Originally Posted by abimommy
Do you think she would be comfortable putting her toy into your bag or coat pocket or something during playtime?
But, see that doesn't really solve my bigger problem. 1) I'm not sure I can predict when this stuff is going to happen. 2) It's happened with other things (I talked about a game and a tricycle). 3) He's doing it mainly/only with my kiddo (which is probably heightening her panicked response). 4) Irregardless of what it was over, the issue I have is with the response of the mother--a GD solution at all costs for her son at the expense of the GD needs of another child.
I will give you another example, which I think really illustrates what I'm bristling over. My DD was on a tricycle. It was his tricycle. But the agreement in our community is that if the tricycles are on a terrace area, everyone is allowed to use them. So, she gets on it thinking it's ok. He sees her on his tricycle, he pushes her off and rides off. She's crying, and the mother is explaining to her that it's his tricyle, she can use it another time, that he seems to have a need to use it at that moment.
Honoring his need, which I completely understand. But, then my DD's need is not honored when it is reversed. So, I'm basically teaching my child that a need is more likely to be honored when it is forcefully asserted (back to BellinghamCrunchie's point up on page 1 or something--she dropped it, it's fair game, toddler law, you have to move fast). I believe by going along with all this, I'm teaching my child that if something is snatched/held physically from her, that need is more likely to be honored. The bigger (in size if not age), more assertive child is more likely to have their needs honored.
So, I'm all for GD, I really really am. I'm just struggling with this.