Our situation is somewhat different because part of my daughter's physical issues arises from medical issues. She also has had a lot of anxiety though because she knows things are hard. She is 4.5 years old now.
I haven't and don't push her, but I do strongly encourage her. I signed her up for dance and gymnastics and she has greatly benefited from them. Now part of that is because of great teachers. The teachers have never pushed her, but always include her as much as she is willing. Both classes were also ones where parents had to be there with their child. With her gymnastics she didn't do any of the planned activities in class for months, but enjoyed the free play time. She would, however, come home and try the things at home. I asked her at times if she wanted to continue going to class and she always said "yes". After a year of going I have now put her in the next class and I sit out in the lobby. She can see me through the glass, but I'm not in there with her. She is doing great. She has the same teacher and I can see that sometimes she'll tell the teacher she doesn't want to do something and the teacher says "ok" and moves on, but she is much more willing to try things now. Her dance class has taken a very similar track.
On the playground and at home I have done something of a trick with her. At times if she tells me she needs help I tell her I'll be right there to help her after I finish such and such. Sometimes she waits for me and sometimes she gets tired of waiting and gives it a try herself.
I don't care if she develops great physical skills (it's frankly very doubtful she ever will), but I felt like her anxiety was keeping her from things she would enjoy so we can't just let her always look to us for help and just not do things.
She sees an occupational therapist since this summer and her OT has commented that she can really see how the dance and gymnastics have made a positive impact on C's physical skills. Her OT does minimal pushing as well; it's mostly playing.
Just as an additional thought I wanted to mention the idea of sensory and/or motor planning issues. Not at all trying to tell you that something is wrong with your daughter. We all have our areas of strengths and weaknesses. I just mention it because some of what you mention sounds similar to me and some of the ideas we've gotten from OT and reading books about sensory stuff might be helpful to you (frankly I think the ideas could be useful to everyone). If, for example, your daughter likes to swing do that first when you get to the playground and then let her go explore. See if she's more willing and able to try new things after that. Or spinning around or massage. All of those things give strong sensory input to the brain and help it to organize. That in turn can help the brain to motor plan better.'
Overall we play it by ear. We encourage her and try to get her to try things, but we also watch closely and if she is getting overwhelmed at all we step in. It's a balancing act, but (patting myself on the back a little here) it does seem to be working. She tries a lot more things now and her physical skills have increased a lot and her anxiety has decreased.
I haven't and don't push her, but I do strongly encourage her. I signed her up for dance and gymnastics and she has greatly benefited from them. Now part of that is because of great teachers. The teachers have never pushed her, but always include her as much as she is willing. Both classes were also ones where parents had to be there with their child. With her gymnastics she didn't do any of the planned activities in class for months, but enjoyed the free play time. She would, however, come home and try the things at home. I asked her at times if she wanted to continue going to class and she always said "yes". After a year of going I have now put her in the next class and I sit out in the lobby. She can see me through the glass, but I'm not in there with her. She is doing great. She has the same teacher and I can see that sometimes she'll tell the teacher she doesn't want to do something and the teacher says "ok" and moves on, but she is much more willing to try things now. Her dance class has taken a very similar track.
On the playground and at home I have done something of a trick with her. At times if she tells me she needs help I tell her I'll be right there to help her after I finish such and such. Sometimes she waits for me and sometimes she gets tired of waiting and gives it a try herself.
I don't care if she develops great physical skills (it's frankly very doubtful she ever will), but I felt like her anxiety was keeping her from things she would enjoy so we can't just let her always look to us for help and just not do things.
She sees an occupational therapist since this summer and her OT has commented that she can really see how the dance and gymnastics have made a positive impact on C's physical skills. Her OT does minimal pushing as well; it's mostly playing.
Just as an additional thought I wanted to mention the idea of sensory and/or motor planning issues. Not at all trying to tell you that something is wrong with your daughter. We all have our areas of strengths and weaknesses. I just mention it because some of what you mention sounds similar to me and some of the ideas we've gotten from OT and reading books about sensory stuff might be helpful to you (frankly I think the ideas could be useful to everyone). If, for example, your daughter likes to swing do that first when you get to the playground and then let her go explore. See if she's more willing and able to try new things after that. Or spinning around or massage. All of those things give strong sensory input to the brain and help it to organize. That in turn can help the brain to motor plan better.'
Overall we play it by ear. We encourage her and try to get her to try things, but we also watch closely and if she is getting overwhelmed at all we step in. It's a balancing act, but (patting myself on the back a little here) it does seem to be working. She tries a lot more things now and her physical skills have increased a lot and her anxiety has decreased.
