To preschool or not to preschool, that is the question

[peaceful_mama]

So I got DS screened for public preschool here. I've worked for the program and liked it. It is 4 half days a week though and you don't get choice in which section your kid attends, am or pm.

DH is in favor of starting as soon as he can.

I am waiting to hear about his eval, there is one program if he qualifies there is no waiting list. (special ed/dev. delay which I don't *really* think he will but they did do the extended eval, mostly I think he just didn't react well to the rapid-fire questioning the first lady did. He did well on the second longer eval from what I was hearing.) The big advantage is if he qualifies for that, they HAVE to take him and I have a lot more say like if I only want to bring him 2 days a week there really isn't much they can do about it. (I worked for that program, they *have* to keep their spot.)

He is 3, just turned in Oct. He won't go to kindergarten till 2010. So he has 3 years.

I don't like the idea of him gone 4 mornings a week if I could get mornings and then a nap and when would I spend time with him?? I don't want to send him if he has to go in the afternoon, he still needs a nap.

The big upside I'm seeing to preschool is it will soon be winter, we have no yard, I have the baby--preschool provides some out-of-house, outdoor time which my high-energy active kid desperately NEEDS.

What to do??

[lindberg99]

My son is in the public preschool here and I am amazed by what a good program it is. He has just loved it and I would recommend it to anyone. A lot of people around here don't know about it or think it is just for kids with a speech or other delay. I keep trying to spread the word that it is for anyone (provided there is enough space) and that these programs need paying kids to keep their enrollments up and keep funding.

About spending time with him, I work at home so my son goes to the public preschool 4 mornings a week and then also goes to a private one two afternoons a week. I still feel like I see a lot of him.

What time is the afternoon class? Maybe he could nap after??

I can see you being hesitant about sending him 4 days a week. Is he your oldest? I'm not sure if I could have done it with my oldest! But if your program is as good as ours, it really will be great for your son.

[kmeyrick]

So far research has been so overwhelmingly in favor of preschool that many states want it publicly funded, whereas in most areas it is not. I would say send your son there. It sounds like the positives are outweighing the negatives here.

[peaceful_mama]

In the school I worked in, morning preschool was 9:05 to 11:55, afternoon 12:45 to 3:30. (Prime nap hours in our house that work well with bedtime are like 1:30-3. He can go a day or two without, but he's not ready to give it up entirely. The only time he was sick this summer is when we were really busy for a week or so and he kept getting either no nap or only like half an hour--after a few days it totally screwed with his whole sleep schedule, I started seeing night terror problems, and he got sick. That's when I got vigilant about preserving naptime, or at least a quiet "don't *have* to sleep" time--that 9 times out of 10 results in him falling asleep, which tells me he still NEEDS it.) Then there's the up to an hour on the bus each way, which I don't like. (Parents can also do pickup/dropoff, so it's not *that* big a deal really)

I don't like the idea of being on the bus in part because it's up to two hours more 'away' and because I don't think at this point he could tell me if anything 'bad' was going on. (Not that I'm thinking HORROR STORY, I'm just thinking the driver is driving, maybe the bus EA is working with someone else and doesn't see the kid next to my son picking on him, hitting him, whatever. Typical stuff, but I don't like the idea of him not being able to tell me about it.)

Yes, he is my oldest. And he JUST TURNED 3. This is fall 2007, he won't go to kindergarten till fall 2010. I think I wouldn't be questioning it so much if I had the option of sending him just 2 days a week for this year.

Then again, I may hear back that he has to be on the HeadStart waiting list, which will then result in him probably not getting in until at least next fall, when he will be about a month from turning 4 when school starts.

I'm worried he won't do well with a lot of forced sit-down-and-do-this circle and table activities too, and I don't want him labeled as somebody with an "attention problem" or anything like that when it probably is that he is a typical, active 3 year old boy. I feel strongly that if he's pushed and it doesn't go well, it will likely result in him thinking he *can't* do it, rebelling, and creating a problem that would not exist if he was allowed to "grow into" those activities.

Of course, he may totally surprise me and do extremely well in that environment with different people and with the influence of seeing the other kids have fun doing whatever it is.

My other thing is we're moving this spring. Here, your public school preschool attendance center is based on where you live. I don't want to start him, have him just get used to one teacher, building, group of kids, set of rules, routine......and then switch him, have just enough time to get used to that, and then it's summer. And I wonder if there's any point to starting in say March and then it's summer.

And then moving *and* school it seems like a lot to get used to...we are living in the only place DS remembers as "home" now....

I think I am answering my own question, that I should only have him start in school this year if he will not have to switch schools with our move. (that's another thing, it would be easier to have him in school when I'm packing and stuff....but that is a minor detail, I'm sure I could work out some sort of trade-off with a friend or something for child care, that alone is not a reason to send him.)
OTOH--if he got to stay in the same place, it would be a sort of "stability" provided he got adjusted to it well before the actual move, and I would have the bonus of being able to pack and unpack while he's in school.

but I do notice he does a lot better playing with kids he knows, at playgroup he gets a little possessive and stuff with the group of kids he doesn't know (It's a city open gym with toddler toys) He is really starting to share with his sister and sort of with little friends we know....the funny thing is it seems like the more I've taken him to playgroup and talked about it, I'm not seeing the sharing happen with the kids he doesn't know, but I *am* seeing it at home.

I just don't know if he's ready.......for formal sit-down 'schooltime' stuff, for a big group of kids he doesn't know (but who will become friends because he'll see them more than the random playgroup kids)

and there's the point of me being able to be involved in his classroom, maybe when DD is a little older a morning a week would be possible, for now, it's not. (but staying a bit when I drop him off might be)
I really want to know what's going on, who his friends are, I want to SEE it not what I'm being told......

(I'm the type who has my kids on the list for the charter that requires a half day a week of parent time in the classroom per kid. I WANT to know.)