Anyone else cringe now when they discuss birth? - Page 3

[chaoticzenmom]

Yes, I cringe. I had 3 hospital births and a birth center jakuzzi birth. I know the routine and I do cringe because I want people to know how much better it could be if the system didn't think we're sick when we're pregnant!

I can predict the next step in someone's birth story when they're in a hospital and I especially cringe when people praise the hospital for saving their baby from distress that the hospital caused:

I had many people warn me about home and birthing center birth while I was trying to decide between the two. Their stories that were meant to warn me only confirmed that my choice was the correct one.

Lisa

[shanniesue2]

Originally Posted by JenBuckyfan

I guess I'll preceed this post with a "please don't flame me"... I'm just hear looking over different threads and this one had caught my eye. Do any of you feel that there is a place for the hospital while giving birth? I understand wanting a homebirth (I am TTC #1 so obviously I'm no expert) and can see the draw to be in a natural environment and not having any drugs. I'm not sure what we'll decide when the time comes, I at least am planning on having a natural birth as my mom did with both my sister and I, but it might be at a hospital if you can call that natural, I don't know...

Anyway, my cousin was pregnant with twins and ended up in the ER because she was having serious cramping. The doctors immediately gave her some medication and told her she needed to start pushing, they eventually had to give her a c-section to get the babies out. The first twim came out ok, the second came out but had been deprived of oxygen because he was stuck in the birth canal and they kept him on life support for a day so he could be seen by family and so my cousin and her husband could hold him and spend as much time as they could, before he passed away. The twin that survived is a cute and wonderful healthy boy. After the birth, the concern turned to my cousin, as her blood pressure was still only rising and they thought she might not survive. She just had her third baby and she was being monitored bi-weekly to wait for the baby's lungs to develop so they could perform a c-section to get the baby out before the baby dropped. They couldn't allow the baby to go into the birth canal in fear that what happened to the baby that didn't survive last time.

If she hadn't gone to the hospital and had the birth there, she may have lost both babies and maybe her own life. For the third child, she may (and I realize this is a 'may' based on the opinions of her high-risk OBGYN) have the same complications which could have ended as another tragedy.

Do you feel that there is value in birthing at the hospital, or are you more irritated with the women who don't try to birth natural (hospital or not I guess, but I mean truly try - no epi, induction, etc)? From an outsider looking in, I want to feel that you are with the latter, but it seems as though you are demeaning everyone that doesn't birth at home. Again, I understand the debate between the two, I'm just curious.

Thanks!

I think there is a time and place for hospital births. Definitely in a case of high risk pg or an actual need for c-section (i.e. placenta previa). I also think that the hospital is appropriate for women who are uncomfortable with the idea of birthing in their own home. I think that a woman should birth in the environment in which they feel most comfortable. For me, that is at home. All that being said, I think that our society has gotten to the point where birth is a thing to be feared. And I think that more OB's perpetuate that myth than there are OB's who believe and help their patients to realize that MOST pg's and births are completely healthy, normal events in a woman's life. I believe that too many medical professionals lead women to worry unnecessarily about all the what-ifs, which leads too many women to start doubting their bodies and their abilities to birth. So basically, I don't have a problem with women who choose to have a hospital birth (because I honestly believe that every woman should have the right to choose HOW she births). I have a problem with OBs and medical staff and other people who like to perpetuate the idea that the hospital is the ONLY safe place to give birth in (which, if that were the case... the human species wouldn't have lasted very long).

[Demeter_shima]

It's so funny...we had a new women in our Bradley class and she asked where we having our baby. When I told her "at home" she was all impressed seeming, and she said "wow, I'm not brave enough". I SO wanted to say "I'm not 'brave' enough to have a baby in a hospital!" but I didn't want to offend during class.
:::

[flapjack]

Demeter shima, I have that comment a lot. I tell people that I'm far more scared of hospitals than anything my body's going to do to me, and that seems to diffuse some tension.

[CanidFL]

I cringe with the birth discussions too. It's so hard for me because I want to study to be a midwife but then the attitude of the general population makes me not want to. I mean why be a midwife when no one wants to birth at home!!

I was trying to promote the BBB on a mainstream board I visit and I swear not one person said something positive. Every single women had a horror story of how their baby was too big and if it weren't for the godly doctor, they would be dead : They are all saying this movie would be biased and you can make anything look bad if you paint the picture right. Doctors are there to help us and they refuse to watch a movie that puts down hospitals and OB's.

As foe the girl who asked if we think anyone should be in a hospital....

I feel that if you are low risk and do not have any risk factors, then you don't belong in a hospital. Pain meds, hospital policies, etc lead to complications and c-sections that would have been avoided. Of course there are those rare complications and yes then the midwife would transfer care during the pregnancy and you go birth in a hospital.

[applejuice]

That all babies need eye goop (maybe... all babies born to gonnorrhea infected mothers do)

To tell the truth, if a baby is born to a woman who is truly and clinically proven to have an active gonnorrhea infection, there is more treatment to be done than just eye goop. So that is a falsehood, if there ever was one.

[rmzbm]

I've only had c-sections so far & even *I* cringe! I cringe at my own choices.

[StrawHatBrat]

Any extreme views of these situations kind of bother me, though. I have had 3 hospital births and this will (God willing) be my first homebirth. I did have epidurals with my first 3, and the second epidural failed. I never had any other invasive interventions, and I didn't "hate" my hospital births. I just felt like this time, there is something more out there for me.

Honestly, it's offensive being judged because I chose to have babies in a hospital. I'm seeing alot of that. no, pregnancy isn't a disease. And no, I don't think that women should have to feel it necessary to birth in a hospital. But if they do.... that's ok too. I think everyone should be well informed regardless, and I think that's more of a problem than anything else. The women who go into the hospital with NO idea what'll happen. And without having studied her options.

[jencen]

It's interesting... when I was pg, I didn't really tell people my plans because of negative reactions all around and I just didn't feel like indulging anyone in any negativity surrounding me or my baby. DH tells people left and right - he was so proud of us and thinks we are totally awesome for doing everything the way we did. Now that DS is 5 mos. part of me does like telling people now especially when I hear other women's birth stories because it makes me feel like a total stud --26 hour back labor, baby's head acynclitic, never dilated/physically manipulated cervix, 9.8 lb baby, 15 inch head home/waterbirth. Gives them a thing or two to think about the power of themselves and women in general. Wish women had more trust in themselves...hmmmm, wonder why they don't...

[guestmama9904]

Originally Posted by StrawHatBrat

...

Honestly, it's offensive being judged because I chose to have babies in a hospital. I'm seeing alot of that. no, pregnancy isn't a disease. And no, I don't think that women should have to feel it necessary to birth in a hospital. But if they do.... that's ok too. I think everyone should be well informed regardless, and I think that's more of a problem than anything else. The women who go into the hospital with NO idea what'll happen. And without having studied her options.

the thing is though, it really isnt a "choice" for most women to birth at home in our culture.

a true choice would be if homebirth was accepted by society in general to be the safe practice that it statistically has been proven to be. then if everyone grew up knowing it was totally safe and fun to have a baby in your own home we could make a true choice.

however when most insurance plans do not cover homebirth in the USA and most HCPs do not promote birthing at home as a good, safe option, and when most women are only exposed to birth on tv shows like "birth day" where everyone has an epidural and a c section, then birthing at home doesnt feel like a choice. women really are not given the choice as much as it may seem. my mom had all three of us at home and the MDs she consulted for backup basically said "your baby could die because of what you are choosing, do you really want that on your shoulders?". my mom is a rebel so she did it anyways . but choice is a relative word in our culture.