Starting preschool when new baby arrives?

[proudmamanow]

Dd 2.5 will turn 3 in April a month after the arrival of her new little sibling. At this point both dw & I will have the opportunity to be home for 9+ months with both of them, and we will be pulling dd from her full time home daycare. Dd adores her dcp and her son, and I’m sure will miss them, but is also a sensitive, home loving little girl who is not so keen on separations.

Dd has also decided that she desperately wants to go to preschool-she keeps asking us and wants to start as soon as she can. That’s not an option right now as a) we can’t afford it on top of full time daycare, b) logistically it would be too difficult to arrange and c) We don’t think she could handle the stress of daycare + preschool, or at least it would be hard on her. But she is a bright, very verbal kid, who although slow to warm up, once warmed up thrives.

In April, she will turn 3, we will all be home together with new tiny babe, and we are re-considering the preschool option. We have a lovely local coop preschool that has spaces right now and would probably take her from April-June. We could send her either 2 or 3 days per week. We are considering enrolling her for 2 days per week April-June. As I’ve said she’s keen, it’s great, affordable, and local & very convenient. We already know some families there.

But I have many doubts, including:
-is it worth going through all the adjustment of sending her for just 3 months (the preschool closes for July & Aug)? We could wait and start her in Sept. at 3.5.
-Is this going to be WAY too much for her, ending daycare, starting preschool and becoming a big sister all at the same time? Or will it provide her with a nice break…and some routine & structure in what will definitely be a somewhat disruptive time….?

Any advice appreciated ! thank you

[lindberg99]

I think I would wait until September.

[peaceful_mama]

I'm in the same situation basically! My issue is I am considering starting DS in public preschool, location dependent on where you live, and we will be moving in the spring. So then, the obvious to me is to wait and see where we live, but then if we move in say March, and we have the stress of moving, plus then start preschool and it gets out 3rd week of May and reopens end of august.....

even if he could stay at the same location I am just not sure about it with the move....watching this thread.

in your situation......hmmm.......I had my baby in the middle of winter last year and I would've loved to have DS in preschool a couple days a week just for something for him to do, but he wasn't 3. The other end of that is germs with a newborn.
However, if she is EXCITED about it.......I say I would probably jump on that excitement and start her, she will remember it and everything even after 2 months, so she should be OK separation wise and stuff in September, maybe a little hard at first readjusting to routine. my 3 year old remembers things from that long ago.
if you wait, the excitement may dissipate and it may be harder later? depends on how important it is to all of you that she go......

[proudmamanow]

thanks for the input on this from way back in November! I am reopening this thread because we are confronting this decision right now. Coop preschool called us in January and offered us a spot for dd. DCP wants her out by the end of Feb. and we could start her at the beginning of March (babe due at end of March). She seems keen, though I don't think she fully grasps exactly what it is. I am very enthusiastic about this place still. We will all go for a tour on Thurs. morning to get a better idea.

As I see it:
Positives:
-something special and social for almost 3 year old dd to do.
-she wants to go to school and has been talking about it for ages
-a bit of a break for dw & I to have time with just the new baby (she would go 2 mornings per week from 9-11:30)
-good to start a bit earlier than new babe so it's not all happening at once.
-very affordable

Negatives:
-too many transitions, too much stress for dd
-germs esp. with newborn
-we are likely moving over the summer and so she would likely have to start a new school in September
-once we enroll her we are committed to paying until the end of June (not a lot of money, but it would be a drag to pay for something she is not doing).
-a co-op, so some fairly serious demands on at least one parent.

So any further input? I'll post again after we visit on Thursday when I can get a sense of what dd thinks & how we liked it.

[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by proudmamanow

Is this going to be WAY too much for her, ending daycare, starting preschool and becoming a big sister all at the same time? Or will it provide her with a nice break…and some routine & structure in what will definitely be a somewhat disruptive time….?

I can't answer your other question but in my experience, having lived in two countries where universal preschool starts at age three (five days a week at that) and having witnessed so many children start around when a new sibling arrives, I can say that not only will it not be too much, it will likely be a positive thing for her.

Preschool gives the child something that is her own at a time when so much attention is being given to a new baby. It is what makes her unique within the family unit. Baby is still little and cannot go to preschool. She can. And it gives her something to enjoy while attention is focused on the newborn. Putting her in a good preschool 3 (or more) mornings a week will be positive for her AND you.

[proudmamanow]

Thanks for this RomanGoddess. Based on this and on helpful IRL input from another mom of 2, we are going ahead! The orientation on Thurs. morning was great...we love the place as does dd. In fact dd didn't want to leave and asked that next time she be allowed to "go by herself"...too funny, and very good from a kid who's not usually so independent. So she will start at the beginning of March. There's a spot in mid-Feb, but she found the mid-day transition from preschool back to daycare really hard & we don't see the point in forcing that stress when we can wait two weeks until she'll be home full time.
Very pleased with this sup --here's hoping it all goes well from here...

[Flor]

Is your older child still bfing? Just asking because last winter when ds was 3.5 and still nursing, he NEVER got sick at preschool. I thought they were just especially clean! This is our first winter without breastmilk and he has been sick SOOO MANY TIMES it is driving me crazy. . . . . .