or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Education › Learning at Home and Beyond › Anyone not teaching preschoolers?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Anyone not teaching preschoolers?

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
Got enough answers, thanks!
post #2 of 47
Sound like you have a very bright sweet child that learns the way most kids want to learn. My DD still to this day cannot "Sit and do school" Instead we learn as we do.

ideas for your daughter, if you are worried
"which shirt do you want to wear, the blue or the red?"
"lets make orange cupcakes today, can you get me the orange food coloring"

If she gets it wrong, just say "oh that is a pretty blue one, but I was looking for this orange one. Do you want to make both blue and orange or just blue cupcakes"

I am one that believes learning comes from exposure, and there are lots of ways to expose kids to things in order to learn. We never taught at preschool age, and she never went to preschool. And, at age 5 she is "above most her age" (I hate those dirty words) Just go with your instincts. You know what is best mama.


To the rest of those people, tell them to sod off.
post #3 of 47
DD is 5, and i'm not teaching her in the same way it would be done in school or preschool. we read together, play a bit, i answer her questions and try to share my intersts... honestly, i can't imagine how those to sit down with their children to "teach" them colours or letters do it. i think so much depends on a child's personality. "teaching" would not work for us at all, and also, i don't see any need for it.
post #4 of 47
my son will be 4 in march and we don't have any kind of structured learning for him at all. he is definitely learning a lot - but it comes form preschool programs on TV, games we play, books we read, hearing tidbits of what i 'm teaching his sister, etc. ....we have nothing formal in any shape or form at all for him....not even a laid back routine (other than meals and bed time). he's just free to play and explore. he's really wired this way though, so i just let him go in his own direction. i get some slack about it sometimes from others, but it's a conscious choice for us - so i don't listen
post #5 of 47
I'm not "teaching" ds in any structured way. We read lots of books, play games, etc.

We do go to story time at the library once a week, but tbh the way they run the program and the kinds of things that they say aren't necessarily something I would agree with. It actually makes me a little bit uncomfortable. Ds doesn't necessarily fit in as nicely into the mold as the other kids do, but being the non-conformist I am it doesnt' bother me one bit.

My mil (retired school teacher) tries to "teach" ds in the same manner as the folks who do the story time at the library and it annoys me just as much. I actually asked her to stop last time she was here and she told me that you have to "take advantage of these moments". I was like...ummmm...yeah...if you're his parent. Knock it off lady! :

Anyways...all that to say I don't feel it necessary to push. Ds picks up on all sorts of things and I'd rather he did so on his own and at his own pace then try to force him to learn something. I think it's more successful that way, anyway - even if every color is either pink or yellow at this point!
post #6 of 47
I'm really a lurker here, but I just had to add myself to the list. DS is 3, and we don't do any kind of instruction. He's picked up so much on his own, without me trying to take over.

We do the same things you do. Play, live, read, sing, etc. No flashcards for us.

DH's mom loves to talk about how he almost got 'rejected for Kindergarten' because he couldn't identify the color orange. And that was at age 5. Of course he is a visual artist with an MFA now.
post #7 of 47
3 is way too young to teach a child to hate learning. Sounds like you are doing just fine!!!
post #8 of 47
My ds will be 4 next week. He has learned his colors and shapes by the fact that we talk about colors and shapes when we get the chance. "look at that big yellow circle!" So I'd say most of the time he gets colors and shapes right these days, but even just today someone showed him a red square and he said it was a red triangle. So obviously he's still learning. At 3 or 4 yrs old, I certainly wouldn't push it or even make it a "formal" learning experience, just talk about things when you get a chance. Use descriptive language so your child has the words to describe things for him/her self. Mostly just have fun while experiencing life and learning will happen naturally.
post #9 of 47
My ds is 4.5 and we basically just have the flashcards, workbooks, etc.. available to him if he asks for them (and sometimes he will).. Otherwise, we just go about our day playing and doing our "chores" lol.. He actually has learned a bit from pbs (yes, I know bad bad bad but he does get an hour of tv every morning when hes waking up because hes a grouch and doesnt like to be spoken to, looked at, or anything when he wakes up lol) We color a lot because he asks to. He does know most of his colors (cant tell the difference between blue and purple or orange and yellow) and he knows most of his simple shapes (doesnt know rectangle). He knows his alphabet when saying them but can only point out a few of the letters written down and cannot write any of them. He knows his numbers and can count to 10... after 10 he mixes it all up lol.. but he cannot tell you the number 1 is 1 or any other number. Just keep doing what your doing. I always say the color of something before the object name.. like "you want to wear the blue shirt?" or "go get me the green paper" things like that.. but seriously, pre-k is not the time for schoolwork or flashcards unless its fun for the child.. if they want to do it, go for it.. Another great thing is board games if your child likes them.. my son just recently fell in love with board games like Candy Land and Hi Ho Cherry O and Lucky Ducks
post #10 of 47
This isn't exactly an answer to the question, but sort of a related life experience that sheds light:

I never had a moment of formal learning before I started Kindergarten. I didn't go to pre-school or anything, and my parents weren't homeschooling so they'd never considered "teaching" me anything. The stuff I learned was learned incidentally, from being read to or playing games or just living in the world. When I started K I got some flack for not being able to print my name in lower case letters, but by the time I was in grade 1 I was being put in "enrichment" classes because I was one of the "smart kids." I never saw a flashcard until I was in grade 2. And I was at the very top of my class all through school and university and I've got a Master's degree now.

So if your kid isn't interested in structured learning and flashcards and all that yet, I sure wouldn't worry about it for a moment.

I know the educational world works a little differently now than it did 23 years ago when I started K, but I don't know that it SHOULD work differently. I once visited an inner city pre-school program in Chicago and was told that students are expected to come to K being able to read, so the pre-school program is obligated to teach them . . . that's sure different from the way I grew up. And just imagine, my parents didn't start school until they were SIX and there wasn't any such thing as kindergarten! I think we all turn out fine in the end.
post #11 of 47
Wow. My daughter went to a nursery school program in a vocational/tech school, too, but it was a COMPLETELY different experience than the description of flash cards : 3 year olds need play, they respond to play & they learn THROUGH play. Play is all they need. Preschool kids can & do learn everything they need to know through PLAY.

As an education major & as someone with my Teacher Assistant certification, I am shocked that she's pushing FLASHCARDS this soon :
post #12 of 47
DD1 is almost 5 and we aren't doing anything yet, we are too busy playing. She isn't interested in numbers or letters, I know that one day she will be, so I'm not concerned.
post #13 of 47
One thing my dd loved, still loves is colours in the bath. Sometimes it would be one colour or sometimes I do two so she can see how they mix.
post #14 of 47
You know, kids are all different. I remember years ago a friend of mine telling me how happy she was that her almost-7-year-old was taking an interest in the alphabet and letter-sounds. I didn't say a thing, but I was privately stunned. My own barely-3yo was already reading, and I didn't think I'd done anything much to facilitate that. No alphabet books, no flashcards, no teachy moments, no Starfall, no workbooks. How the heck could a child possibly get to age 6 and not have those basic skills?

I was a first-time parent with a kid at the other end of the spectrum. I didn't realize that wonderfully bright, normal children could learn on such a wide range of schedules. I didn't realize that my kid was really that far ahead to have learned her alphabet before age 2. But now I've watched a lot of other kids grow up and learn at their own quirky but perfectly-suited-to-them paces, and 7-year-old non-readers don't surprise me at all. But back then, yeah, I was genuinely surprised that my friend had a child who hadn't picked these skills up much sooner.

So maybe it's not so much that they think you should be flashcarding your little one, but that their experiences are with children who have learned these things on a rather different natural schedule.

Miranda
post #15 of 47
Can I share an anecdotal rant for a moment?

My oldest is just over 4 (turned 4 back in August). She and I love to watch the Sprout Channel's Good Night Show for Sagwa and Kipper (it's "our" time to be together since I WOH fulltime.) Well, since we have satellite, we sometimes catch the end of one 3 hr episode (probably the Central Time one) before it switches over to PST and repeats. So there some commercials between, obviously geared at parents (as in Kaboom, Gerber life insurance, and...) One of the commercials I have caught was for Hooked on Phonics. I am not talking down about this program, but this marketing angle just ruffles my feathers. It's a mom and a little boy somewhere (an office waiting room I gather) and the little boy is reading out loud. So the other moms begin to ask this mom, "how old is he?" "He just turned four," she replies. "He reads so well. Is he in school?" and she says, "No, we've been practicing..." : Um wait a minute, didn't he just turn 4? Now he's in school?

I can't attest to HOP and I'm certain it works well for families. But what bothers me is that this is aired on a children's station in the hopes that parents now become concerned that their little 4 yo is not reading. To me it says, good parents are teaching their kids before the age of 4 how to read. That, to me, sets an unfair standard.

Now to bring this back to on topic... we fluctuate. I feel that we're always teaching and at the same time we're not teaching. Yes, there are things I want my children to know and learn. I was an early reader as was dh (both about 4yo.) But I don't expect that of my children. I'm happy dd know's her letters and numbers to about 15. But this wasn't from drills or lessons. She displayed an interest and we sang abc songs and counted with her. Ds is still coming online with talking, but his understanding is immense compared to dd at his age (about 2.5yo.) If you ask him a color, he'll present the correct one, but he can't fully say it yet (as in blue is still "boo.") I figure one day, he'll be speaking clearly and non-stop. He repeats numbers in 3s, but he's learned them from dd (so he'll say out of nowhere "4,5,6" or "8,9,10" ) Instead, dd was running at age 9 mon (she learned to walk later on) and was speaking 3 word sentences at 18 mon. Children differ. Obviously, if dd is having reading problems later on we'll have her tested just as we would have ds screened if he's not talking.

You're not alone. There are still parents who hope their young children have playschool experiences - meaning painting, imaginative play, story time, etc. (as I did when my mom worked at my preschool) - compared to academic preschool experiences where one need to know all the alphabet and a series of number in addition to writing their own first and last name. :

I think this is what is great about hs'ing our dc -- we'll be able to adapt, if necessary, to their specific styles. The schools here are not good, and while class size is limited with younger grades, I fear that the kids would be more likely to receive an emergency credential teacher. Turn over rate for my district is high.
post #16 of 47

3 y/o not doing preschool

Why do people think 2, and 3 y/o kids need to do preschool? STOP worrying! Your child is NOT going to go through life not knowing her colors, numbers or ABCs. She will learn them through every day activities. No one is going to ask when did your dd learn her colors? My ds is almost 5 and he is NOT in preschool. I tried doing some reading lessons, but he hated it. There is no reason a child need to learn to read at 4 or even 5. So far my first 2 boys did not learn to read on their own till 7 or 8. My dd learned much earlier, but I think that is because by then i had stopped pushing and so she learned at her own pace.

Be a REBEL! Fight back for the sake of your dd. Don't make excuses about why she does not know something. Talk about what she CAN do and what she likes to do. Sorry i feel VERY strongly about this. Can you tell?
Robin
post #17 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Papooses View Post
Wow. My daughter went to a nursery school program in a vocational/tech school, too, but it was a COMPLETELY different experience than the description of flash cards : 3 year olds need play, they respond to play & they learn THROUGH play. Play is all they need. Preschool kids can & do learn everything they need to know through PLAY.

As an education major & as someone with my Teacher Assistant certification, I am shocked that she's pushing FLASHCARDS this soon :
Oh, the vo-tech program is great!! They have playtime, then crafttime, snack time, and story time (circle time)- in circle time they sing songs, learn letters etc. But all the kids know their letters before they start at 3, so I guess my mom just thought, if I wanted to send DD there, it would be nice for her to learn her letters first. We went to a class 1 day last year, when DD was 2.5, and I just felt like she was a world behind these kids...during circle time, she got up and sat behind the kids quietly playing with puzzles... which was a 'no no' but since she was visiting it was okay...

I didn't enroll her this year because I just thought, it really isn't her thing. There is lots of fun time to play and stuff, but I thought the actual circle time of learning numbers and stuff, wouldn't be her.
post #18 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by robin4kids View Post
Why do people think 2, and 3 y/o kids need to do preschool? STOP worrying! Your child is NOT going to go through life not knowing her colors, numbers or ABCs. She will learn them through every day activities. No one is going to ask when did your dd learn her colors? My ds is almost 5 and he is NOT in preschool. I tried doing some reading lessons, but he hated it. There is no reason a child need to learn to read at 4 or even 5. So far my first 2 boys did not learn to read on their own till 7 or 8. My dd learned much earlier, but I think that is because by then i had stopped pushing and so she learned at her own pace.

Be a REBEL! Fight back for the sake of your dd. Don't make excuses about why she does not know something. Talk about what she CAN do and what she likes to do. Sorry i feel VERY strongly about this. Can you tell?
Robin

Thanks for this. I used to say that with walking and talking and stuff. DD has been behind in talking before age 3, and all of a sudden, she's talking in sentences and people even say "She talks well for a 3 year old"...it's shocking to hear that because months earlier people were like "oh...she really doesn't talk that great does she?"

I don't want to push her at all...that's why I'm am "being a rebel"...everyone keeps telling me I need to put her there for the "Social life" but...that's a whole nother topic of debate!!!



Thanks ladies, I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement.
post #19 of 47
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heket View Post
Can I share an anecdotal rant for a moment?

My oldest is just over 4 (turned 4 back in August). She and I love to watch the Sprout Channel's Good Night Show for Sagwa and Kipper (it's "our" time to be together since I WOH fulltime.) Well, since we have satellite, we sometimes catch the end of one 3 hr episode (probably the Central Time one) before it switches over to PST and repeats. So there some commercials between, obviously geared at parents (as in Kaboom, Gerber life insurance, and...) One of the commercials I have caught was for Hooked on Phonics. I am not talking down about this program, but this marketing angle just ruffles my feathers. It's a mom and a little boy somewhere (an office waiting room I gather) and the little boy is reading out loud. So the other moms begin to ask this mom, "how old is he?" "He just turned four," she replies. "He reads so well. Is he in school?" and she says, "No, we've been practicing..." : Um wait a minute, didn't he just turn 4? Now he's in school?

I can't attest to HOP and I'm certain it works well for families. But what bothers me is that this is aired on a children's station in the hopes that parents now become concerned that their little 4 yo is not reading. To me it says, good parents are teaching their kids before the age of 4 how to read. That, to me, sets an unfair standard.

Now to bring this back to on topic... we fluctuate. I feel that we're always teaching and at the same time we're not teaching. Yes, there are things I want my children to know and learn. I was an early reader as was dh (both about 4yo.) But I don't expect that of my children. I'm happy dd know's her letters and numbers to about 15. But this wasn't from drills or lessons. She displayed an interest and we sang abc songs and counted with her. Ds is still coming online with talking, but his understanding is immense compared to dd at his age (about 2.5yo.) If you ask him a color, he'll present the correct one, but he can't fully say it yet (as in blue is still "boo.") I figure one day, he'll be speaking clearly and non-stop. He repeats numbers in 3s, but he's learned them from dd (so he'll say out of nowhere "4,5,6" or "8,9,10" ) Instead, dd was running at age 9 mon (she learned to walk later on) and was speaking 3 word sentences at 18 mon. Children differ. Obviously, if dd is having reading problems later on we'll have her tested just as we would have ds screened if he's not talking.

You're not alone. There are still parents who hope their young children have playschool experiences - meaning painting, imaginative play, story time, etc. (as I did when my mom worked at my preschool) - compared to academic preschool experiences where one need to know all the alphabet and a series of number in addition to writing their own first and last name. :

I think this is what is great about hs'ing our dc -- we'll be able to adapt, if necessary, to their specific styles. The schools here are not good, and while class size is limited with younger grades, I fear that the kids would be more likely to receive an emergency credential teacher. Turn over rate for my district is high.
I wanted to say I saw this commerical the other day and thought, "What in the world...he just turned 4?"

I know some kids will sit for hours doing school work (Like our next door neighbors- they will sit all day at a table doing schoolwork- they are 2 and 4.5) But, my DD would never want to "learn" like that.
post #20 of 47
I think using flashcards with a three year old is silly. We're Montessori-Eclectic here, and with each of them at three it was practical life-practical life- practical life.

What you described your child as doing is exactly what she should be doing. As long as you have things available to her, she will naturally navigate things just nicely on her own.

Check this book out by Michael Olaf. It has exactly what a three year old an / should be doing, and I think it will relax you:

http://www.michaelolaf.com/JCcontents.html
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Learning at Home and Beyond
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Education › Learning at Home and Beyond › Anyone not teaching preschoolers?