first negative nip comment

[pegmom]

I have been nursing my ds for 21 mos. now and have always nursed anywhere, anyhow. I was at the deli today nusing my son in the sling--he was in the hip carry--and a woman came up to me, got right in my face and said, "I don't really think that is appropriate. You should go to a quiet corner." I was too stunned to come up with a quick comeback. I finally said, "It's legal and yours is the first negative comment I have had in almost two years." She had the audacity to say, "I don't want I discussion about it, but I thought you should know my opinion." Hello? She was the one to start the discussion in the first place with her unsolicited advice. She then grabbed her husband and bolted out. I wish I would have caused more of a commotion because the place was packed full of families eating lunch. She obviously thought that I would just pack up and run to the bathroom in shame. When I started to argue with her she left immediately. I'm just kicking myself because I wished I had done more. Why do these morons think that they can just approach women and spout of their opinions about how and where they should feed their children? Why would this woman, a complete stranger, think that she has any influence on my parenting choices?

[Leonor]

Oh, nevermind her.
*hugs*

[liam's mom]

how frustrating. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Thought you might like some more

[Happypants]

don't beat yourself up about it

it's great that you held your ground and she left. if she so obviously thought you would tuck your tail and run off and you didn't, then i'm sure she feels like an idiot.

what a *itch...was she older? "i don't really think that is appropriate" sounds like something a sour old woman would say, especially unsolicited like that.

good job

[phathui5]

Not to be weird, but congratulations! Someone noticed you doing the right thing with your ds. Probably when she had kids, people were expected to go "do that" in a quiet corner (if she was older). Instead, you are not only doing what's best for your ds, but also fitting him into your life so that you can do what you need/want to. She might have actually been jealous.

[Quirky]

Wow, what a nerve - as if you wanted her opinion and would just meekly accept it!

Good for you for standing your ground. I know you probably thought of 33 great comebacks that you wish you had used, but you did great!

She is a moron. 100 percent Grade A American prime M-O-R-O-N. :

[Momtwice]

Good for you for nursing anywhere. Good for you for being strong. If she ran away obviously she didn't have any good arguments for you and was intimidated by your courage and your strength and your power. Yes, power. I feel empowered just reading your story!

Remember, "Great Spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." Einstein

Go Pegmom! Go Pegmom! Go Pegmom!

[Piglet68]

Aw, man! I keep hoping someone will say something like that to me. I have all these great comebacks stored in my head, lol!

Seriously though, I'm sorry she got in your face like that.

Btw, how do you nurse in the hip carry? I'd like to try that with my DD!

[dentente]

You did beautifully! You did not cry and you did not run and you were about 4,000% nicer than *I* would have been. What a miserable, uptight cow she was! Wonder what crawled up her bum and died?

denny

[rrr]

don't you think it's interesting that the people who are most touchy about breastfeeding rights and responsibilities are very often women. in my experience, always women.

my conclusion is that it's GUILT. whether conscious or subconscious: Guilt that they didn't give themselves completely to their own children. guilt for prioritizing something other than total bondedness with the tiny dependent people they brought into the world.

deep, deep down they wish they had done what we are doing.

i think it's a kind of a buried wound.

i guess i feel a kind of compassion for those generations that were overtly discouraged from breastfeeding. rrr

[gigglesgalore]

I know how it feels to freeze up when someone confronts you unexpectedly and you wish you'd handled the situation differently.
I think you responded very appropriately. I bet when you said it's legal, she got cold feet and backed down. Good job! At least you gave her something to think about, even if you would have liked to give her more!

[Proudly AP]

i agree, i think you handled it well. you didn't lose your cool (and make her add 'rabid' to her inevitable story about the bf mom at the deli )

i also agree about the guilt thing. i may be wrong, but i have been thinking more lately about other women's reactions, and i wonder if they are feeling some degree of guilt or inadequacy for not having bf (not saying they *should* feel it, but wondering if that's the source of their angst)

[gurumama]

You did GREAT! You gave a reasonable reply, stood your ground, and let her know SHE was the odd one for being the first negative reply you'd ever received. She ran away.

Yeah for you!

[pegmom]

I would say this woman was in her late 30s to early 40s--so not really old in my book. I think that it is also interesting that it is mostly women who tend to give negative feedback. I have never heard one story about men approaching a nursing mom with negative feedback. Unfortunatly, I think there is still an underlying belief in some corners of this world that a "lady" should be at home minding the house and kids while the men folk go out in the public domian. I think this woman maybe felt like it was her duty to remind me how to behave. Although she was not "old", per say, even though I am 30 I look about ten years younger so maybe she was trying to give me some sort of twisted and unsolicited piece of wisdom!
Piglet68--I have a hip carry sling made by Walking Rock Farm. I have been using it about a year now and absolutly love it. It goes around your waist and shoulder so when I want to nurse I just lett up the slack around my shoulder and lower my son so he can nurse. The waist strap helps redistribute the weight so we are comfy. The web site is www.walkingrockfarm.com. They are pretty expensive but the quality is excellent. If you want more info pm me.

[Viola]

Re: first negative nip comment

Originally posted by pegmom
She had the audacity to say, "I don't want I discussion about it, but I thought you should know my opinion."

Why? We all know opinions are like anuses--did she bend over and show that to you too? Geez!

[Meiri]

:LOL

Oh Amywillo, that response just made my day!

In 4 years, just over 3 expecting to have to NIP sometime in the week, I never got an overt negative comment except from my breastfeeding family! Yup, every cousin of our children has been BF, yet my willingness to NIP and refusal to hide or feed in a bathroom stall is what gets criticized.

Go figure: