Did you have a doula at your homebirth?

[GracesMama]

After hearing my experience with my first birth, my midwife suggested I have a doula with me for early labor (I could see the $$$$$$ running through my husband's mind as she recommended this). She said she doesn't recommend a doula for everyone, but she thinks it would help me get through the "mini transition" from early labor to active labor. Last time, I ended up begging for an epidural around 3 - 4 cm (sad, huh...)

My question is, would you recommend having a doula at a homebirth? Why or why not? (Oh, you should also know, that this time around my husband and I are taking Bradley classes...I feel like we're better prepared/equipped to handle pain this time around)

[sing4jy]

I sort of do. The place I go to requires that I hire a birth assistant for the the midwife from a list of preapproved trained ladies. So her primary purpose is to assist the midwife, but when the midwife does not need her to do something she functions as a doula for me. The one I hire is also a Bradley instructor and LLL leader, so not only does she help me remember what I learned in m Bradley classes and put it into practice, she also helps me with any lactation problems I have afterwards. I like having her there in addition to the midwife. One can focus on my labor and the things that need to be done and one can focus on me.

[sarahn4639]

I am a doula so I may be a little biased but it does sound like you could use the support. I totally get the $ aspect but perhaps you could find a doula in training (with a little experience though) that will attend for very little money or do you have a friend that has experience with natural birth and is comfortable with out of hospital birth? I am having a doula at this birth but to be honest, it is only because she volunteered to attend for free after our first birth went so quickly. I will have my husband mostly for support but our doula will help with all the other things so he can focus on me or help him if he gets worked up (he's not thrilled with homebirth). So anyway, while I don't think doulas are necessary at every birth and certainly every home birth I agree that it sounds like you could use the support before your midwife joins you. Talk to her about people she may know that have lower fees if you don't have anyone you feel would be helpful as far as a (experienced) friend. Also check in the tribe area here and maybe there is a mom in training there that is more naturally minded for you. Good luck!

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I think it depends on the mother and the situation. I prefer as few people as possible around me and don't have any need or desire for a doula. Someone who needs more hands-on support could benefit greatly from one.

[cornpicker]

We did. It was our first, and I thought it'd be really helpful to have a supportive presence who knew about natural birth and could be reassuring and all of that. We waffled a lot on it, but in the end I had a 'long' labor and we were so glad she was there to help.

I think it's a good idea. Good luck!

[rosadesal]

i did, and she was a student doula, so i was her first homebirth. i had two midwives and my mother and boyfriend there as well. i ended up relying mostly on my doula, as i wanted cold hands and hers happened to be cold she also took pictures, and really was just THERE while the midwives were busybusy, you know? i would recommend it, definitely, but i also am not one for being alone while i birth, so it worked for me.

[tinyshoes]

She said she doesn't recommend a doula for everyone, but she thinks it would help me get through the "mini transition" from early labor to active labor. Last time, I ended up begging for an epidural around 3 - 4 cm (sad, huh...)[/QUOTE]

s hey, that switch from early labor to active labor is a big deal, in my opinion, as big a deal as the switch to transition later on. Labor is shifting gears, and it takes a little bit for a mama to catch up to that change sometimes.

I served as doula to a first-time homebirthing mom whose mw also suggested she get a doula. This mama was amazing; the suggestion wasn't for lack of confidence or need for support...the couple was taking homebirth Bradley classes even!

But it was a godsend that I was there w/ the couple...labor was very long, there was an unanticipated transfer to the hospital (dehydration and exhaustion.) It was also at this birth that I learned a doula really really does have a job to do, even at a homebirth, even with a midwife and midwife apprentice team: the midwives are there for mom's health and baby, and the doula is there to support mom and the partner.

It was interesting, for me to learn the dance, and to appriciate each member of the birth team's different roles, and how we all worked together to support this mom and partner, but how we each had a different role......and heaven knows hb mws are touchy-feely and with the birthing mama more than some hospital mws, but still--a doula can be a fantastic asset to the birth team.

There are doulas that would practically pay you to be invited to a homebirth. If $ is an issue, I am sure you could find someone who would offer services for a reduced fee, just because it's a homebirth. Personally, I love to support homebirthing women--I don't have to play defense, and keep interventions or interruptions from spoiling a woman's labor; all I have to do is be supportive.

[Romana]

I will be, although I want as few people around as possible.

The reason I want a doula at my homebirth is because of how demanding my toddler is. I want her to be there (dd), but I also know that she will require someone's 100% attention. That will be what the doula does. When dd needs Daddy, he'll take care of her and the doula will be my support person. I really like my doula and she understands that I want essentially zero interference, suggestions, etc. unless asked for. I had a solo labor last time (just dh) and loved it. I feel that the doula we're hiring will be a background, minimal presence and be a pretty necessary part of the scenario if we want dd present (which we do). Also, dh said that he really could have used an extra pair of hands last time - so the idea of him trying to do all the birth stuff plus take care of dd is wayyyy optimistic. The presence of the doula will hopefully give him the opportunities he needs to have a quick bite to eat or use the bathroom.

Those are my reasons for having a doula at my homebirth. Oh, and I think she understands me better than the midwives because she knows me better - and I want her there to translate for me if necessary.

[clintonhillmama]

i was on the fence about this too- i'm due in a few weeks, and we just hired one - we had a doula for my first birth (hospital) and i feel like we underutilized her, coupled with the fact that i ended up not really liking her personality wise.

this time, for our homebirth, we've decided to go with a really, really experienced doula. her fees are high, but my first birth ended up in a c/s, so there was about $2K of out of pocket bills that we had to pay for (grrr...health insurance), so in comparison, it's not that much.

she has a ton of HBAC experience, and both dh and i really like her. she's also a childbirth educator, so she's brought lots of information, tools, and videos to our pre-natal meetings.

the main reason that i decided to look for one was support for dh. if the tables were turned, and he was the one laboring, i know i would be nervous, stressed, and wondering what was "normal" and what was not. we've only been at one birth before - so it's not like we're experts! we both want someone who can be with us in early labor who's been a lots of births. there's also the logistical factor of ds and getting him sorted out with whatever he needs. so there might be moments that dh is occupied with him.

i just want to do EVERYTHING i can in order to have a successful HBAC. now that we've met the right doula for us, i'm really glad we decided to hire one.

[alegna]

I think it depends on the woman, her support situation and the midwife involved.

I did not have a doula and would not want one (but my dh is fantastic support and I have other people who can wait on him )

-Angela

[the_lissa]

It totally depends on the person. I personally did not have one and wouldn't want one. I want as few people there as possible and my dh and midwife did everything a doula does.

[kalisis]

I didn't have one at either of my births and my DH was NO help. None at all...he spent my entire first labor moving boxes from our bedroom to the basement and then taking pictures and he was only home for the last 1 1/2 hours of my second labor of which, he spent most of it chasing DS around trying to get him dressed.

The mw wanted me to have one the first go round, but I didn't and even tho I didn't have any help from DH, I'm glad I didn't. For me, I don't really want anyone else there, the next one I'll UC, so I think it all depends on how much you think you need support in keeping your decisions made. It's easier to stand up for yourself at home b/c there isn't so much pressure from staff and such, but maybe you also need the support and encouragement that a doula could offer.

[Veritaserum]

I have had three home births (and one hospital birth). I didn't have a doula with my first home birth. I didn't know about doulas at the time, but I wouldn't have hired one because I needed to be alone during that birth. Dh and dd were asleep for 95% of it and my mw was in another room.

With my next baby I just felt like I needed a doula. I'm glad I listened to that and hired one. I experienced some major complications that kept my midwife and her two assistants busy so it was really great to have my doula there just for my emotional needs. She helped me stay calm and focused. I'm so glad I hired a doula.

With my third home birth I didn't hire a doula but I have a massage therapist doula friend who said I could call if I needed her. I had a really putsy, on-and-off sort of labor so I asked her to come work my pressure points. She ended up staying through the birth.

With this baby, I'm torn. I'm still really early, though, and figure I'll sort things out as we get closer. What I may end up doing is hiring a doula and then if I want to be alone just have everyone be downstairs. I think I'd really like dh to be more involved with this one. In the past he's done zero labor support. It's our fifth baby. I think it's high time he learned.

Anyway, it doesn't hurt to interview a few doulas and see how you feel after that.

[Patchfire]

I had a good friend - as it happened she does have some training as a doula but that wasn't the reason I invited her! I would not want to hire someone for a homebirth but if you have a friend that could fill the role, either who has pre-existing knowledge or is willing to 'read up' on it, then perhaps that would be a good option?

[Shell_Ell]

I had a doula and she ended up serving that very purpose. I really needed help getting over the mental hump of going from early labor into active labor, and she helped me focus and do that. Honestly, my doula was really only one on one with me for about 2 hours as active labor kicked in but those 2 hours set the tone for the rest of my labor. The rest of it she just served as another pair of hands, took pictures, etc. Postpartum she helped make sure I was comfortable, got me something to eat. She was awesome.

I went back and forth as to whether I wanted to have a doula, but I was glad I did.

[SaraGriffin]

We *only* had a doula because in Nebraska it's illegal for a CNM to attend a homebirth. She is a lay midwife but we signed something saying she was only our doula/birth assistant. She was all we needed, though!
It was great having her support, especially because me and my husband had no clue what we were doing or what was normal, as it was our first child.

[valeria_vi]

Originally Posted by Romana9+2

I will be, although I want as few people around as possible.

The reason I want a doula at my homebirth is because of how demanding my toddler is. I want her to be there (dd), but I also know that she will require someone's 100% attention. That will be what the doula does. When dd needs Daddy, he'll take care of her and the doula will be my support person. I really like my doula and she understands that I want essentially zero interference, suggestions, etc. unless asked for. I had a solo labor last time (just dh) and loved it. I feel that the doula we're hiring will be a background, minimal presence and be a pretty necessary part of the scenario if we want dd present (which we do). Also, dh said that he really could have used an extra pair of hands last time - so the idea of him trying to do all the birth stuff plus take care of dd is wayyyy optimistic. The presence of the doula will hopefully give him the opportunities he needs to have a quick bite to eat or use the bathroom.

Those are my reasons for having a doula at my homebirth. Oh, and I think she understands me better than the midwives because she knows me better - and I want her there to translate for me if necessary.

are you expecting again? congratulations! Pm me please! we're ttc #2. who's your midwife this time?

[To-Fu]

We hired our doula before we switched to a home birth, but we decided to stick with her after all.

I think it will be nice to have the additional support of an experienced person who is ONLY there to see to the needs of DP and me. I also like knowing she's there in the event of a hospital transfer.

That said, I'm a little worried we won't "need" her if all ends up going well at home. Our HB MW is bringing her assistant and DP will be there as well. I really like our doula though, and I figure it's better to be safe than sorry.

If you think there's even a slight chance you might want/need a doula's support, I'd go for it w/o hesitation. If you're worried about the money, ask your doula if she'd be able to attend you for a reduced fee. Ours cut down the price a lot when we switched to a home birth, and she actually said, "I feel like I should be paying you!"

[Mooney]

Originally Posted by tinyshoes

There are doulas that would practically pay you to be invited to a homebirth. If $ is an issue, I am sure you could find someone who would offer services for a reduced fee, just because it's a homebirth. Personally, I love to support homebirthing women--I don't have to play defense, and keep interventions or interruptions from spoiling a woman's labor; all I have to do is be supportive.

Yes! I know one woman who charges half her fee for homebirths even as an experienced doula. It's exactly because she doesn't have to "play defense" as tinyshoes says, and it stokes her passion for her work to see calm, natural, ecstatic homebirths. When doulas get "burned out" often it's not the birth support aspect that wears them out, it's the hospital situation and the frustrating repetition of watching perfectly good labors go to unnecessary-interventionland.


GracesMama--If you feel like you would handle the acceleration of labor better this time, you may not feel the need to have someone. That trembly-intense-confused phase does pass as you find a new rhythm in active labor, and that's something you know now and you may not have realized the first time around.

As for me, I didn't have a doula for my HBAC. DH, mw, and an assistant were plenty of people for me.

[1Plus2]

This is my first homebirth and we have decided to have a doula. I'm lucky that she is a LLL co-Leader so she is doing this for free. She is VERY sought after in our area and I've heard only raves about her. I also love her as a person and know she'll be a calm, supportive energy. She will be there with suggestions when either DP or I need her and she is also very okay with us telling her to let us be alone. We're pretty sure we'll want to do a lot of this on our own but knowing that she's there is a very calming thought.

Another big plus about her is that she lives very close by...our midwife lives 90 minutes away. She (the mw) wants us to call her as soon as we know that I am in labor so that she'll make it in time. My last two labors were about 5 hours each so I may (or may not) go faster this time. Our midwife has walked us through what to do if she does not make it and our doula is comfortable assisting us in that situation.