When did you FF your carseat? - Page 2

[fawny]

My daughter is a VERY inconsolable screamer in her carseat... it's almost like someone is pulling her legs off and burning her with a torch back there. It brings me to tears every time she gets like that, and makes it VERY dangerous for me to drive because I am so distracted.... I am pretty sure I am going to forward face her when she's 1 years old if her attitude in the car doesn't change by then.... :

[joy2bmom]

my first dd i turned FF at about 12months old, : at the time i thought it was the right thing to do cuz we were riding down the road one day and she started to choke and i couldn't see her i could only hear her, scared me to death so i turned her that evening. Second dd was turned FF at 15months cuz she screamed her head off when she was RF and i felt bad for her so i turned her. At the time i really thought "everyone" did that. My best friend turned her ds at 10months and at the time i didn't bat an eye

[BlueIrises]

Originally Posted by kibba

My daughter is only 11 months but she to HATES her seat! REALLY HATES IT! Screams like crazy in it, always has. We've tried diff seats and it doesnt matter. We still plan to keep her rf for a good while. I have found having a small bag of distractions works wonders. I will hold something infront of her and she focuses on taking that instead of fighting getting buckled in. I also let her have a snack trap cup with food in it, sippy cup of watered down juice (these two things are only for when in the car, a special treat...) all that together helps. She still fights it like crazy and honestly some days I just stay home to avoid the issues

I've tried the all the typical distractions. I can get him in the seat fine. He is fine for the first 5 minutes max. Then he realizes he is stuck and he wants to walk around and all hell breaks loose. He screams and cries and I am so against CIO in addition to just not having the tolerance for his cries...it is like nails on a chalkboard to me...it tenses me up and gets me very anxious...I find myself visually distracted almost blinded when he cries. That is why I am so concerned about the problem...my attention is not on the road. Add to that, that my arm is stretched over the seat to hold his hand and stroke his face, I'm driving with one hand on the wheel.

Staying home is not an option. I have to work. I've been on maternity leave for 10 months and will back on maternity leave again for our surprise April baby. So I need to work for these 4 months.

As for the DVD player...my DH brought it up. I cringe at the thought but I do understand that a DVD is better than FF. However, I had swore he would never watch TV either but I have yet to figure out how to get ready for work in the morning w/o out a quick 20-30 minute video...which is discussed in my original post...

I'm just afraid of what to do come snow fall. I can't drive on a curvy snowy road with one hand and a distracted mindset.

[majikfaerie]

I had a DD who would NOT sit happily in a RF car seat for even one single minute. When she was about 16mo, we turned her to FF, and it was possible to have her sitting occasionally for short periods without her screaming hysterically.

it was a nightmare, and I avoided the car like mad - to the point where I would sometimes walk up to 10 miles around town in a day with her. but sometimes... well, everytime we wanted to visit our family, which was every week or 2, (20 mi away) we had to get in the car. I basically couldnt drive. I had to sit in the back with DD and twist my back to chinese contortionist proportions to keep my boob in her mouth while staying in my seat belt and keeping her in hers, FF.

this was a HUGE improvement over the RF, but still nightmarish. Many times we would just stop the car and try to calm her, sometimes this would take up to an hour. I lived in terror. I guess some mothers on here can relate.

eclipse, (sorry, I'm all fresh out of tomatoes, can I throw flowers?) I think that's a great idea... I wonder if you could strap a dvd player onto one of those plastic bars you can get to stick on the car seat or stroller that have hangy toys on them. I dont know what that thing's called. wait... I'll google it... um, cant find one, I hope you know what I mean. actually, why not just duct tape it to the celing, or the head rest of the seat? My DD's DVD player has a special strap thing that attaches it to the back of the seat headrest in front, so why not attach it to the back seat headrest?

honestly, in cars, anything that gets the kids sitting happily in their seatbelts is a good thing

[Sharlla]

With DS1 he was 20 lbs so about 1.5 years. Now that I know better DS2 is still RF at 2.5 and will be until 35 lbs (he'll probably be 4 before that happens)

[eunytuny]

Uh oh

:b lush

My son would cry so hard in the car seat he would throw up, sometimes stop breathing. I couldn't stand it so I turned him FF at 8 months. He is now 13 months.



My husband loves that he is FF and I don't know the statistics but I don't think he'd care (husband). I just couldn't take the uncontrollable tantrums at 8 months old!!!.

[WhaleinGaloshes]

Originally Posted by BlueIrises

I would love to hear from moms of babies who hated the carseat.

<waving> Hello! My daughter screamed her head off in the carseat almost from day one...I actually think it was around three weeks when she started the car-crying. She also was not born a car-sleeper; I can honestly say that past 6 weeks old or so she never once fell asleep in the car for her entire first year+ of life. So I feel your pain.

Fast forward to now: she finally came around to taking a sort of Zen approach to the car seat and some days almost seems to like it. The magical age for her was about 14 or 15 months, when she could ride for 20 to 30 minutes without losing it. She takes her special blanket in the car with her and has access to her binky which started helping around that age.

To answer your poll, she's 26 months and still rear-facing. She's getting up towards the top weight on her Marathon but I'm hoping she lasts through the icy season. I did not turn her at a year, despite the fact that she was still protesting strongly; you really can't be at all sure that FF will help the crying and the increased risk isn't worth it IMO.

[riversong]

I turned dd at 13 months because my MIL and SIL kept questioning me about when I was going to do it. That's a very dumb reason, but I also figured she was ready.

Ds just turned 1 y.o. and I'll keep him rf until he's at the weight limit (30 lbs) or till his head is within 1 inch of the top of the seat. I'm pretty sure he'll outgrow the height before the weight, though.

Ds also is not crazy about riding in the car, but it's not nearly as bad as some of you describe. Holding the remote for the car doors really keeps him happy for a long time. I only give it to him when he's fussy in the car, so it's "special."

[majikfaerie]

just another notch on the side of going car-free.
while necessary for safety, carseats just arent really attachment parenting.
sigh.
I'm so glad my DD finally accepted her car seat, and now in her booster she freaks out hysterically if she's not in her seatbelt

[WhaleinGaloshes]

I've just read the other responses...

I have used a DVD player a few times on longer trips with my DD rear-facing. I have a strappy-type case that secures to the headrests, but I found that I couldn't use it as is on the backseat headrests because DD could reach out and touch it (which for her was a problem, YMMV if your todler follows directions better or isn't a grab-er by nature.)

What I did to be sure that it was both out of reach and secure in case of an accident was use short bungee cords with locking carabiner clips to suspend the DVD player's case between the LATCH tether anchors (which you can be sure won't come loose) in the rear window. It worked really well. One minor safety hazard is that the driver can see the movie in the rear-view, so you have to be sure you're not watching the movie instead of the road. I would bet it's more managable and less distracting that the screaming baby, at least.

[baggybears]

I know that this will probably generate lots of "thats not safe replies!" but we actually turned our daughter FF at 9 months. We took a twenty hour car trip from he** that involved screaming for at least 8 hours at a time. Couldn't make her stop crying for anything. After that trip she would have hysterics every time she went in her seat. She's an extremely social baby and I think she just wanted to be able to see and visit more. She is also a very big strong baby, and met the height/weight restrictions for turning a baby forward at about 4 months, and at 9 months her knees were bent in her RF seat. I wouldn't reccomend this for every child, but it worked for us.

[jillian+1]

I haven't had any trouble with the car seat yet : but I just wanted to point out a couple of things:

First of all, there are health issues associated with crying which all of us that oppose CIO should be familiar with. It's worth thinking about this risk in the context of all the risks we face every day, including car accidents.

Also, the risks associated with an accident due to a distracted driver affect the child but also the mother and all the other people on the road, which is not really a risk that you have a right to take, imo. That's like going on the road after a couple of drinks. Of course I am not judging you poor mamas (I am in no position to do so)!! And I certainly don't want to create more anxiety where there is plenty already!! I'm just saying that we have to think about the risk to others of driving while distracted and factor that into a larger decision about when to turn the carseat.

GL to all who have to make this tricky decision.

[hanno]

Originally Posted by alegna

If it is that new of a problem I would definitely wait longer. So many things change so quickly at that age.



Good luck!

-Angela

Can you really really not see the greater danger here? My baby crying makes me nuts. I get shakey and I want only to make him feel okay. Trying to pay attention to the road while he's screaming his head off would be a far greater risk than forward facing if it's within the limits of the seat. It's the difference between a possible injury IF there is an accident and pretty much guaranteeing an accident on the winding winter roads in NY. Shrugging and saying 'it'll change soon' is really insensitive.


I have a 7 1/5 month old car hater so I can do nothing right now with the seat. Thankfully I can ride with him in the back and nurse him until he can turn 'off'. He's not asleep when he does this, he's just so upset that he dissociates while in the carseat.

[majikfaerie]

:

[Sharlla]

DS2 hated carseats but he got over it when he was about 6 months or so.

[Anastasiya]

Originally Posted by hanno

Can you really really not see the greater danger here?...Shrugging and saying 'it'll change soon' is really insensitive.

Maybe alegna's looking at it from the perspective of:
If she was in an accident with her crying rear facing baby now (like rear-ending someone or something), chances are he would be fine, because he's rear facing. It's THAT safe. But if her child is forward facing, an accident as minor as a 10mph collision could internally decapitate that child, killing him immediately. I think it's less her being insensitive and more her realizing the vulnerability of the child's neck/spine.

No matter how much my child cried, day in and day out, I would NOT let him play in the street. I would NOT let him jump off the roof. I would NOT let him stand in the rollercoaster ride. There are some things that are always safer options, and rear facing is always the safer option - for the child.

And yeah - CIO sucks in the car. But sometimes you've got to allow it for the greater good of the child's safety. Mom can get earmuffs.

To the OP - how reclined is the seat? Perhaps things would be better if he wasn't so reclined - 45 degree angles are required for newborns, but since he's nearly a year old, try a 30 degree angle so he can see outside, perhaps?

[Nora'sMama]

Oh yeah, and how could I forget our SAVIOR in the car...

the paci...

but if your child is 1+ and doesn't take a paci, they probably won't take one now. Worth a try, though, if it's really that bad!!

Also: safe non-chokable finger food like those Gerber dissolvable puffs...they're vile, but safe and distracting. And a spill-proof sippy.

We also saved all of the most fascinating and enticing books for the car...the fabric ones with things to pull out of pockets &c...fuzzy bee & friends...the ones w/ beads you slide. ALL the most fabulous safe stuff went in the car.

We went through periods of agony but at some point (and now, I can't remember when - but it was well before she was 2) she just - got used to the car. Which is good, b/c we generally have to make a 30-minute roundtrip in the car twice every day .

[charmander]

I did it when they passed the age/weight guidelines at around 1 year.

[broodymama]

DS was 2, DD is still rear-facing at 16 months.

[eclipse]

OP, if you do decide to turn your child now, consider trying a return to rearfacing when your baby is born. Having the baby in the back seat might be enough company to keep him happier.