I think that whether Santa is a lie or not depends on how you do it. If your child clearly doesn't believe in Santa and you try to convince him that there is a Santa, that's obviously lying. If you're trying to protect younger children, there's no reason that you can't explain that to your non-believer--that's what my parents did with me and I never ruined it for my sister, even though they were honest about Santa not being real.
I also think that a lot of times when kids ask whether Santa is real, they're not necessarily asking for the black-and-white truth, but for permission to believe in Santa. I remember having my suspicions, but still *wanting* to believe, and I was grateful that my parents let me and didn't ruin the fun. When I felt ready to let go of Santa, I did, and they accepted that. In that sort of situation, I think it's much kinder to respond with "I don't know, what do you think?" than "No, there's no Santa," especially if your child is on the younger side. Sometimes, playing along can be a gift.
It's our responsibility as parents to foster a sense of wonder and joy. I shudder to think of what the world would be like if it were filled with people who had no sense of magic, imagination, and creativity. Done the right way, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, unicorns, whatever, they all lay the foundation for years to come. Clearly, it's also our job to create that same wonder and amazement at 'real' things, and I think that they augment and reinforce each other. Playing along with Santa doesn't mean you're neglecting the power of the natural world. I'd rather have my children grow up surrounded by magic, and have them be able to draw upon those memories later in life.
In our house, we don't do the creepier aspects of Santa--the 'watching you sleep' and the bribery for good behavior. But we act as if Santa were a real person because, really, we're all Santa. And that will be explained to my children when they're ready to move on.
I also think that a lot of times when kids ask whether Santa is real, they're not necessarily asking for the black-and-white truth, but for permission to believe in Santa. I remember having my suspicions, but still *wanting* to believe, and I was grateful that my parents let me and didn't ruin the fun. When I felt ready to let go of Santa, I did, and they accepted that. In that sort of situation, I think it's much kinder to respond with "I don't know, what do you think?" than "No, there's no Santa," especially if your child is on the younger side. Sometimes, playing along can be a gift.
It's our responsibility as parents to foster a sense of wonder and joy. I shudder to think of what the world would be like if it were filled with people who had no sense of magic, imagination, and creativity. Done the right way, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, unicorns, whatever, they all lay the foundation for years to come. Clearly, it's also our job to create that same wonder and amazement at 'real' things, and I think that they augment and reinforce each other. Playing along with Santa doesn't mean you're neglecting the power of the natural world. I'd rather have my children grow up surrounded by magic, and have them be able to draw upon those memories later in life.
In our house, we don't do the creepier aspects of Santa--the 'watching you sleep' and the bribery for good behavior. But we act as if Santa were a real person because, really, we're all Santa. And that will be explained to my children when they're ready to move on.
I love this. Thank you! 
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Just my ???'s and thoughts...
