When to tell the family

[HulaJenn]

Do you think x-mas time is too early to announce pg? I will be 8 weeks.
At what gestational age is the threat of m/c over?
When is everyone else telling?

[hyz]

Hi! I'm brand new here, but I've been thinking about the same thing, so thought I'd chime in. My estimated date is technically 7/29/08, but I'm guessing it'll be late--they say first pgs tend to run long. I read that the chance of mc goes down 95% after hearing a good heartbeat, which can apparently be done as early as 6.5 weeks or so, but is fairly likely to hear at 7.5-9 weeks. I'll be 10 wks exactly on Christmas, so I'm hoping to hear a heartbeat before that, and then be able to break the news to everyone on Christmas. It's still a little earlier than I feel totally comfortable with, but if I want to do it in person, that's my big chance!

Congratulations!! Good luck!!

[BakerALM]

Originally Posted by hyz

I'll be 10 wks exactly on Christmas, so I'm hoping to hear a heartbeat before that, and then be able to break the news to everyone on Christmas.

Just curious but wont you just be 9wks on x-mas? but still a good plan either way.

[hyz]

Originally Posted by BakerALM

Just curious but wont you just be 9wks on x-mas? but still a good plan either way.

Hm, I wish I knew for sure--I'm a little confused by all of this. I thought I was in week 4 right now until I plugged my LMP date (10/23/07) into an online calculator today and they told me I'm in week 5, with the EDD of 7/29/08. If I'm in week 5 now, then Christmas will be the first day of week 10. Right?? Please explain this to me if I've got it wrong--this is my first time around with all of this stuff....:

Thanks!

[Sigrid]

I'm not part of the DDC (not yet anyway, *crossing fingers*) but with my 2nd pregnancy I started showing a lot earlier so if you are near your relatives you may want to tell them before they have to ask. One of my coworkers had guessed though because my boobs were big. She said it was a dead giveaway.

ETA: I was wearing some maternity clothes before 12 weeks, but not quite sure at what point.

[mama_at_home]

We are trying to decide the same thing. I think I want to wait to tell people until I start to show. I had twins last time so I am sure I won't be able to hide this pregnancy long, due to being stretched out. I am due August 1st and I think I will be 8-9 weeks on Christmas. I miscarried my first pregnancy so we waited 12 weeks to tell our next pregnancy, and the one after that we told right away, like at 5 weeks.

[Sugarshoc]

hyz,
My LMP is 10/23 also. Yayyyy.

[hyz]

Originally Posted by Sugarshoc

hyz,
My LMP is 10/23 also. Yayyyy.

Hey, I just said the same to you over in July! So, how did you calculate what week you're in? I used the calculator on parents.com, I think, and it said I was 5 weeks (using normal assumptions and just my LMP date). Because of the comment here I went to fertilityfriend.com and it said I'm 4 weeks, using the same date and assumptions. No wonder I'm confused! What date are we really supposed to start counting by? 10/23 was a Tues.--if you include 10/23 as day 1 of week 1, then we are now in day 3 of week 5 (by today I mean Thursday, in my time zone, anyway). Right? And we'd be due at the end of week 40, or technically the first day of week 41. So that kind of makes sense to me. Is that how it works?

[ORLY?]

Not in your DDC but I just thought I'd put my two cents in.
We thought we'd wait until week 13, but during week 9 we had our first appointment, heard the heartbeat, saw the baby, and everything was measuring right on, so we told our families eariler than expected.

[HulaJenn]

Originally Posted by Sigrid

I'm not part of the DDC (not yet anyway, *crossing fingers*) but with my 2nd pregnancy I started showing a lot earlier so if you are near your relatives you may want to tell them before they have to ask. One of my coworkers had guessed though because my boobs were big. She said it was a dead giveaway.

ETA: I was wearing some maternity clothes before 12 weeks, but not quite sure at what point.

I thought it might be kind of funny to wait until my family noticed I wasn't just getting fat from cheesecake! LOL The last 2 times I told my family (parents and grandparents) when I was like 3 seconds pg (right after POAS) and they gave me heck because it makes the wait longer for them so i thought I would hold off as long as i could, but being 4 weeks and having 2 previous children, I already have a little baby bump so I don't know how long I will be able to hold off!

[BakerALM]

Originally Posted by hyz

Hey, I just said the same to you over in July! So, how did you calculate what week you're in? I used the calculator on parents.com, I think, and it said I was 5 weeks (using normal assumptions and just my LMP date). Because of the comment here I went to fertilityfriend.com and it said I'm 4 weeks, using the same date and assumptions. No wonder I'm confused! What date are we really supposed to start counting by? 10/23 was a Tues.--if you include 10/23 as day 1 of week 1, then we are now in day 3 of week 5 (by today I mean Thursday, in my time zone, anyway). Right? And we'd be due at the end of week 40, or technically the first day of week 41. So that kind of makes sense to me. Is that how it works?

fertiliyfriend is reliable. But here is the lowdown on counting. The really confusing thing is that you really have a week zero. The day of your LMP is day 1 of week 0, you are only one day and zero weeks pregnant.The next week when people ask you "how many weeks pregnant you are?" you would say 1 week. So right now you are 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

Does that make sense??

[geo_girl]

I'll be right around 8 weeks at Christmas, but think we might wait until the new year (ya, I say that now! )

hoping to hear a heartbeat before letting the cat out of the bag...

I'm definitely more nervous this time than when we conceived DD#1...

charlene

[hyz]

BakerALM, thanks! Sure, if there's a "week 0", that makes perfect sense. Gee, you think there would be such a simple explanation on the web somewhere as the one you just gave, but I looked! Ok, so I'll try to set that OB appointment for around week 8.5, and hope that that's not too early to hear a heartbeat so that I can break the news on Christmas. It would be so much fun to do that, plus it would make it way easier to turn down alcohol without looking suspicious! I'm seeing my parents over Xmas, but we're planning to go on a ski vacation with DH's family on New Year's and the week following it. I'm not so hot on skis, and usually I push myself to try to keep up with them, but I'm especially nervous about taking any big spills in my current condition. So, it would be great to be able to tell them too, and have a legitimate reason for hanging out on the green trails. Otherwise they'll just have to think I'm even more of a wuss than usual.

[minsch1]

This is my third pregnancy, and just like the first 2 we're going to tell the family right away. First of all, we already told our other children, and I'm sure they will tell Grandma "Did you know mommy has a baby growing in her tummy?" the first chance they get. Also, if heaven forbid I do m/c I want the support of my family. As for telling acquaintances, I'm not really sure. We'll probably just let my MIL spread the news (she's so good at that ). I've already got a bump, though, so between that and the boobs, I'm sure the secret will be out soon!

[Carley]

I'm so jealous of those of you with a LMP! I've been taking tests at random, the last test was over a month ago! I got my first "whoa I'm going to hurl!" day before yesterday & all 3 tests came up positive. I could be as little as 2 weeks! Only my new little beano knows

I am DYING to tell family, but DH wants to wait until Christmas. I am so close with his mother, I don't think I can keep this secret much longer!

[homebirthing]

I just found out this morning and told my husband and three girls at the same time!! I also told my MIL, mother, and sisters and close friends. I have always told everyone right away. I can't imagine going through a miscarriage by myself because I hadn't said anything.

Congratulations!!

[Carley]

^I feel the same way! I told my MIL yesterday & I feel so much better! She is my rock!

[brandybehr]

Seeing how it is winter and I am in 2-3 layers all the time, I am sure I can hide it for a while and keep it a secret. I know I am going to get a lot of judgements so I will hold off on receiving those for a while.

[homebirthing]

Brandy~ Why judgement?

[LAMommy]

I haven't gotten a BFP yet (fingers crossed~Testing Dec. 4th) but if I do I will probably wait until Valentine's Day to tell anyone. For one, we were not TTC (although we were going to in the new year), and secondly my DH obsesses about finances and with the Holidays and Property Taxes due in Jan he would freak out instead of being excited.

I think I could keep it to myself for that long and get me to 12+ weeks. By that time we will be getting into the groove of 2008 and DH won't feel so overwhelmed.