I understand. I'm a moderator of a board dealing with sexuality. It's a very mainstream board, though. Pretty much every man on there is circumcised.
From what I understand, from those men who post that they feel nothing during intercourse unless they go fast/rough, is that, to overcome this, they changed a few things in their routines. 1. they started masturbating much more gently, and completely stopped any rough or quick masturbation. 2. they had intercourse very gently, no roughness. And they kept at this, for months. They weren't able to orgasm at first at all, and needed help getting there via other means. With time, a lot of them were able to orgasm and were able to feel more than they had before.
This is actually common with a lot of male virgins who first have sex. Some of them use very rough masturbation techniques and when they start having intercourse they simply can not get off. Until they change their habits.
If a man has been roughly handling his penis for most of his life ... he will be de-sentizied to gentle sensations, on top of the circumcision affect. Take away the rough handling, and eventually the ability to feel some of those sensations comes back. Obviously, not like an uncircumcised male would feel ... but, still better than before when rough was the standard.
Of course, it's all individual too. Every man reacts differently. I understand that.
Conversely, there are other means to stimulation than intercourse. If pain is such a problem, it seems logical that gentle/brief intercourse can be part of the whole sexual experience ... but the orgasm can come from other activities. Which, surely, is better than an orgasm at the painful expense of one's partner!
It comes down to the attitude. Do I want my pleasure at the expense of my partner or do I want to try and change that? That attitude is there, regardless of foreskin. And it's a bad attitude, IMO, one which should have no place in a relationship.
Change the attitude, and you change the sex. Because changing that attitude makes one become pro-active, and look for ways to make things better. Maybe it's restoration, maybe it's simply having an orgasm through other means, maybe it's trying to re-learn masturbation and sex, etc. Whatever it is, a pro-active attitude makes all the difference in terms of fixing the problem.
I didn't want to hijack this thread.
Maybe it's not appropriate, or out of line, but I really feel upset for all of you who experience painful intercourse. I mean, sex should be mutual ... it really just saddens me when it's not.
Anyway, I'm sorry for hijacking.
Back on topic, lol.