My uncle is dying - Upd. #9: He's gone

[Mrs-Mama]

Hope it's appropriate to post this here:

My 80-year old uncle (well, great-uncle) is dying He was diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago but now is having multiple problems (both related and not), and he is experiencing kidney failure. The drs. have given him 2 weeks to 1 year (depending on whether or not his kidneys start functioning again).

My mom says that he is well aware of visitors, etc, but is very, very weak and irritable and short-tempered when help is not readily available. He also kinda nods in and out of sleeping, even mid-sentence.

I know this is terrible (pls no flames), but I'm trying to decide whether to go visit him or not. I know he would love to see me and DS, but we would only be able to stay 5 minutes because of DS being a squirmy, busy 20-month old. I kinda don't want to see him that way, but is that fair? Not to him : I think I would feel more comfortable if he was in a nursing home/hospice facility than in the hospital room...don't know why that is, though. I don't want to hate myself if I don't go visit him and he ends up only having weeks, ya know?

Ugh. This is so hard. I guess I'm mostly venting, here, but if anyone has advice, I welcome it.

[binkin]

I'm sorry, I wish I had some advice, but I don't... I know how you feel though. My mom is dying and I am two states away and can't get there right away and I'm afraid to go, anyway, I don't want to see her unconscious and hooked up to machines. I hope we can both figure something out.

[rachelle-a-tron]

Im sorry Mama...

I don't really have any advice for you though. Do what your heart tells you is right.

[annethcz]

I'm so sorry. My uncle is also dying of prostate cancer. I do see him whenever possible, because I am very aware that time is limited.

[Mrs-Mama]

I did decide to go see him last week. He is very weak, but his eyes lit up when he was watching DS. He is being moved to a nursing home today, but it sounds like he has somewhere between days and 2 months The cancer has taken over just about everywhere now.

I wish him a peaceful end

[aaronsmom]

[Mrs-Mama]

He's showing signs of the very end now. The hospice nurse thinks it's just a matter of time. He's starting to see some of our already-passed relatives like his mother. I think he's really ready now.

I took DS to see him again the other day. He seemed so happy to watch him running around. DS always wants kisses now, so I lifted him up my uncle planted one right on top of his head...so sweet.

I wonder if I'll see him again. I really don't know if I can go again. I don't want to sit there and cry. Maybe I'll go tomorrow.

[uumomma]

:

[Mrs-Mama]

He's gone

My uncle is in Heaven now. I'm relieved that he's no longer suffering. He's at peace. But, it's still sad for the rest of us. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

The last time we saw him was on Thursday. My mom called today to let me know that it was close. By the time I got there, he was gone. He had been unconscious all day. He slipped peacefully away.

I'm sad for my grandmother, especially. But, she seems to be doing ok so far.

[babygrant]

I'm so sorry your uncle is gone. It sounds like he really loved your ds and you gave him some very precious memories in his last few days being earthbound.

[Marcee]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[rachelle-a-tron]

Im sorry Mama...

Wishing your Family peace & strength.

Love to you & yours.

[aaronsmom]

[MillingNome]