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The Day My Mom Died by Cherie - Page 2  

post #21 of 36
6/13/08 at 3:48pm
Thread Starter 

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Mom!
Today is my mama’s first birthday since she moved on … I love you mom, happy birthday … just thinking of you today.. I am really glad you were born.
post #22 of 36
11/25/08 at 7:34pm
Thread Starter 
Well its been a year ... I found this story I had written in my purse today and read it - it made me cry I feel much better one year later ... I thought the anniversary would be much harder than it was. I am sure glad I had my mom - she was a pretty cool chick
post #23 of 36
11/26/08 at 12:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
Mom I know you were in absolute control of that entire day.
I remember the day my mom died so well. I totally feel the same way. I remember reading this and the blog about your mom. I had to look just now, but I remembered that it had something to do with the moon. It touched me. I am drawn to the moon, and my mom the water. Makes sense.
:
post #24 of 36
11/26/08 at 12:57am
to you. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I am sorry for your loss.
post #25 of 36
11/26/08 at 6:20pm
post #26 of 36
12/7/08 at 3:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
It truly felt like a birth experience ... crazy huh.. i never would have thought
Just found this thread, after having lost my dad recently due to heart failure, after a heart attack just a few months ago. My mom, sister and I were with him for his last 4 days. We also were commenting on how like a birth it was - a very unexpected realization. But there were so many parallels, it was very odd. Not least was that even if you think are prepared for how your life will be after, it is so much more than you expect. Another aspect was how nobody tells you the nitty gritty of how the actual death will go, so you are caught by surprise. Same with birth. And with my dad there was even a "transition" phase shortly before he passed. There were more parallels, but I can't list them all right now = still too raw.

Thank you so much for posting your update a few weeks ago. Everyone tells me that the first year is the hardest and that it gets easier. I just can't at this point fathom how I am going to get through it. (funeral was just a few days ago.)
post #27 of 36
12/7/08 at 8:54am
Cherie2,

You story touched my heart. Just beautiful.

Hugs to you and your family as you adjust to this loss.

Stephanie
post #28 of 36
12/7/08 at 9:44am
I have never seen your original post. Your story is beautiful and I thank you for sharing. Your post made me cry this am.

I have been very fortunate to share in a similar type passing with my grandmother and my godfather. Both peaceful, both with opportunity to allow life to come to a beautiful full circle.
These experiences give balance and knowledge that unlike the death of my husband, mother and brother not all death is tragic and full of pain.
I have an aunt who is very loved and dear to us. She is 97 and life is starting to slip rather quickly these last few months and we are all pretty sure inclusive of the Dr. that there will be repeat visits to the hospital in the very near future until one of the two organs decides they are too tired to continue. There is peace in being able to walk the last days and support another. Your words and your experience are a comforting reminder right now.

I am sorry of your recent loss of your father greenmansions.
post #29 of 36
12/8/08 at 5:44pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmansions View Post
Thank you so much for posting your update a few weeks ago. Everyone tells me that the first year is the hardest and that it gets easier. I just can't at this point fathom how I am going to get through it. (funeral was just a few days ago.)
I know everybody's process is different, but it really is getting easier for me. Everything in November was brining back memories for me so I thought about her a lot lot. The weather, the holidays the geese flying overhead ... but it was a good warm comforting feeling. I know the way I feel has a lot to do with how my mother lived and how I know she viewed the "other side" and also from the status of our relationship when she died. We had said all we needed to say and were in a really good place. I know how blessed I am for that.

I have a brother who I did not grow up with, he had 5 children. Mom didn't know them well but she did know them. A couple of weeks ago his oldest son died of an accidental overdose. I am so sad about that but I think it might have broken my mom's heart in two. I am glad she is not here for that. In fact she is probably over there somewhere receiving him and helping him transition and comforting my brother right now
post #30 of 36
12/9/08 at 2:01pm
Cherie,
Thanks for posting your OP. This is the kind of story that can really help people to see that while death may be difficult and sad, it is also part of life. When we hold death away from us and act like it can never touch our lives, it is always a shock. But when we understand that life is impermanent, to be savored while here, we can be truly present in our lives and for our loved ones when it comes time for them to die. The older I get, the more important this becomes to me. Have you considered doing hospice volunteering? You would be of wonderful comfort to dying people and their families. :
post #31 of 36
12/9/08 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
I know everybody's process is different, but it really is getting easier for me. Everything in November was brining back memories for me so I thought about her a lot lot. The weather, the holidays the geese flying overhead ... but it was a good warm comforting feeling. I know the way I feel has a lot to do with how my mother lived and how I know she viewed the "other side" and also from the status of our relationship when she died. We had said all we needed to say and were in a really good place. I know how blessed I am for that.

I have a brother who I did not grow up with, he had 5 children. Mom didn't know them well but she did know them. A couple of weeks ago his oldest son died of an accidental overdose. I am so sad about that but I think it might have broken my mom's heart in two. I am glad she is not here for that. In fact she is probably over there somewhere receiving him and helping him transition and comforting my brother right now
Sorry to hear of your nephew's passing. What a tragedy.

Yes, I am very fortunate to have had a wonderful relationship with my dad, and also to have been there for his passing. He was so calm and brave. I just want to get to where I can think of him with the warm feeling you describe, rather than with tears.

I agree with the pp who suggests you work for hospice if you have the interest/will. More people with your positive outlook are needed in that field. (We did not have a good hospice experience, unfortunately.)
post #32 of 36
12/9/08 at 5:48pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by laoxinat View Post
Have you considered doing hospice volunteering? You would be of wonderful comfort to dying people and their families. :
lol, its funny you say that, while at the hospital when my aunt was dying this summer (yes it has been quite the year for me) there was a girl who's mom was dying. she was very young and had been up until recently estranged from her mother. I was trying to comfort her and share my experiences and feelings with her and she asked me "are you on prozac?" lol
post #33 of 36
12/9/08 at 5:53pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmansions View Post
Sorry to hear of your nephew's passing. What a tragedy.
thank you, i really cant even wrap my head around it yet... it is a different story when somebody dies so young... its just so stupid ... my mom could have overdosed (yes she had her issues back in the day) and that was one of the things i was so grateful for, i think it would have hurt so much more if that had happened or if she had killed herself - this way it was just natural and seemed more a normal part of life ... i just don't even know how my brother can function ... i cant even try to think about it
post #34 of 36
12/9/08 at 9:29pm
I had to recently go through something similar, we had to have my mom removed from a ventilator and we sat with her while she passed. thanks for sharing your story.
post #35 of 36
12/10/08 at 4:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by vloky View Post
I had to recently go through something similar, we had to have my mom removed from a ventilator and we sat with her while she passed. thanks for sharing your story.
post #36 of 36
12/10/08 at 10:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
lol, its funny you say that, while at the hospital when my aunt was dying this summer (yes it has been quite the year for me) there was a girl who's mom was dying. she was very young and had been up until recently estranged from her mother. I was trying to comfort her and share my experiences and feelings with her and she asked me "are you on prozac?" lol
LOL I get that look a lot, though no ones ever said it. Hilare!!
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