Heartbroken (Updates: Post #91, 122, 136) - Page 3

[becoming]

Oh my gosh, how awful. :

I hope he gets the lessons somehow...

[LavenderMae]

Your poor ds. I'm really hoping something comes through for him.
I have nothing nice to say about your ex. :

[DaughterOfKali]

Thanks. I'm sending my wish out to the universe.

[klg47]

When I was a kid, we practiced piano at our church. There were many pianos in the church, so that way my sister and I could practice at the same time. Are you a member of a church, or do you think you could find one to set up an arrangement with? That wouldn't cover lessons, but at least it would cover the piano.

[DaughterOfKali]

We can only practice at the church on Sundays. With suzuki, you have to practice every single day.

[klg47]

There's no way you can even ask? Our church wasn't the type that was open all the time - my mom had to get special permission and a key.

[KayleeZoo]

There's no way you can even ask? Our church wasn't the type that was open all the time - my mom had to get special permission and a key.

I agree- most churches would be happy to accomodate such a special situation. It would be worth it to mention to your pastor/priest/whomever is in charge of your church what the situation is, too. I bet there are people who would be happy to volunteer the use of a piano or keyboard, and lessons. I don't know what it is, but lots of church-goers are great piano players, myself excluded, though

[A&A]

My 5 yo. loves music and would be crushed at that, as well. So sorry mama!

[jellop]

Yeah, I'd ask a church. Heck, at our church, about half the members have a key (in case the door over happens to be locked - which isn't very often). I've walked in there oftentimes to hear someone at the piano practicing. It's pretty cool. At least ask - it couldn't hurt anything.

And what's up with your ex?!: While I'm sure it's irritating for him to be there, and acting like everything is fine - I'll bet your DS is thrilled that his daddy is there. Sorry you have to go through any hassles and stress with him being there. But, hang in there. And Happy Thanksgiving!

[DaughterOfKali]

Originally Posted by klg47

There's no way you can even ask?

I did ask. They run a preschool there (all day) so we can't use the piano during the week. They don't employ people there at night and they don't give the key to just anyone (I'm a new member). Trust me, I tried and tried.

[DaughterOfKali]

Originally Posted by jellop

I'll bet your DS is thrilled that his daddy is there.

Yes and no. My ds is very rigid on schedules and this has thrown him for a loop. He's not sure he's liking this unexpected change in plans. Plus, he's not happy with him about the digital piano.

[bullfrog]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

He doesn't feel like spending the money. (he can afford it, he just doesn't want to do it. He's a very selfish person but I just can't believe he pulled this)

Ok - after reviewing all the possible ways I could exact revenge on this man- I would take a deep breath and accept that he was under the catagory of 'things I cannot change'.

Then I would move over to the 'things I can change' and start working very hard towards making a very strong and sturdy boundry between him and your son.

Some of my more painful memories are of waiting for my dad to 'come through' and he never ever did. It's a very unsafe and unloved feeling, while I don't blame my mother for it, I wish she could have protected us (me and my sis) from it.

I hope there is something - I don't know that there is - but if there is I hope you can find a way to make it crystal clear that he is not to ever do anything like this again.

[eclipse]

I hope smething works out for you. My ds has been obsessed with his keyboard since thestart of school and is teaching himself to play. I know how much it mellows him out. We can't afford lessons, either, but he is doing so well on his own, it's amazing!

[Avani]

I would ask a music teacher to loan you one and apply for the financial assistance for the lessons. Also because he is autistic i bet you could really push that with the music place to get a lower discount. I have been able to get my dd help in so many ways by explaining our financial hardships and her disability.

[momfosampson]

Good Grief. His dad sounds like a real jerk. If he is true to his nature he will eventually say "yes" then his ego will be all pumped when his son says "thank you" over and over.

If not, look on freecycle or craigslist. There are lots of people unloading free pianos (yes, you may have to pay transportation charges) AND there are plenty of people who give out free lessons.

I am a music teacher and I do this all the time especially if the student wants to learn. I didn't care if they were talented but if they practiced and loved it, you bet I'd do it for free.

[MysteryMama]

your ex is a real jerk

[peacelovingmama]

I'm so sorry. How totally disappointing.

[DaughterOfKali]

Thanks all.

[Rainbowbird]

That totally stinks.

I will pm you with some possibilities, though. I am in the NE.

[AmyY]

I'm a music teacher (in the middle of the Pacific so can't help directly sorry ) but here's my thought for what it's worth.

Call the school and explain that you will be looking to barter for lessons and a keyboard. Just be matter-of-fact about it. If they are the ones who have someone skilled to teach your DS, go with them.

I barter with students for childcare, personal organization stuff, etc. If a student needed access to a piano, I'd give them the combo to the practice rooms at the local univ. where I also teach.

This is not an impossible situation, logistics-wise.

I also get that you had it settled and are dealing with a new revelation about DS's father's behavior and attitudes. It's really beyond the pale what he did.

But when it comes to getting lessons and an instrument, there are teachers and instruments littered all over the place. We get into this because we have lotsa heart. We usually need help and will barter. We always have ideas for how/where to practice.

Seriously. You can do this. Hugs.