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Emotional rambelings from a crazy pregnant lady... - Page 5

post #81 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
Pretty good.

A bit more resolved. Had a long talk with Randy about all this...I love him. It went really well. Having a lot of support really helps.

UC it is, with a MW on reserve. It feels right. I can't do any more than this & have to accept that I guess. It'll all be good.
Good! Seems like a good plan for you. Would type more but holding sleeping baby. Oh, when are you due? Spring?
post #82 of 96
Thread Starter 
April first...so probably sometime mid-May!
post #83 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
April first...so probably sometime mid-May!
Well, at least you're prepared for going past your edd! I was not. I was ready to c/s myself when he was finally born! :
post #84 of 96
i'm really concerned for the safety of those choosing unassisted c-sectons. . .

lol.

can i please be due in sept? please? we ttc this cycle.
post #85 of 96
Thread Starter 
Yes, I'd also like to go on record as saying a do it yourself c-section is very risky. Please, do not try that at home! We have very skilled surgeons MORE than willing to take that on!

If anyone's still reading --- I have my actual midwife interview today, what are some good questions for someone in my situation?
post #86 of 96
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post

can i please be due in sept? please? we ttc this cycle.
Good luck! I was born in Sept. - good month!
post #87 of 96
well, here's what i'm asking when i go:

i am really interested in UCing, are you willing to be back up care for me?

if you're willing to be back up care for me, what do you see as my obligations to you?

and then there's the list of what i want to know about exams, process, who she is, which hospitals she's connected to, etc.

and, my husband is hoping for sept 5. he's so cute. that's the day our rabbit died this year. our rabbit was our baby and our grandfather all at once. anyway, he died on sept 5, and Dh thinks that if the baby is born around the same time or on the same day, it's probably a reincarnation of our rabbit.

of course, our friend did a puja for us so that the rabbit would be reincarnated with us, and according to him, the birthday doesn't matter.
post #88 of 96
Thread Starter 
I don't want any prenatal *anything.* That's already understood. She is there for if I decide I need/want her. That's why I can't really think of all that many questions!

My BDay is 9/9.
post #89 of 96
i think the main question is if she'd be ok with that. she may not, you know?

i don't know these two women that i'm interviewing, and i want 2 PNC appointments just to get the incentives from my health insurance company (otherwise, i wouldn't do it). they "require" one in the first and one in the second trimesters. i figure that i'll just meet with her and tell her i'm feeling good--that's all i want, really, is documentation that i had an appointment for PNC to get the $1000 from the insurance company.
post #90 of 96
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
i think the main question is if she'd be ok with that. she may not, you know?

She is. That was understood upfront or I wouldn't even be bothering w/ her.
post #91 of 96
I saw this over in Birth Professionals....

I read through the whole thread. It sounds like things are resolving nicely for you!

Just wanted to share something with you:

My MIL had 4 sections. The first was a breech and then once a section, always a section. She VBACd with her 5th. It was very hard for her. She had never experienced labor at all. It was a hospital birth etc. She went on to have 5 more vaginal home births. (10 total.) Her best one was her ninth baby. Her 5th vaginal. She wasn't comfortable with the midwives and sent them away. She got in the bathtub and had the baby very shortly after. It was by far her best birth. She also didn't have a very good mentality about birth (speaks very negatively about it, thinks it's the worst thing in the word, feels like she's dying etc.) I just think it's interesting that her best birth was the one where she sent the mws away and did it herself. Purely anecdotal, but maybe a little reassuring that it has been done before quite successfully!

Also, thank you all for your insight on what you like in mws. I hope that I can be the kind of mw you have described - that I will truly be "with women" and not a hindrance.

Best wishes for the rest of your pg and for a beautiful healing birth for you!
post #92 of 96
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cfiddlinmama View Post
I saw this over in Birth Professionals....

I read through the whole thread. It sounds like things are resolving nicely for you!

Just wanted to share something with you:

My MIL had 4 sections. The first was a breech and then once a section, always a section. She VBACd with her 5th. It was very hard for her. She had never experienced labor at all. It was a hospital birth etc. She went on to have 5 more vaginal home births. (10 total.) Her best one was her ninth baby. Her 5th vaginal. She wasn't comfortable with the midwives and sent them away. She got in the bathtub and had the baby very shortly after. It was by far her best birth. She also didn't have a very good mentality about birth (speaks very negatively about it, thinks it's the worst thing in the word, feels like she's dying etc.) I just think it's interesting that her best birth was the one where she sent the mws away and did it herself. Purely anecdotal, but maybe a little reassuring that it has been done before quite successfully!

Also, thank you all for your insight on what you like in mws. I hope that I can be the kind of mw you have described - that I will truly be "with women" and not a hindrance.

Best wishes for the rest of your pg and for a beautiful healing birth for you!

Thanks! I still feel having anyone there will be a hinderence. That has nothing to do with her & everything to do with me, it's just who/how I am. I am hoping for smooth sailing & not needing to even call. But in the risk analysis I HAVE to have someone willing to come fast if need be. I just really really think if I have her there for the heck of it the whole thing will go kaput. I guess I'm just not a social birther! She's like an insurance policy, and I am so overwhelmingly grateful that she is ok with that!
post #93 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaspar View Post
what a midwife can do that you can't: [...]
our midwife appointments lasted a good 45 minutes to an hour each time... lots of time to ask every question that popped into our heads [...]
my husband (who suggested uc... just after we got to the hospital when we were alone for a moment between contractions good timing honey!) would probably have fainted if the midwives weren't there with their calm and competent demeanour filling the room. [...] i had a bit of tearing, they stitched me up. maybe you *could* do that yourself? i don't have the flexibility or the nerve though! [...]they cleaned up [...] my bag of waters never broke - i pushed for a while and finally they said "you know, if we popped your bag, the baby will have room to drop and it will probably go more quickly." there was no pressure from them at all to do it, but i was happy to make things go more quickly at that point! lo was born just a couple of pushes later. maybe you could do that yourself, though? [...] they gave me a shot to help push out the placenta - and honestly, i don't think i would have had the energy otherwise! [...] i had a really easy birth, but just a minute before he was born lo's heartrate dropped, and when he was born the cord was already kaput. i have often wondered... could something have happened? was that no big deal, or were we really lucky? i guess we'll never know, but i'm glad i had two pros around just in case there had been issues. [...] anyway, those were the things that midwives did for me that i couldn't do for myself.
From a UC perspective some of these things are not necessarily issues.

-I definitely found it valuable to have sources I could go to for information, and a midwife can be an excellent source for that, but there are also other ways to find that information, and midwives are not infallible.

-A lot of UCers have found that their husbands who were previously nervous wrecks in their attended births were like totally different people at their UCs. For some men, the clinical/professional element is quite intimidating and stressful. With my husband, the difference was dramatic.

-Small tears are sometimes best left to heal on their own without stitching. For deep tears, some use medical grade superglue. Some midwives don't do stitching for very bad tears or at all and refer you to a doctor anyway. I'll grant you though that I'd rather have a trusted, skilled midwife do the stitching than a doctor.

-Intervention in the hopes of making things go easier or quicker is certainly one reason people hire midwives. I personally wouldn't break my own bag of waters, but I wouldn't want a midwife to do it either.

-It can be hard to push out the placenta when you've just had the baby. With my first I was so tired and couldn't believe the midwife wanted me to push right away again! I joked, "can't you just do it for me?" (She didn't think it was funny.) I just wanted to fall back on the bed and relax. Birth attendants often start getting antsy if the placenta isn't out immediately so they want you to work on getting it out at a certain specified time, like you're supposed to work on getting the baby out at a a certain specified time. But neither is normally necessary and just exhausts the mother. To direct and/or induce third stage can even be counterproductive and be the cause of complications. For my other three I did relax fully after the birth. I took my time. And at some point (I believe when the placenta detached) I became physically restless and my consciousness shifted from the baby to dealing with the placenta. My body prepared me hormonally for that so it wasn't some big effort -- it was just what I felt like doing -- but it needed time to do that. Most women don't experience that because they're told to push the placenta out before their bodies are really ready for that stage to be over.

-One reason women have professional attendants present is to deal with natural complications. One women don't have professional attendants present is to prevent iatrogenic complications. They're both valid concerns.
post #94 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
i'm really concerned for the safety of those choosing unassisted c-sectons. . .

lol.

can i please be due in sept? please? we ttc this cycle.
Careful now with that unsupportive attitude

Sorry - couldnt help myself :

Great to hear that you have a supportive midwife as backup. At least to me that was a great assurence knowing that I could call if I needed it without any judgemental attitude in return for having attempted UC. Eventually I did need her help and did call and she was wonderful about everything.
Im happy to hear you feel better about everything
post #95 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
i'm really concerned for the safety of those choosing unassisted c-sectons. . .

lol.
post #96 of 96









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