Teen and working vent

[carmen veranda]

Sorry, this was a major whine and since no one responded, I rethought it and decided I was being pre menstual and whiney and removed my thread. Sorry

[dlb]

CV--

I just saw this, if I had seen it earlier I would have responded. I have a teen aged son whoes fifteen, and sometimes I think I avoid this forum because I don't want to think about it!


Hope you are doing better, what ever is up. Is it with your teen working, or you?


dlb

[carmen veranda]

Thanks, still working on it.

It's one of those things that I was feeling put out and put upon. Well, whining will not change that!!! . So I taking my standard advise, which is something like, "If I don't like the way a relationship is going, then I can either change my part in it, or accept it." So we had a long talk and I was very clear on my expectations. I still hear her saying she "can call in sick" because she doesn't want to go frequently. But I think she heard some of what I was saying. She's a wonderful person and I am lucky to be her mom.
Thanks for responding to my nonthread...I was soooo prementrual and whiney....

[mamawanabe]

And I was just going to post a response. . .

I was going to say that you could tell her she can quit her job if she thinks it best, but she still owes you money and she still needs to buy prom crap etc. The decision is hers, really (but you need to stick to not giving her money for all the stuff she agreed to pay for out of her salary).

I learned the value of money in h.s. not because my parenst made me work, but because if I hadn't worked, I wouldn't have been able to buy senior pictures, a senior ring, and all the nonsense that I thought I neeed at 18 but that my parents wouldn't (and honestly couldn't) pay for.

Some of my friends' parenst tried to teach them the value of money/work by encouraging them to get part-time jobs, but it didn't work becuase the occasion (need money to fill "need") wasn't there since the parents were still forking over hefty allowances and buying them any clouthes etc.

Good luck. Working part-time in h.s I had this strategy for balancing fun with my scheduled hours at the mall. I'd always never miss something big socialially over work (so if something REALLY fun came up, I'd call in or switch shifts) but I'd never not go in just because I didn't feel like it. Of course, this worked well because I had only a small group of friends. If your daughter is more popular, she may need a better stategy