would get diaper stuff (including some lotions, wipes, that sort of thing), nursing stuff, two stretchy wraps, some towels and clothes, and a car seat. In reality we got considerably more, mostly from our baby shower (never used half of it, like the monitors? we also got a boatload of bottle feeding stuff, which I definitely didn't plan on using but eventually came in handy, sigh) and a crib and swing, a Moses basket, etc. But I didn't really make use of any of those until later on, and some things are just convenient or look good in the baby's room but they're not necessary. We have a whole nursery set up but we barely go in there, just basically to dress after bath time and playtime.

FWIW I'm not a fan of the store usually but Old Navy has THE best baby blankets and towels and washcloths and the like...

[smokeylo]

All we've bought are cloth diapers and books. We're having two showers, and after those I'll get the rest. I think most people think having a baby = buying a bunch of stuff. Plus it's not like you can NEVER go shopping AFTER the baby is born! There's plenty of time to collect the metric ton of baby related stuff.

[CalebsMama05]

Originally Posted by mosesface

i was at a wedding shower a couple of weeks ago and there were lots of moms there who seemed very surprised that we haven't started collecting any baby stuff yet. the more people i talk to the more it feels like i am really behind in preparing for this baby.

we don't have anything at all. and while rationally i know that this kid could get by with just my boobs and a couple of towels, i'm starting to think that i need to start getting some things together.

i do have an online registry that i've been building slowly for the last couple of months, but i haven't shared it with anyone yet. i know that i will have at least one, probably two showers in january.

i guess my question is, what should dh and i be getting now (or soon) to prepare? how long does it take to off gas the car seat? the co-sleeper? a new crib mattress (if we get one)? are there other things that i will need time to prepare more than a month in advance?

i'm feeling a little frantic. is this "nesting" starting to kick in?

my oldest was born march 8...on february 20 we went out and bought a pack'n'play and a car seat. we were given 4 outfits. about a week before he was born I had the brilliant idea that hey maybe i should buy some diapers!!! and we bought a changing table (which he and his brother have completely destroyed).

with my second son, I bought him a bunch of clothes in march and then 2 weeks before he was born I bought a car seat...

with Katie...so far she's got an outfit....LoL.

[NamastePlatypus]

I have never had a shower so I have no idea about that. I know that if I did have one chances are high that I would get everything I DON"T want or need. With e we overseas moved when he was 8 weeks so we didn't buy much since our stuff was gone two weeks later. I thought we HAD to have the cosleeper and it was great during the move but he ended up in our bed more often then not and it just became a big hamper. We got an amby for him when he was about 8 monthes ( SERIOUS sleep issues, but it was to late for him) and that is what we are keepin next to the bed this time. I am so glad that we never got so many things that I thought at the time were NEEDED ( a swing, bouncer, ect...) I would have never used them, a. because he was VERY HN and being on me was the only comfort ( a wrap is PRICELESS!) and b. because by the time we would have gotten them at the new house he was already at the weight limit and it would have been wasted! I know that I will NEVER buy the bucket seat stroller combo again. Just buy a covertiable that goes form 5 lbs to toddler. I never used the bucket out of the car and it is cheaper to get a good wrap/sling and good seat than that combo. If youare going to CD you can get prefolds for cheap! use snappies and a couple of covers and you are set. There are one size covers you can get to last you the long haul and pf's are cheap.

[flapjack]

Yeah. I have no major ethical objections to strollers, but a carseat/stroller combo is just a big waste of money: one small prang and that's it, the whole thing gone if your carseat is out of circulation and not replaceable Learnt THAT one the hard way...

[slgt]

Question about nursing bras - how do I know what size to get? I'd like to have some before the baby is born, but it sounds like I can count on increased breast size once my milk comes in. So how do I guess the right size?

[Angierae]

Clothes
Diapers
Blankets
Slings
Car Seat

Thats all we are digging out for this one. We got piles of stuff at our shower for our first! Some stuff that was useful when the baby was older: high chair, toys, thermometer. But thats about it. With our 2nd we didn't get anything except a new sling and some of her own clothes. I really like not having too much around!

slgt : I tried to buy nursing bras while pregnant, and NONE of them ever fit. My breasts get so big right after the birth and then slowly shrink for a year. It seems I kept changing bras every coupld of weeks for the first few months. I got a couple of sleeping bras from target (thin stretchy pull on bras that can GROW), and a couple of BIG tank tops with the shelf bra built in. Then at about 2 weeks PP I actually measured myself and bought a couple of "real" bras! Good luck!