I'm enjoying this discussion; I think it's important to put a lot of thought in how you parent.
My mom drilled it into my head that it was important to be myself and that it was not only okay to be different, but ideal. What became painfully apparent as I got older and grew into myself, so to speak, was that she wanted me to be different like her. She was/is very hostile to me actually being who I am. She always prided herself on how cool she was because she used drugs and partied and was very beautiful. She looked down on normal, boring people. Well, guess what, I've never been cool and I have nothing in common with her and it is not okay with her.
Some parents say they want their kids to be themselves and be unoppressed, but they don't really mean it. Sometimes I have to look at the decisions I make as a parent to see if I have an agenda, or if it's really in my dd's best interest.