Physically, I feel so fantastic! I mean, I expect a little physical discomfort being this pregnant. It's hard to get up and down and I had to buy an SI loc belt from my chiropractor on Saturday to help with my hips. But, nothing unbearable at all. Most of the time I feel great!
It is no small feat for me to be this pregnant. I should be running through the streets blowing on a kazoo!
Intellectually, I want baby to take his full baking time and only come when he is good and ready. I know the dangers and risks of being impatient and hasty. I'm open to a full, normal pregnancy experience. I've been very critical of other moms' impatience at the end of their pregnancies.
And yet...I can't get into the bathtub or the birthtub for fear baby will flip breech again. Despite all my praying and letting go and breathing, I still feel fear every time he moves around. I dread my lovely midwife appointments for fear that she will discover he is breech and I don't even know it...even though dh and I have worked through all of these great contingency plans.
My dd2's doula is leaving town tomorrow for almost a week. I'm trying not to worry...but I'm worried. Between just normal developmental stuff and the turmoil and stress in our house of late, she has been so vulnerable and raw. Her doula is the only person she will accept care from besides me, dh and her big sister. Dd1 and her own doula can probably help a lot...but, then that takes away from dd1's experience and being able to get her own needs met.
...which has been the case for the last 3 years...and has truly taken a toll on her.
And, my parents arrive on Friday. Sigh.
Things really will work out, okay...Right? There really is a (thankfully) wiser, more loving, more knowing, larger *whatever* out there that has this all under control, right? I just have to get out of the way, right? I really need some reassurance...
It is no small feat for me to be this pregnant. I should be running through the streets blowing on a kazoo!
Intellectually, I want baby to take his full baking time and only come when he is good and ready. I know the dangers and risks of being impatient and hasty. I'm open to a full, normal pregnancy experience. I've been very critical of other moms' impatience at the end of their pregnancies.
And yet...I can't get into the bathtub or the birthtub for fear baby will flip breech again. Despite all my praying and letting go and breathing, I still feel fear every time he moves around. I dread my lovely midwife appointments for fear that she will discover he is breech and I don't even know it...even though dh and I have worked through all of these great contingency plans.
My dd2's doula is leaving town tomorrow for almost a week. I'm trying not to worry...but I'm worried. Between just normal developmental stuff and the turmoil and stress in our house of late, she has been so vulnerable and raw. Her doula is the only person she will accept care from besides me, dh and her big sister. Dd1 and her own doula can probably help a lot...but, then that takes away from dd1's experience and being able to get her own needs met.
...which has been the case for the last 3 years...and has truly taken a toll on her.And, my parents arrive on Friday. Sigh.
Things really will work out, okay...Right? There really is a (thankfully) wiser, more loving, more knowing, larger *whatever* out there that has this all under control, right? I just have to get out of the way, right? I really need some reassurance...
