I've decided to do a homebirth - need a little encouragement

[GracesMama]

I'm so excited, I have to tell someone, we decided to have a homebirth for our baby due in February!!!! We meet with the midwife for our first prenatal visit tomorrow.

So here's why I need encouragement...it seems like the few people I've told have been pretty negative. I've heard comments like, "What if something really bad happens? You'll have to live with that memory in your home forever" and "Think about your husband. Is this really fair to him?"

I guess I'm asking you ladies to share your enthusiasm since all my close friends will freak out when I tell them...I know, I know, I need to find supportive friends...I'm starting to make some connections with other moms who've homebirthed in my LLL group, so that's a start....

Thank you

[Nursingnaturalmom]

I will never forget the first time we told our parents (both my Mom and his parents) that we were going to have a homebirth, when our 3rd baby was due. My Mom didn't say a whole lot then, but later on in the pregnancy, when I asked her for some old towels she had for the birth, she wouldn't give them to me because she "wasn't going to condone something that was so wrong". WHAT??? I said, oh Okay, thats your choice.
His parents told us we were brave and "it figures" was somewhere in there.

Stay strong and stay excited. There is risk with birth no matter where it happens. However, giving birth somewhere you are familiar and comfortable, with people who will support you and love you and with a caregiver that you trust is much more likely to have a great outcome, then in other places. Give them time to come around. They will.

Congrats on your decision!! Our first homebirth was a Feb. baby too. She was born on my birthday

Happy Birthing,
Chandi

[georgannemomof6]

YAY! you are going to LOVE laboring at home, being in charge, and not having to starve to death while sucking on ice chips!!!

and don't let other people's ignorance about the safety of birth get you down, they just don't know any better, and unfortunately, Ins companies, pharmaceutical companies, hospitals and "big businesses" spend billions of dollars feeding that fear and perpetuating those myths!

I am so jazzed for you! I try so hard to enlighten as many preggy women as I can!!


Please update, when you've had your appointment!!

[cornpicker]

My homebirth was such an incredible experience. I wish you the same!

Know that their fears and negativity are based on ignorance. And you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to.

Good idea to reach out and get support. Good luck!

[Peppamint]

Birthing at home is just AWESOME. Just think, when you are done with labor, you'll snuggle up in your own home with your baby...

I've done it both ways, and HB is just so much... more.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Well, my husband greatly prefers homebirth, as do most husbands once they've experienced it. I don't see how homebirth is unfair to him. Homebirth rocks, just ignore them. You're SAFER there statistically. Tell them that.

[Mommy2Austin]

Other than giving them all the abundance of info on the safety of homebirth, then you just have to ignore their negativity. Everyone thinks we're crazy for homebirthing, but I feel like there is no other choice!

-I feel comfortable walking around my house in the nude
-I'll get to go to bed in my bed instead of getting stuck on that awful-way-too-high break away bed
- My son won't be wisked away from me while they do God-knows what kinds of things to him

And thats only a few things As long as your DH supports the decision and you are comfortable with it than no one elses opinion matters!

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

Your DH can eat his own food, use the telephone, take a nap, watch TV, take a shower, change his clothes...whatEVER he wants to do. I always feel sorry for dh in the hospital - for ds1's 22 hr labor, he ate once, I think, never slept, took 2 10 minute breathers...at least i had hormones to run on! Homebirth is the best for them, definitely!

Um, I kind of didn't tell my close friends about dd's planned HB - but that's because I knew they would not just tell me it was a bad idea, but worry, a lot, and I didn't want to lay that on them.

[mom2tillie]

Is that fair to your husband? Who said that? I wouldn't indulge them with an answer but as for my hubby...he got totally psyched up about hb once he found out that he could catch - try that in a hospital!

Congratulations on your choice... I am also due in Feb. Can't wait to exchange birth stories!

-Iris

[erin_brycesmom]

Did they mention why they thought it was unfair to your husband? I've never heard that one before. I've heard the other one and I just respond by saying that statistically something bad is more likely to happen at the hospital and that it is a memory I'll have to live with regardless of where I birth...I just choose to lesson the risk factors.

[Beppie]

Like what others have said, my dh got really excited about homebirth when I reminded him that this way, he could go get some sleep in the other room if he wanted to that night (our first was born in a hospital --- dh was SO uncomfortable on that stupid hospital chair all night long!), or he could go downstairs and eat some of his favorite food (not hospital food!), or watch TV afterwards, etc.

And the biggest relief of all, not having to leave our cozy house in the middle of December (we're in chilly Minnesota) to go to the hospital! We get to stay relaxed in our home, and call the midwife to come to us. I'm SO PSYCHED for our homebirth next month!

As for other people, they just don't know the statistics. But you don't have to tell them, either. Don't get turned off by all the negative comments. This society/culture is just so clueless most of the time. Try to stay positive!

[Danielle13]

Originally Posted by Nursingnaturalmom

I will never forget the first time we told our parents (both my Mom and his parents) that we were going to have a homebirth, when our 3rd baby was due. My Mom didn't say a whole lot then, but later on in the pregnancy, when I asked her for some old towels she had for the birth, she wouldn't give them to me because she "wasn't going to condone something that was so wrong". WHAT??? I said, oh Okay, thats your choice.
His parents told us we were brave and "it figures" was somewhere in there.

so funny!! that sounds so much like my experience!! but my home birth was beautiful. it was perfect. birth isnt like in the movies, if something is going to go wrong you can usually tell in time to transport. just remember that your baby wont come out if you dont feel safe. anyways, IMO birth is totally natural and normal and a lot of complications are actually from intervening with it

[GracesMama]

Ladies,
Thank you for all your support and encouragement.

I had my first prenatal visit tonight. What an amazing experience... a two hour visit in our home with my husband and 2 1/2 year old DD there. I've never experienced any thing like it when seeing a doctor. After tonight, I feel even more confident about our decision.

Thanks!

[georgannemomof6]

Originally Posted by GracesMama

Ladies,
Thank you for all your support and encouragement.

I had my first prenatal visit tonight. What an amazing experience... a two hour visit in our home with my husband and 2 1/2 year old DD there. I've never experienced any thing like it when seeing a doctor. After tonight, I feel even more confident about our decision.

Thanks!

YIPEEEE! What a huge diffence, from the mediacl model of care, eh??

(((big hugs)))

[Indysay]

Hi there... just decided to do a home birth at 38 weeks! Yowza!! I am feeling the same way you are, and have only told one person in my family. I will not tell others because I don't want them worrying unnecessarily. I'm excited for you for making this change, and am curious to know how it goes. Our baby is due any day and I'm so happy we're going with the home option. I think we stand a much better chance of having a VBAC this way.

[rmzbm]

Congrats!!

Don't listen to fear, listen to facts. The FACT is that homebirth is just as safe (safer even) than hospital birth.
Surround yourself with support, read here alot. I would tell people even to be respective about your decision or keep it to themselves.

Can't wait to read your birth story!!

[pixiedust]

I was very lucky and didn't have very man neg. comments.. I'm sure there were plenty said where I couldn't hear though LOL. But, I was prepared for the comments because people are just misinformed about homebirth.. shoot 4 years ago I would have been one of the naysayers.

However.. coming from someone who just had their first homebirth I'll just say stick to your decision! It was sooo much better having the baby at home than the hospital I had meconium in the water and it didn't cause even a fraction of worry where it probably would have at the hospital.. and for the first time under the care of a midwife I didn't have a huge tear.

[Oliver'sMom]

Originally Posted by mom2tillie

Is that fair to your husband? Who said that? I wouldn't indulge them with an answer but as for my hubby...he got totally psyched up about hb once he found out that he could catch - try that in a hospital!

Congratulations on your choice... I am also due in Feb. Can't wait to exchange birth stories!

-Iris

that's awesome! my husband caught our son too, and my dog was there for support! no way would that happen in a hospital! OP, you're totally making the best decision and you're going to LOVE birthing at home. What is it with feb.? my son was born in feb too!