self-feeding/baby-led weaning support thread... - Page 12

[ssharon]

We have tried several foods lately. We tried oatmeal this morning and all she did was keep gagging on it so I took it away. I also gave her a peach half and she got the skin lodged in her throat pretty well--I can't handle the panic of wondering if she is going to choke so I took the skin off and will continue to do that for now. We also tried rice cakes and she didn't really like them and they broke off into pieces quite a bit so I am a little worried about choking.

[ssharon]

Oh also I made some homemade teething biscuits--they are basically all sugar (carbs), but she really liked them and did really well with them. And I gave her some mango "ice cream"--frozen mangoes blended to ice cream consistency.

[ssharon]

She has been breaking out a little on her face ever since I started solids. It has been really cold here so I am not sure if it has to do with the weather and her little exposure to it or if it is a reaction to one of the foods. Has anyone ever experienced this?

[CanidFL]

Hello,

DS is 5 months and only recently I've started thinking about self feeding. DH and I are both on board with this and agree that we will start as soon as he is 6 months and can sit unsupported.

Ok here is my question. My in laws are pretty annoyed that we aren't giving DS any food yet. (surprise surprise ) So whenever they try to give him something to eat I just keep saying "at 6 months". Well now it is getting close and I'm panicking because he might not even be ready at 6 months. I know for sure that as soon as he is 6 months they will all try to shove food into his mouth (they have already tried this while he is in his sling). So how do you handle this? I am a firm believer that if you let babies pick up the food and try to eat it that they won't choke or overeat. If they can't physically get the food in their mouth then there is no risk right? I also don't want them feeding him things that I still feel are inappropriate for his age.

I don't want to cause a fight but I don't want to give a 5 min explanation of why we are doing things this way. They just won't get it and I again will be the "weird mom".

Any suggestions on how to quickly explain what we are doing without hurting feelings and causing a scene?

Thanks

[Twinklefae]

Well, I'm in the same boat. DS just turned 5 months and we're having the countdown to 6 months. Everyone is so excited about feeding him. So I've been finding alternatives. They love to give him sips of water out of a glass. Or off a spoon. (DS is DESPERATE to eat.) Let them give him a mesh feeder with a breastmilk popsicle in it.

Really, I enjoy being the "weird" mom. It means that everyone asks before they do ANYTHING. I let everyone know that I will be upset if they don't, and will talk their ears off about why we do things the way we do.

I also find it helpful to talk as though they agree with you. You know "of course will be nursing long term, I mean with the WHO recommending until at least two, what else would we do?"

"It just doesn't make any sense to feed them, when we want them to gain more independence." That kind of thing.

HTH!

[ssharon]

I don't have any good suggestions because I usually just say this is the way we are doing things. I also feel that this is my child, not theirs so what I say goes. I do a lot of research so I often back up what I say with what I know from my research. That could be a way to address it--explain that you are relying on a resource that says to do it this way. Or blame it on your ped--say this is what they have recommended and you feel very confident in them.

Good luck. Those outside influences can be tough to deal with.

Is this your first baby? Believe me, it usually gets better after the first. They back off because 1) they know this is the way it is now (people learn eventually) and 2) they figure the 1st one is doing ok so you must know what you are doing. I don't know if that is what they really are thinking, but it appears to be.

[ssharon]

When did you all start cottage cheese, yogurt or egg yolks? I know the traditional resources say they can have these before a year, but closer to a year and she is only 6 mo.

[Ubelle]

To combat the in-laws and my parents from feeding DD unwanted foods we have stressed that we are taking solids slowly, and that she is to only eat foods that we supply for her, we also plan on extending that rule to include only eating off our plates, when we get there - that way we know what she is getting. So far it has her, but my nephew (their 1 st grandchild) is only 5 months old and my sis has different rules - so I understnad helping them remember ours. My In-laws haven't tried to feed her yet, they have asked to feed her inappropriate foods (cookies) and they joke that one day she can have them but so far it's working out ok.

DD is 9.5 months old and we just gave yogurt for the first time last night, it's the first dairy she's had, we haven't done eggs yet just because I am confused about when we can start - seems like we could introduce yolks now, but then some say to wait until 1 yr.

Speaking of the yogurt, last night was the first time DD has ever been spoon fed in the traditional way, we have always loaded her spoons and handed them to her for her to eat off, it works for cereals we make, applesauce (although she preferes to eat that with her hands) and anything else that is more creamy/ mashed in texture. So last night we try the yogurt for the first time and I load the spoon and hold it out for her, waiting for her to take it and do whatever - but no she just leaned forward and opened her mouth and waited for me to spoon it in, so I started holding the spoons closer to her and she would lean over and eat of the spoon, while I held it. about 1.4 of the time she took the spoon and did it herself. I was very confused but she seemed happy enough, maybe frustrated that I wasn't catching on.

She does go to daycare where 6 other babies are spoon fed purees or their food for the most part (there are a few her age that get some finger foods) but Daycare never spoon feeds (they know it goes agains our wishes) and she rarely gets spoonable foods there) Did DD learn this from watching the other babies? I told her I have no problem holding the spoon but I still waited for her to want the food (does that make sense?)

[tankgirl73]

DD has never been to daycare or 'hung out' with other babies eating, so she hasn't picked up any habits from other babies.

She also sometimes eats off our spooning rather than taking it herself. I think it's all just part of the 'experimentation' that they are doing. Trying out different ways of doing things. Like sometimes she has only wanted her food 'whole' for her to pick up and bite pieces off, and other times she only wants it already cut up into bite-sized pieces.

I know when DH gives her yogurt, he spoon-feeds the first few bites just to "make sure SOME of it gets into her" then lets her go at the rest on her own lol... He's not really concerned about her getting solid food into her, lest it sound that way -- it does seem to help 'jump start' her, rather than just playing with it the whole time it seems to help her realize "oh this is FOOD" and she'll eat more on her own...

Less and less so now that she's older, of course, this was more when she was about your DD's age.

Anyway, I wouldn't be too concerned about your DD leaning out to eat off the spoon... DD has done this for months, but still ate with her own spoon much of the time too. And now she eats with the spoon herself -- scooping and controlling the whole thing, rather than us pre-filling it for her. And she even eats with a FORK too, which is way cool.

Eggs -- I know there's different advice out there, but we gave DD eggs (whole eggs) quite early. She had no reaction and enjoys them a lot. Scrambled and omelets are her favourites.

[babyluvr]

we have introduced some dairy recently...maybe starting around 9months, and egg yolks around the same time. now at 10.5 months he eats things with egg in it sometimes (like muffins) but not much.

i have also recently offered ds some food on my spoon and he has eaten it as if he was always spoon fed too! he doesn't have much interest in self spoon feeding, textures are much to fun to miss out by using a spoon.

[Maela]

I have had the same problem/worries with in-laws. So far they haven't actually given her anything because I always say no when they ask.
Yesterday I made a point of saying "So far she's only had good nutritious whole foods like avocados, squash, bananas, ...and we're hoping to continue that for a long time." in front of my MIL. Hopefully she'll want to be a part of that healthy eating. However I have seen them give my nephew (1yo) cheetos and cookies behind his moms back, so...:

[tankgirl73]

(ignore)

[Tizzi]

My DD is almost 9 months, and is showing no interest whatsoever in eating solids. We've been offering various purees and finger foods, both fruit and veg, and she hasn't eaten a bite so far. I've also made up some baby rice with EBM, so that she could explore texture without the food tasting unfamiliar, and she hated that too.

She explores the food we offer - I always offer part of it as a puree and part as finger food, so that she can both squidge the food around and also pick it up. She'll put it to her mouth, but as soon as it touches her lips and she gets a hint of the flavour, she's pretty revolted, really gags and drops the food. She's never, ever put any food of any sort into her mouth, only up to her lips.

She's meeting all her developmental milestones, she mouths her toys, has 4 teeth (but isn't teething at present), and is interested in watching us eat. She's exclusively BF, and is gaining weight beautifully. She's really active, inquisitive and is great fun.

But, and here's where I'd love some support from other mamas, I'm getting no end of grief from family, friends and health professionals about how she should be eating by now, and how we'll 'miss the window of opportunity' and she'll have an eating disorder, and how I should 'make her eat so she sees what she's missing'. I can't even leave her with my mother, as she's desperate to get DD to eat and is convinced that she'll succeed where I've failed, and I'm worried she'll 'make her eat' against her will.

I'm keeping it low key at the moment. I refuse to 'force' her to eat, and am just viewing it as a time of exploration for her. I don't want to make eating an issue, and she's thriving on breast milk. But I can't go anywhere or see anyone now without being made to feel like a failure or a freak. And it's knocking my confidence a bit.

Please tell me I'm not permanently damaging my daughter by going at her pace, and that she will eventually eat at some point!

Thank you very much!

[Arwyn]

Not really appropos of anything, much less the current discussion, but Naked Baby just found the wraped up loaf of Rosemary Basil Olive Oil bread, pulled it off the table, opened it up, pulled out the loaf, and is alternately gnawing on it and picking little bits off to eat. :

[Arwyn]

You are NOT damaging your daughter, and she WILL eat at some point!



9mo is not that old to still be exclusively breastfed. If she gets much over a year (like 18mo) and still isn't interested, or if she stops growing/developing, then I'd maybe consider getting an evaluation for sensory issues or something like that, but 9mo? No way! 9mo is totally in the realm of normal to not want solids yet. Yay you for respecting her pace!

[Tizzi]

Thank you!!! It's so nice to hear a supportive response.

I've been feeling a bit low about it, especially as I went to the BF drop in clinic last week for a BF issue and ended up being lectured about the whole weaning 'issue' from five different BF specialists, one after the other. I didn't even mention weaning to them, I wanted to discusss BF, but because DD's past 7 months and not weaning, that was all they wanted to talk to me about. So, that's when my confidence hit an all-time low.

I only want to do my best for my daughter, and I felt like I was doing the right things, until then. But if enough people tell you often enough that you're not doing the right things.... you know? :

[Ubelle]

I agree with a past poster your LO will eat when they are ready.

I hear about the window of opportunity alot - not sure why since I have a voracious eater (think vacumn cleaner) but at daycare the teachers were discussing it (this was more in depth than just throwing the phrase out) It seemed to me from the coversation that the window of opportunity pertians more to introducing textures - if a baby eats only purees until xxx age then they seem put off by any textured food. I have no idea if this is true or not, and Iwonder if it would apply even more so to those babies that start getting spoon fed at earlier ages (2, 3 or 4 mo)

But I think when you follow BLW that 1 you are letting your child guide you (how can that be wrong) and 2 since we are giving more finger foods our children get different textures with each meal/ snack.

You will not give her an eating disorder, eating disorders are not about food, they are control issues - food is just something that is easy for an individual to control. I would think forcing/ coaxing a child to eat would lead to food issues or eating disorders more than letting them eat at their own pace.

It is so very hard when family and friends put the pressure on, but you are doing great things for your DD.

[Bunnybee]

Originally Posted by Ubelle

It seemed to me from the conversation that the window of opportunity pertains more to introducing textures - if a baby eats only purees until xxx age then they seem put off by any textured food. I have no idea if this is true or not, and I wonder if it would apply even more so to those babies that start getting spoon fed at earlier ages (2, 3 or 4 mo)

In the case of my daughter it wasn't true! I didn't know about BLW with her and the pediatrician said we could start cereal at 6 months (real age) even though she was 10 weeks early! (In my gut I felt this was not right and waited til 6 month adjusted). Anyway, she ate a lot of pureed foods for a long time because she didn't get any teeth until 15 months and I was worried about her choking. But I did give her real food (what I ate) before the teeth just cut it up real small and she loved it. SHe never had an issue with texture and loves all food! Broccoli is one her favorites and she weighs 32 lbs at less than 2 years old! I think whatever you feel your baby is communicating to you and what you feel as a parent is the right thing to do!

[CanidFL]

Thanks for the advice on the in laws. I think the next time we are there (in 2 weeks) and it comes up, I will say something along the lines of “we are really excited to get DS started with healthy eating habits so we are only giving him healthy foods like fruit and veggies and we are going to let him feed himself rather then put things in his mouth. That way he is not forced to eat more then he should and he will learn to trust his own appetite and know when he is full”. How does that sound? It’s an easy way to put it and if they argue then I can tell them how when I was little, I was forced to eat everything on my plate and now I have issues with overeating so I don’t want to pass that on. If they still argue then I will just have to put my foot down and tell them this is the way it is and we are not discussing it anymore.

Tizzi – I think you are doing the right thing! Shame on those LC’s for trying to get you to wean. My pediatrician said that 100% of your babies diet should come from breast milk in the first year…the foods are just for fun at that point. Keep doing what you are doing and be proud for being so in touch with your LO.

[Maela]

Last night we were at the inlaws for dinner, and my MIL told me she had a treat for Dd if I would let her have it. I was ready to politely say "no she can't have that..." but she pulled out a whole organic carrot for Dd to gnaw on! It was so sweet. At dinner, Dd had a raw peeled carrot in one hand and a raw peeled zucchini in the other hand. She loved it.