Worried about when DH goes back to work

[maisiedotes]

DH had a week off for the baby's arrival. He goes back on Friday and I am not knowing how I am going to handle it. It is nice that he is here so I can do laundry, take a nap, etc. Now that I have to pump breast milk when baby is sleeping, plus take care of the household stuff at the same time. I am just sooooo hormonal and weepy all the time- I feel like I am falling apart. The hemorrhoid, the BF issue, not sleeping much, the bleeding... it is so nice to have him here but of course we need money coming in. My mom can come up on weekends but other than that I don't have any help... nor do I really want anyone around but DH. I hope this is not the start of some PPD.... Is anyone else worried about doing it all themselves?

[Kontessa]

Was worried, but doing it, and considering my little sleep and other kids plus homeschooling, I am doing dang well too! Choosing an attitude I have found to be half my battle. When I want to cry, I laugh. I have things all over my home to remind me to be strong, to laugh, and to cry at the sad things. No room to feel bad for myself though, I am blessed.

I worry about PPD, but it is at the back of my mind. I am watching for it and taking each day without it as a blessing.

It will get better, this I am certain of.

((((HUGS))))

[Curlita]

My husband goes back next Monday and I am FREAKING about juggling Conrad and Dylan, and hoping the anemia will be better and the constant nursing will have let up. Dylan is at day care Wed-Fri, but I don't know how to cope on Mon & Tues.

Can you afford a post partum doula? Or do you hAVE ANY FRIENDS WHO CAN COME HOLD THE BABY WHILE YOU SHOWER, ETC? whoops, nak, sorry to shout.

No answers, but lots of sympathy.

[*Lindsey*]

Can you let the household stuff slide? That's the first thing that has fallen by the wayside here. The twins were born on a Friday and DH went back to work on Monday. MIL came for 1/2 the day each day for the first week, and one or 2 afternoons for the next two weeks. We've been on our own mostly since. It's chaotic, but as long as we're all clothed and fed, I consider it a good day! You'll do fine!

[Curlita]

I second letting the housework go... keep your goals low and manageable, like brushing your teeth and putting on clothes.

Lindsey, I am in awe... I have no idea how you manage twins at home alone, along with the other kiddos.

[Isaac'sMa]

Originally Posted by Curlita

Lindsey, I am in awe... I have no idea how you manage twins at home alone, along with the other kiddos.

nak...me either. : You must be so busy, Lindsey.

Maisie, your job right now is to take care of your baby and yourself. Honestly if the house is a mess, you might just have to overlook it for a bit until you are healed enough and the pumping decreases. There is only so much you can do, even if it will drive you crazy not to do those things!

I make sure that I get a shower every morning before dh goes to work and that helps tremendously on how I feel the whole day long and my outlook on life in general . Our house is not clean up to my usual standard, but oh well. DH has still been helping a lot with laundry since it's in the basement...

[maisiedotes]

Well, my parents are coming up tomorrow, luckily. They will stay the weekend and that will hopefully help me get adjusted a bit. My mother said she wants me to focus on myself and the baby and she will do the cooking, laundry, dishes, etc so it is less for me to worry about. I am so relieved- I didn't think I wanted anyone here but it will be nice to have someone hold her when she wakes up, etc. I think the stress of not only being home by myself with the baby and not wanting to ask my parents to drive 200 miles to come help me... It sounds like you all are doing great! I hope I can follow suit...

[cheeseRjedi]

That is great your folks are coming up to help. When you are back to being just you and the baby - LET YOUR HOUSE GO. Seriously...it will always be there, but your baby will only be this little and need you this much once. Years from now when you think back to this newborn period, you will NOT think 'wow...that week would have been so much better if the kitchen were cleaned or the laundry was done'. You will think back to holding your sweet girl.

That being said, I am also a little freaked out about when DH has to go back to work on Tuesday, mainly because of DD. She is already going stir crazy being inside all the time. She's the kind of kid that NEEDS to go outside everyday or she is a total crazy person. Plus it snowed yesterday and Silas does NOT like being cold so I'll have to bundle him up extra warm to go outside with DD.

[renaissanceed]

Ditto everything Cheeserjedi said. After DD was born I evaluated the housework & pared it down to the bare minimum. And then I made a schedule. I tried to do dishes every day & laundry every 2nd day. Then it went something like this:
Monday - water plants
Tuesday - clean bathroom upstairs
Wed - deal with finances
Thursday - clean bathroom downstairs
Friday - wash kitchen floor
Sat - vacuum upstairs
Sun - vacuum downstairs

And if it didn't get done one week, well, there was always the following week. I never did things like dust and the vacuuming was really lame because DD hated the vacuum (still does). But we survived and the dirty house was the least of my concerns. I focused on DD and our relationship and she turned into a delightful toddler who enjoys spending time with me baking or reading or playing kitchen or doing exercises (toddlerobics we call it). That is much more important to me than how clean the house was/is.

I made DH do his own laundry and deal with his own breakfast/lunches and I tried to generate as few dishes as possible when I had brekkie/lunch. And if anyone offered help, I said, sure, throw in some laundry, or wash some dishes, but honestly after the first two weeks, help magically disappeared by and large.

[drnmd1216]

My dh went back to work last Sunday after almost 2 weeks off and it was the HARDEST day for me ever. It was so nice to have the teamowrk for those 2 weeks and I felt lost that first day. Its getting better each and every day, but I have to agree with the other ladies that there is NO WAY to do it all alone this early on. My house is beyond trashed at this moment. I am in survival mode when dh is off at work (and he is a truck driver so he is gone for 2 days at a time)....so on those days, getting everyone fed and happy is my ultimate goal (and dressed in real clothes is a bonus!)

Just do what you can and accept any help you can get! I have family bringing meals and its SUCH a huge help for me right now.

[GinaRae]

I have never had any sort of help after babes were born except for this one where mom will be here until December. It's been nice (albeit stressful) having the help.

I'm a bit worried though as when she leaves, hubby will also be gone to work with ridiculously long hours again. Then I will be up all night with babe, getting kids to school and back, doing all the meals and laundry, etc, again. All by myself. Yikes. At least 12 years ago when I had my first I didn't have three other kids to clean, cook and launder for!!!!

[*Lindsey*]

It is HARD. I am very busy and TIRED, feel like I can't see/think straight some days. I usually get one kiddo settled and happy then another one needs something. : We're all surviving, and pretty happy, so just worrying about eating 3 meals a day and brushing our teeth is working out ok for us!

Letting the housework go is the hardest thing for me. I tend to be a teeny tiny bit OCD in that department. Thank the Lord MIL came today. She came last Friday and caught up the laundry and swept/mopped the floors. I managed to sweep on Monday, but that's it. Can I just tell ya'll how disgusting my kitchen floor was?!

[chrysalis]

with megh i napped when she napped if i needed it. when my ex step dd (meghs' sister from bio father) was w/ us visiting it was even harder...got even HARDER when my ex got sole legal custody of that dd...i had a newborn and this 3 yo sd who did NOT want to nap when i was exhausted. i had a LOT on my shoulders then......lets just say i was very PPD and a basket case at times. i beat myself up so badly for how exhausted i was and how impatient i was w/ sd. it was just too much on me then...... i can't remember too many moments i was purely alone w/ my newborn dd.

this time around, i'm a single mama and will have a newborn son plus my megh who is 5 (and definitely NOT into napping...). this is going to be challenging for me as i suffer even not pg w/ fatigue and depression so hopefully it won't be too hard on me. thankfully i DO have my mom nearby and she can take megh for a while when i nap, i'm sure...i'm hoping. sigh..................................it will be interesting going to bed at night w/ megh and the baby.......megh and i are so used to being together and there are going to be times when she will have to shush (me too) if sheamas is sleeping already in the bed..... we'll see how it goes!!!

i don't have any suggestions except since its just you and mairead, sleep when you can. clean when you have the energy...leave it be when you do not.

[scheelimama]

I'm worried about this too, as I've gotten rather spoiled with dh here to help. But I'll only be alone for 3 days before my mom comes to stay for a month. Still not sure if having her here for a month is a blessing or curse, but I'll gladly take the help. I know I'd be fine without her though, as Kimmy said, it's partly a choice of attitude/mental state. But it will be overwhelming.

[Kontessa]

Alisha -- I do not envy you. I think part of my hope is I will soon have help. It keeps me swimming. Though if I had to look at it differently, as I did this past 13 months alone, I would have I am sure. It is amazing to me still what we can do when we must. I have no choice, there are no other options. I think that helps with breastfeeding thought too, even when it hurts and I am just too sleepy to even get up, I some how manage. I will admit last night baby and I slept wet last night as I tried to change her in bed, in the dark even, and she peed mid change and I was too dang sleepy to change my bedding and cloths and take a shower, so it waited till morning. Last night baby and I got a cough! She now has a runny nose too.

We have a cold..... Lord help me if it can go wrong.... LOL We will deal, we have to, not a choice. I hope others do well, better then us last night at least.

[maisiedotes]

I love my parents but in the past day since they have been here I have realized that I may be better off home alone with DD! I kinda like when there is nobody saying "is she hungry? is she warm? where is her hat?" When they go I can pump in the living room without worrying about who will see my boobsicles... I am taking the help while they are here but I am looking forward to when they go run errands!

I do miss having DH home. Mainly for company. I give you mamas with other kids at home (or only one babe at home) SOOO much credit. It is hard, this mom stuff!

[Kontessa]

Oh hell... breastfeeding is hard enough, specially with how big my boobs are. I do not care who sees them! LOL Baby needs to eat and people do not need to look.