Looking into homeschooling - Page 3

[ebony]

Originally Posted by 636Jen

Ebony, I totally agree. I myself have ADHD and take meds. Of course, if I didn't, this house would look like a bomb went off, my computer desk would be full of papers, books, etc and my life would be chaos at best! I honestly benefit from Ritalin because it keeps my head clear. I do see it benefitting my kids as well but I want to use it for the right reasons. I don't want my kid to *have* to take it because the teacher wants him more quiet or because his mind was wandering and he didn't turn in his test and got a bad grade.

The biggest reason I am deciding to go with homeschooling is that I don't want my kids to have a bad opinion about themselves. My kids ROCK and have awesome personallities!! They are very kind, loving, empethetic, fun, energetic, enthusiastic, inquisitive, special and full of life. Public school just seems to step on all that. It's not GOOD when your kid is the shiney stone in public school.

This is what is happening to my son in school. He has been placed in "extended day" for reading "help" because his comprehension is "below level." When he is at home with me, he reads fine and can answer questions. He says everyone thinks he's stupid now. He stopped wanting to play sports and he's super athletic and has won 5 trophies and medals in 4 different sports. He hasn't made friends and doesn't want to make friends here. He doesn't like the children here and I don't either. He keeps asking me if we can move back to MI and he keeps telling people that he's moving back to MI next year. I have been in tears MANY MANY times since school has started. He is depressed. The nightly meditation has helped him but I really need a permanent solution to this.

Originally Posted by 636Jen

ETA: Does anyone ever feel like they are being WATCHED by others? Like they are waiting for you to complain or fail just so they can do the "I told you so" speech? It feels like everyone is giving me warnings instead of encouragement...and then waiting around to see if I prove them wrong.

:

Oh, yeah. When I homebirthed I think everyone was praying something awful would happen. My ex went crazy and forced me out of the state and I had to leave a good job and I haven't been able to get another good job since (that was almost 3 years ago) and I think my sisters, parents and aunts are secretly glad at my "failure."

I don't even speak to friends or family about my parenting choices unless they ask. They know better than to send me emails like the one your "friend" sent to you. No one says ANYTHING to me ever but I know they talk about me negatively behind my back all the time, and I really don't care.

[636Jen]

Lillian, thank you for the kind words and the rant!! I definitely needed that today! Sometimes I just feel like I need some reassurance that what I want to do is a good thing. I mean, I know it's a good thing but for some reason, people always feel they need to question my motives. I became a vegetarian 12 years ago and people STILL feel the need to question it, stir the pot and deliberately irritate me. Of course, this could have to do with the QUALITY of people that surround me as well. Then again, without family support, people feel alone and that's the other extreme. You're right though....I just need to keep things simple and not involve too many people in this. So far, the only person that has supported my decision is my sister but she doesn't even have kids yet! lol I do thank her for it though.

Ebony, that's terrible that your son is made to feel that way about himself. I hate that schools do that to kids. We as mothers KNOW how awesome our kids are and it's frustrating when kids have even a slightly negative view of themselves. He sounds like a very talented child! I hope that you are able to work through this.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by 636Jen

Sometimes I just feel like I need some reassurance that what I want to do is a good thing.

Jen - there's no reason why you can't attend some local homeschool support group get togethers by yourself and meet some local homeschoolers - you'll sure find lots of support that way! They may even be doing some holiday events you can attend. And if you find a group you resonate with, you could take your husband to something so he can see the families and especially meet some of the dads. Lillian

[636Jen]

I got another call from the school today. Apparently Dakota wasn't trying very hard in school today and just kind of shuffling around. Well he came home with a 102 degree fever. : Gee, sorry my kid was being SO uncooperative. He said that he fell asleep twice in school (sooooo not like him) and he told the teacher he didn't feel good. Hmmmm...like I need another reason to pull him out?? ha!

I talked with my mom today. She actually brought up the subject of how schools are pushing the kids to be little adults and not giving them enough freedoms just to be themselves. (funny timing huh?) I agreed with her and pushed the issue further and told her what was going on with Dakota. Without realizing it, she 100% backed up homeschooling...LOL I didn't say anything about taking the kids out but it's nice to know I have her support...even if she doesn't know it yet!

Lillian, I'll do some searching. I know of another mom who homeschools and I e-mailed last week but haven't heard back yet. Soon I hope!

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by 636Jen

g. I know of another mom who homeschools and I e-mailed last week but haven't heard back yet. Soon I hope!

Here's a post that has links to list of support groups. Sometimes people find groups listed that they had no idea existed.

If it were me, I would go ahead and phone that mom again and/or email her again - because stuff does get lost in cyberspace. And you might try finding people here in MDC too - you never know!

PS: Here's a link to a website run by a wonderful teacher who's been tirelessly fighting the NoChildLeftBehind fiasco - Susan Ohanian Speasks Out. You'll find some very interesting reading there.

And hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your son being subjected to that kind of attitude by a teacher : - I know from personal experience how much that hurts.

Lillian

[HilMama]

Ahhh...it all sounds so easy, but take heed my friend. If you homeschool, your kids still have to pass state exams and meet certain legal requirements.

In Michigan, there's no mandatory testing and the law just lists required subjects.

How to approach hsing is a personal decision, based on what works for you.

Also, IMO, the best early childhood/elementary approaches emphasize exploration. Reggio Emilia is one example--and two local schools, one public and one private, are R.E. schools. So, there are many, many different educational philosophies AND different schools follow different approaches. Homeschoolers are equally diverse. Your friend's vision is just one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reggio_Emilia_approach

It's just not worth debating with people. Maybe she thought you were asking her what you should do or maybe she just has her own issues on education. Whatever the reason, the only opinions that matter are those of your (nuclear) family, really.

It's easy to feel under the microscope. My parents were/are opposed to hsing, and that's hard. But, I just try to tell myself that we know what's best for us and that eventually they'll see that it was the right thing to do (or at least not criminally negligent!)

I just worry that the "thought" of homeschooling is appealing yet the reality might be disappointing for ME.

If you try, and it is, you can make changes. They also could go to school again, if you decide that would work better.

Like, what if my kids don't learn anything or want to do any of my lessons through exploring the world. What IF they get to a point where they surpass my intelligence (yes, hard to believe...lol) and I can't carry the ball.

I am ALWAYS reevaluating. And, we toss things that don't work. And, try others. I mentioned that my oldest is almost high school age. I love math, and we've always worked together. But, last year, it seemed he wanted more independence, so he's used two math programs with video lectures, which are great (Thinkwell, Chalkdust). Looking at biology, there are free courses and AP course online; there are tons of resources. And, some kids decide to go to school at some point. I guess my point is that you shouldn't borrow trouble--they are still young.

I feel like whenever I talk or write about hsing, I sound like I never have doubts or worries, which is far, far from reality. I think it's just a part of parenting and hsing to evaluate and worry.

[SereneBabe]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

A middle school question for unschoolers and other relaxed homeschoolers

I snipped so much, but, wow wow wow, thank you for posting these links!

Amazing!

We just pulled our daughter from 2 mornings of preschool to one. She seems to like it in some ways, but when her teacher said she "needs to work on making friends" I began knowing this wasn't the place for her. Our daughter's life REVOLVES around her friends, she makes intense and beautiful friendships. Yes, she doesn't run with the pack and doesn't really know how, but, that is not something I think she needs to learn how to do.

Anyway, for someone (me) with so many questions, I'm really grateful you all have so many answers!

--Heather

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by SereneBabe

We just pulled our daughter from 2 mornings of preschool to one. She seems to like it in some ways, but when her teacher said she "needs to work on making friends" I began knowing this wasn't the place for her. Our daughter's life REVOLVES around her friends, she makes intense and beautiful friendships. Yes, she doesn't run with the pack and doesn't really know how, but, that is not something I think she needs to learn how to do.

It's come to that, huh? Needs to work - on making friends.... And how, pray tell, is one supposed to help a preschool aged child figure out how to go about working on making friends. Ridiculous. It can be such a pain in the neck to have to deal with people telling you how your child should be. One of the last straws for me was an overnight camp out at a beach for all the children and their families when my son was in 1st grade. There were about 24 of them in all, from k to 3rd grade level. Pitch black campground in the dunes and beach brush. The teacher had separate tents set up for the k-1st girls, k-1st boys, 2nd-3rd girls, and 2nd-3rd boys. They were to sleep in those tents - not in parents' tents. Bonding . And she planned to tell scary stories in the 2nd-3rd graders' tents.

I told her our son (who had been sick, by the way) didn't want to sleep in a tent with the k-1 boys - he wanted to sleep in our tent. She told me kids are given too much choice - they need to just be told more what they're going to do. But her opinion meant nothing to us other than being an annoyance - he slept in our tent! Just one more annoyance for her.

At one point, around the campfire, people were telling stories, and our little guy, who was ordinarily quite on the quiet and shy side, started telling a very elaborate story I'd read to him from a book about Native American legends, and telling it in a very animated fashion, in vivid detail, at that. I didn't even know he'd taken in all those details, much less that he'd spontaneously want to tell it to a crowd of people. But you should have seen that teacher's mouth fall wide open! She had him all stereotyped until then, and suddenly she just didn't know what to think! - Lillian

[636Jen]

Originally Posted by HilMama

Reggio Emilia is one example

When I was pregnant with Sydney (ugh, over 5 years ago now!) I studied Reggio Emilia, Waldorf, Private, Public, etc. In looking over those those documents, I came across this today:

Two primary influences helped shape the public schools. (MAIN POINT)

1. The widely held Calvinist viewpoint John Calvin (1509 – 1564) was a French-Swiss theologian and religious reformer who emphasized the doctrine of original sin and of the natural depravity of the human being. Calvin thought that human beings are self-indulgent, lazy, prone to wrongdoing, and deserving of eternal damnation. Salvation can come only by the predetermined, arbitrary gift of divine grace to the undeserving sinner. Many of the ethnic/religious groups that settled in the US had views similar to those of Calvin. The schools they formed were based on a negative view of human nature and on an understanding of truth as something to be received, accepted, and retained. Since children are by nature lazy and disorderly, they must be kept in order and compelled to learn with threats, punishments, and rewards.

2. The other important influence on the public school was the concept of the factory system. The industrial revolution and the development of public education occurred at around the same time. The public schools incorporated many of the characteristics of the early mills and factories. The regimentation, discipline, and piecework was applied both to teachers and to children. The school day was strictly regulated by the clock (and time marked by a bell or horn in both schools and the factories).

By the end of the nineteenth century the public school system was established, and huge.

The pedagogy was authoritarian, teacher centered, competitive, individualistic, focused on orderliness and efficiency, and dedicated to children acquiring specific intellectual knowledge and specific academic skills. Memorization, rote learning, tests, grades, and rewards and punishments were key parts of school life. Public schools aimed to educate children but also aimed to make them obedient, hard-working, good citizens.

Yet even as the system was forming, alternative educational initiatives were arising. Some of these were based on a more optimistic view of human nature and of the child’s desire and ability to learn, and on democratic, egalitarian principles.

[Needle in the Hay]

I'm late to this thread but I did want to wish you a happy start 636Jen! I just loved reading about your children's reaction!
It's very normal to have doubts and some anxiety about this decision. I know I did and I liked the idea of homeschooling before DS was born. It's hard when people don't get it and I've found it helps not to discuss it much with those people. Many seem to just want to tell you what you should do and what your kids "need". They have strong opinions but no real reasons for them. For example I was told "Kids learn better when they learn all together in a group". If you are ever feeling up to a debate those kind of statements are easy to pick apart. People believe them without really having good reason to.

Something that baffles me: Why on earth would your children need to have clear lines drawn between learning and being at home? That doesn't make any sense to me, so no, I don't agree with what your friend wrote in the email (no offense intended towards your friend, of course!)

At least where you live you will be able to find support and lots & lots of other HSing families. I grew up near Detroit and think it's a great area for homeschooling. Even though the city could be a lot better you've got just about everything there. We were just visiting recently and went to Walking with Dinosaurs. The Henry Ford is amazing and we've also visited MSU's natural history museum, Ann Arbor's Hands-On museum, Greenfield Village, the Detroit Zoo and during a quick trip to Chicago we did some great things there too (planetarium & children's museum). Next time we'll have to try to get to the Detroit Science Center as it's supposed to be great and somehow I've never been there. And I love the Parent-Teacher resource store at the Doll Hospital & Toy Soldier shop.

Have fun bringing your dc home!!

[HilMama]

Yet even as the system was forming, alternative educational initiatives were arising. Some of these were based on a more optimistic view of human nature and of the child’s desire and ability to learn, and on democratic, egalitarian principles.

Thanks for posting such a great summary. I hope that Dakota is feeling much, much better today. Hopefully, the teacher will realize her mistake and not jump to conclusions so easily.

[636Jen]

Cranbrook really has SO much to offer in one place. We visit the science center twice a year and they have a lot of different exhibits....some perminent and some "travelling" from place to place like the dinosaur one. We went to the Dinosaur Live show at Cobo in Detroit and the kids were in AWE! They absolutely loved it and one of the dinosaurs came very close to us. If we would have stood up, we could have touched it! Of course, my kids were the ones yelling, "Hey mom, did you see that Brachiosaurus? Hey mom, do you know what kind that is? It's a xxxxx" I turned to the people behind us (two grandparents with their 8 year old grandson) and felt I had to appologize for their outbursts and noise. They said, "Oh we just think it's great that your children know all these dinosaurs! They are very smart!" I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that...lol

You know, Greenfield Village has their annual Holiday Nights thing they do. All of Greenfield Village is transformed into a journey into the past (around 1902 I think) and everyone is in charactor! The streets are lit by lantern and there are groups of people singing Christmas carols. It's really fun and Santa is there!! He will call out the kids by name (his elf on the ground has a microphone to tell Santa your kids names) and he'll say, "Hello there Dakota! Thank you for visiting me!" The kids eyes just get wide and they are so excited!

Yes, we definitely have a TON to do around here.

www.cranbrookart.edu/museum/
science.cranbrook.edu/
www.thehenryford.org
www.detroitzoo.org

just to name a few!

[ebony]

OT: I got a scholarship to Cranbrook when I was in the 7th grade and it was the most miserable experience of my young student life. I told my mom to get me out of there after the first semester!

Reading your summary of the public school system Jen really makes me wonder how we could keep this going but I guess it's the same as how we could keep slicing open women for no reason and promoting formula, etc.

Very disturbing...