Talking to circ'd DH about it....

[njbeachgirl]

My DH is circ'd and I do not want to circumcise my baby, if it is a boy. In fact, I WILL not. It's a non-negotiable issue for me.

I'm not sure how strong his feelings are on the topic. He is learning about AP/NFL stuff but always through me. He doesn't do his own research. He probably still believes that circ "is cleaner", girls prefer it, doesn't hurt the baby, boys should look like dad, etc. All the lies most people believe. One time a while ago I mentioned that I do not believe in circumcision and he seemed surprised but didn't press the subject.

I'm not sure when to bring it up to him, or how. I don't want him to think I don't like they way HE looks... It's just that I would never inflict that kind of a violation on my own son. I did leave some pamphlets laying around near the computer.

If anyone has been in a similar situation I could really use some help. I don't want him to feel bad that he will probably be the only one of his friends with an intact son (as far as I know).... I want him to feel GOOD about the fact that he is not exposing his child to cosmetic surgery!

[mrstripp]

My husband was pro-circ and since we were TTC or PG at the time of this discussion, I didn't press the issue. As soon as we found out we were expecting I started gradually bringing it up; asking his reasons why (he had heard it was cleaner, he is, etc...) I printed off some information and statistics and he quickly came over to my side. I think alot of times people are pro-circ simply because it is the "norm" and they are not informed otherwise. GOOD LUCK!!

[nd_deadhead]

He might surprise you. My DH is circumcised, and as far as we knew, so was every guy we knew. Yet when we found out we were having twin boys, he had no interest in having them circumcised. We both felt that it was a social custom that we did not feel obligated to perpetuate.

This was almost 14 years ago - pre-Internet. We had no idea this was a controversial topic! Our sons are now 13 years old, and very glad that they still have their foreskins.

We were visiting my boss and his wife in the hospital when they had a baby boy, and while we were there, the doctor came in to take the baby away for his circumcision. DH and I stayed with the couple for a few more minutes (neither of them seemed interested in accompanying their son), then we left. On the way out, we walked past the nursery, and could hear a baby screaming - not crying, but screaming. When we peeked in, we saw the same doctor leaning over the screaming baby. 5 minutes earlier this baby had been awake, alert, and contentedly gurgling in his mother's arms. DH and I left the hospital in tears, grateful that our own precious babies had never been through such an ordeal.

Most guys come around eventually, if treated gently. Good luck.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

When I was pregnant, it didn't even occur to me that dh might want to have our son circed. He is, but in Canada, the rates have been dropping since the 70's. It's just not something that's done much anymore.

Anyway we were at one of our prenaital apointments with our midwife and she brought up circ, asked if we were considering it. I responded something like "Why would we want to do that!?!?!"

Later I found out that dh was surprised at my reaction but didn't want to cross the pregnant lady.

Anyway, some things to think about when you aproch him

http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/v...ty_of_men.html

[smeisnotapirate]

I had these same fears, as my DH is circed too and so is everyone we know.

I went in to DH, just feeling him out, and said "hey, I read this article on circumcision" and he looked up at me and said:

"I don't care what the article is about. It's useless and cruel, and I won't be doing it to our kids. I'll read your article, but don't expect me to change my mind."

I cracked up. He may surprise you. It surprised him that his Jewish wife then handed him an article on intactivism. We both had a good laugh.

I think an article that's not too preachy is a good way to feel guys out. Worked in my case!

[pacificbliss]

I agree, he may surprise you. I had not done any research but circ just didn't seem right to me. I asked DH, who is circd, what he thought and he said it seemed like an unnecessary procedure to him.