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How to tell ds we are giving the cat away?  

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Ds is 4, and we knew last year he was severly allergic to cats. I feel like this is a ticking timebomb and we need the cat out of the house.

How do we do this? Shelter?

Without making ds feel like its "because of him" or "his fault?"

Its going to be really sad.
post #2 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
Ds is 4, and we knew last year he was severly allergic to cats. I feel like this is a ticking timebomb and we need the cat out of the house.

How do we do this? Shelter?

Without making ds feel like its "because of him" or "his fault?"

Its going to be really sad.
Poor DS.

Do you know anyone that could take the cat so DS could visit on occasion? Someone who he could check on the cat as he might need to? But not someone that you might see so frequently (like a grandparent) that it's not getting rid of the risk.

I think the best way to stop him from internalizing it is to tell him that the kitty can't live with you because she makes him sick. You'll need to stress that it's not his fault, since he cannot control that he has allergies (similar to explaining to a child that bedwetting, while it is something they are doing, is not something within their control and thus not their fault).

Basically my advice would to be let DS help with the home-finding process and stress that it's not his fault.

Hugs.
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 


I am so sad, we all really love her...And I dont want to find her a new home! I dont know of ANYONE who wants a cat, so I dont think I can make it so he can visit her.

One time he said he wanted to sell her on ebay so he could get a dog. LOL. But I know he loves her so so much.

This is going to be so hard.
post #4 of 18
my cousin's kids are allergic to cats, but not their cat. odd but true. they do just fine w/ their own animals.

maybe say that another little kid needed a kitty really bad, so can you share?
post #5 of 18
If you've explored all the options medically and ways to keep the house more cat dander free I would just be honest with your son. Just tell him the cat was making him sick and you did everything you could but it just wouldn't work. For you own sanity though I would make sure he goes to a no-kill shelter so you don't carry the guilt when you DS asks about the cat.
post #6 of 18
Warning, I am evangelical about Classical Homeopathy.

There are many alternatives to enhancing a child's health and allergies/asthma status. We use classical homeopathy and this has basically cured my husband's asthma. Dh was on benedryl, proventil every four hours and claritin and advair daily, due to allergy induced asthma. He is highly allergic to all air borne pollen: all tree, grass, weed, mold, dust, mites, cat dander, pollen, etc. He couldn't be outside for about 6-9 months of the year due to red, runny eyes and sneezing and wheezing and debilitating asthma.

Eliminating these allergens is important, especially in the bedroom. Obviously, some of them can't be eliminated and he would have asthma issues each spring and fall. However, since being on classical homeopathic remedy for four years he hasn't had any asthma in over three years. None. And he no longer takes the benedryl or proventil. Now he never has these issues and only uses Claritin sporadically and the Advair daily. And no more asthma!

We use large doses of vitamin C and Sambucol (for Kids or Adults) which has echinecea (some asthmatics have problems with echinecea). Hydration and humidification (with an aseptically clean humidifier) help to decrease mucus production during colds/flus. A key issue is to identify any dairy or soy allergies and eliminate them. Because these allergens combine to cause severe mucus production when the immune system is under assault of colds/flus.

I have not researched NAET or TAT; but I have heard that they have also been found to help allergies, and subsequent asthma.

You might try the new nasal wash X-clear. It only has water, xylitol, saline and grapefruit seed extract. The xylitol is a natural antibacterial, and the grapefruit seed extract is a natural anti-inflammatory.

I assume that you are keeping the windows and door to the bedroom closed to keep out allergens and consider a HEPA air filter. Eucyliptus helps to open the nasal passages too. Vit. C decreases runny noses, in large doses.


1. Decrease allergens, especially food allergens. (dairy, soy, wheat, eggs are the most common)

2. Keep bedroom allergen free with HEPA filter. (no pets, limited stuffed animals, door closed at all times, plastic cover on mattress, vacuum daily)

3. Vitamin C mega doses (I can't proscribe, of course) I give ds 1000mg, 3x day with first sniffles.

4. Sambucol for Kids (intensive dose, tsp 4x/da) caution with asthmatics some are allergic to echinecea.

5. Consider classical homeopathy, NAET, or TAT as alternative therapies. (Homeopathy cured my husband and friend's allergies/asthma and resolved many of our son's food intolerances.)

6. Avoid steroids like the plague.

7. (We are a totally non-vaccinating family, thumbs down to flu shots)

8. Humidifier, scrupulously clean in his room for sniffles. Clean daily.

9. Avoid antibiotics like the plague.

10. Avoid benedryl-dries mucus membranes

11. Avoid allergy shots


Oh, and dh was severely allergic to cats, we only had one outdoor cat and now we have 5 indoor cats which sleep on our bed!

AND, my friend was on serious drugs for migraines for years, until classical homeopathy. And another friend's daughter was scheduled for tubes to be inserted in her ears until classical homeopathy finally cured what 5 rounds of antibiotics couldn't. She was just 8 months old.

End of PSA for classical homeopathy.

Could you make the cat an "outdoor only" cat? We have one of those due to male territorial issues. He sleeps in the garage, but could have a cat house for cold weather.


HTH,
Pat
post #7 of 18
Havent read all the replies, but i just wanted to address one question in your post, which is should you take the cat to the shelter...please be aware that in many places, owner-surrendered cats are immediately euthanized, as they barely have enough room for cats that are strays. So, be sure to find out how your local shelter operates before doing that...you might have better luck with a rescue group that operates foster homes, but still....grown cats are *hard* to place, and again, they are full full full with strays they have saved from euthanasia. They might have sympathy on you, if you explain that its a *severe* allergy, and list all the steps you have taken to keep the cat in the home (to address the dander issue, etc)...because "child allergic" is right up there with "we're moving" and "had a new baby" for excuses for giving up pets, and they might not want to help unless they know you have tried everything. Its tough, sorry you have to make this decision.


Katherine
post #8 of 18
Thread Starter 
I wont take it to a kill shelter...in fact, I am leaning towards a newspaper ad...although its not like there is a shortage of "free cats" kwim? sigh...

I would like to make it work...really.

I am coming back to respond to pats post when I have a quiet minute, because I like alot of those ideas!!! (And I havent yet tried homeopathy...cause I cant afford it. But I could try it myself...)
post #9 of 18
I gave up sugar and refined grains, and my cat allergy is all gone.
post #10 of 18
I've been severely allergic to cats all my life, I've also had multiple cats all of my life. At first they had to stay out of my bedroom, and I couldn't really pet them or anything, but it seemed like I gradually got "immune" to them. Now (many, many years later) I can sleep with them, and cuddle them by my face and not have any watery eyes or sniffles. Other people's cats are an entirely different story...

So, I say keep the cat, keep it out of your son's sleeping space, and explain to him that if he wants to pet the cat, he should wash his hands after, and not touch his face. That is of course, providing he doesn't have an extremely severe allergy.
post #11 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fork View Post
keep it out of your son's sleeping space, .
After much thought about this, I realized that this is not an option.

1. He is 4, he wont let us close the bedroom door when he is falling asleep.
2. He gets out of bed sometime during the night and comes in our room most nights.
3. He opens the door all the time.

Its not a life or death allergy, and I thought that having the cat since I was pregnant would give him an immunity so I was shocked when it came up on a allergy test.

He does have asthma though, and all the different allergens compunded cause the attacks.

I dont know yet......still thinking about what to do. Still waiting to re-read paats post too. When there arent kiddos around me!!!!
post #12 of 18
I don't have much to say, but I just wanted to let you know that I used to work at a "no-kill" shelter but plenty of cats and dogs WERE euthanized behind closed doors. What the public doesn't know can't hurt them was the motto, and it made me so sick to my stomach that I quit and dropped out of school to become a veterinarian.
post #13 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by WuWei View Post
Warning, I am evangelical about Classical Homeopathy.

There are many alternatives to enhancing a child's health and allergies/asthma status. We use classical homeopathy and this has basically cured my husband's asthma. Dh was on benedryl, proventil every four hours and claritin and advair daily, due to allergy induced asthma. He is highly allergic to all air borne pollen: all tree, grass, weed, mold, dust, mites, cat dander, pollen, etc. He couldn't be outside for about 6-9 months of the year due to red, runny eyes and sneezing and wheezing and debilitating asthma.

Eliminating these allergens is important, especially in the bedroom. Obviously, some of them can't be eliminated and he would have asthma issues each spring and fall. However, since being on classical homeopathic remedy for four years he hasn't had any asthma in over three years. None. And he no longer takes the benedryl or proventil. Now he never has these issues and only uses Claritin sporadically and the Advair daily. And no more asthma!

We use large doses of vitamin C and Sambucol (for Kids or Adults) which has echinecea (some asthmatics have problems with echinecea). Hydration and humidification (with an aseptically clean humidifier) help to decrease mucus production during colds/flus. A key issue is to identify any dairy or soy allergies and eliminate them. Because these allergens combine to cause severe mucus production when the immune system is under assault of colds/flus.

I have not researched NAET or TAT; but I have heard that they have also been found to help allergies, and subsequent asthma.

You might try the new nasal wash X-clear. It only has water, xylitol, saline and grapefruit seed extract. The xylitol is a natural antibacterial, and the grapefruit seed extract is a natural anti-inflammatory.

I assume that you are keeping the windows and door to the bedroom closed to keep out allergens and consider a HEPA air filter. Eucyliptus helps to open the nasal passages too. Vit. C decreases runny noses, in large doses.


1. Decrease allergens, especially food allergens. (dairy, soy, wheat, eggs are the most common)

2. Keep bedroom allergen free with HEPA filter. (no pets, limited stuffed animals, door closed at all times, plastic cover on mattress, vacuum daily)

3. Vitamin C mega doses (I can't proscribe, of course) I give ds 1000mg, 3x day with first sniffles.

4. Sambucol for Kids (intensive dose, tsp 4x/da) caution with asthmatics some are allergic to echinecea.

5. Consider classical homeopathy, NAET, or TAT as alternative therapies. (Homeopathy cured my husband and friend's allergies/asthma and resolved many of our son's food intolerances.)

6. Avoid steroids like the plague.

7. (We are a totally non-vaccinating family, thumbs down to flu shots)

8. Humidifier, scrupulously clean in his room for sniffles. Clean daily.

9. Avoid antibiotics like the plague.

10. Avoid benedryl-dries mucus membranes

11. Avoid allergy shots


Oh, and dh was severely allergic to cats, we only had one outdoor cat and now we have 5 indoor cats which sleep on our bed!

AND, my friend was on serious drugs for migraines for years, until classical homeopathy. And another friend's daughter was scheduled for tubes to be inserted in her ears until classical homeopathy finally cured what 5 rounds of antibiotics couldn't. She was just 8 months old.

End of PSA for classical homeopathy.

Could you make the cat an "outdoor only" cat? We have one of those due to male territorial issues. He sleeps in the garage, but could have a cat house for cold weather.


HTH,
Pat
Ah! We have a family homeopath as our gp!
Excellent! If you have a homeopath in your area--do check them out and remember that homeopathy isn't universal--what works for one may not work for another--which is what our homeopath said--so be sure to seek them out for individual council.
Best of luck--maybe you can work this out with the cat so he/she doesn't lose his/her family either.
post #14 of 18
My naturopath says your body is like a glass and allergies are the water. Sometimes, your glass spilleth over and the body is unhappy. You don't have to remove all the water. You just have to remove enough to not spill anymore. So, why get rid of the cat when you could possibly do more to improve your health? Try some of what wuwei suggests and see if it works before getting rid of the cat.
post #15 of 18
oh, i feel for you. i had to get rid of my two kitties for the same reason. it breaks my heart.
post #16 of 18
If you want to keep the cat out of his room at night, you could lock it away in a different part of the house, instead of trying to keep your son's bedroom door closed. That is what we do.

If kitty must go, I would do a newspaper or freecycle ad, and really play up the cat's good qualities, what a good pet she is and why, but that due to severe allergies (and provide a bit of detail so it doesn't sound like BS) you can't keep her.

Good luck!
post #17 of 18
If you do decide to put an add in the paper, please charge a small fee. Lots of labs take free animals under the guise of taking them to a loving home and then do animal research with them.

I have a cousin who is allergic to cats, but her allergy has gone away with age. I always thought that was strange, but apparently it can happen.
post #18 of 18
If you've known for a year and still kept the cat, I have a hard time imagining severe allergies. I would definitely try some of the things mentioned above before giving up your pet.

When my pediatrician suggested I was allergic to cats as a child, my mom laughed and we both said too bad, we're not getting rid of them. We had one cat who used to make me stuffy/itchy if I petted him too much, but ultimately he and the others continued to sleep on my bed, and I lived to tell about it.

We had to rehome a cat because she was urinating all over the house and nothing we tried resolved the issue . . . I still feel guilty about it and would do anything possible to avoid repeating the situation.
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