Originally Posted by Kat_shoshin
I mostly wanted to see if learning the alternative to being rocked and nursed to sleep would make him appreciate it more when I freed him and sooked him. It did briefly, then I had to go to my old standby of watching TV with him in my arms until he is asleep. This is going to get old REALLY fast people - I don't want to cry it out - really I don't, but he seems determined to cry no matter what I do.
You know, when my daughter was younger (and still now on occasion), sometimes she just wanted a silent witness to her misery. If I rocked her, she cried. If I tried to cradle her, she would fight and scream. Tried to get her to nurse, she cried. Tried to sing or otherwise coo her to sleep, she cried. Tried to wear her on my back, she'd try to lean back and out of the carrier. Tried to sleep with her in our bed, she'd flail around, head butt me, and cry. Put her down in the crib to walk away for a moment of sanity? She'd SCREAM hysterically. So, after I recomposed myself, I would just sit in the rocker with her on my lap on a Boppy, and rock silently while she cried until she would calm down on her own and fall asleep.
SO emotionally draining. But SO her personality. It used to happen 3, 4 nights a week.
: Now it happens a couple times a month, but I know the drill so I don't try to "help" anymore - I'm just there, present for her the way she needs me to be, and that's the fastest, most humane way to get her to sleep, to let her get it all out and cry on my lap. I NEVER in a million years thought that I would be okay with it, but anything else I've tried when she's in that particular place only makes things worse.
re: perfection and GD parenting, I think it's also important to remember that posters here offer what they think would be the best response in any given situation, the response they'd like to think they would give...not necessarily the response they *would* give in a similarly stressful situation. Sometimes the responses I give are the ones I give myself in similar situations. Sometimes I don't follow my own advice.
SO I regroup, apologize, and start over again. I enojy reading about the ideal responses, because it helps me plan for next time for myself. I don't feel badly about fallign short of my ideals, I just keep them as ideals to strive for and work towards, not a bar to measure my own worth as a parent. I know that even on my worst days, my kids are being parented more gently than many children so I try to not sweat the times that I fall short of my ideals. The fact that I am always trying to be gentle, always striving to be respectful is, to me, a very important part.
AND...perfection is highly overrated. I have n odesire to be perfect, and never want my kids to think I expect them to be perfect. It's the imperfections that make us interesting, and *human*.