Midwives -- Q about your own pregnancies

[Pariah]

I'm sorry if this has been asked before, I read through many pages and didn't see it...

For the midwives here who've had their own children after becoming midwives... Did you see anyone for your prenatal care, or did you handle it yourself? Who was at your birth? I'm curious as to how midwives handle their own pregnancies and births.

[JunipersMom]

I'll let you know in April ~ but so far I have been doing my own prenatal care. And I was planning on having another area midwife for a couple of prenatals so that I could be midwifed a bit .. but have since found an apprentice who hasnt had any primary births ~ so I'm hoping to have her do my prenatals and then attend the birth as well. But we'll see how it all goes, I'm only 20 weeks.

[BetsyS]

I'm a little different than most. Before I had my son and retired to SAHM, I was a more medically minded CNM. Not as medical as my colleagues (they thought I was the crazy hippy dippy girl), but not as crunchy as probably most of the people here.

My state also makes non-CNM midwifery care hard. Insurance doesn't pay for it, it's not regulated because the state refuses to license non-cnms, the whole drill. And no CNMs do homebirth. So, in that climate, I went for a hospital birth. It was what I felt most comfortable with.

I chose the most laid back midwife in my entire town (a large metro area). I drove an hour to see her. I trusted her completely, and she was excellent. She did offer a few things that I declined, including an ultrasound at 36 weeks to check for size. I really think she offered just to say she could. She expected me to decline.

It was important for me, in labor, to have a midwife that I trusted completely. I wanted to experience labor as a mom, to feel my birth as the beautiful, joyful, special time it was, not to be focused on the medical details. And, so, I just went to labor land. I pretty much did whatever the midwife told me to do. If she offered choices, I chose, but otherwise, I just did whatever. The only time the medical part of me came out was when they drew pre-op labs on me at about 24 hours into labor. No one had mentioned c-section, but I told my dh that I was going to have one.

I did end up with a c-section, after 36 hours of labor. I birthed my baby without regret. I know that I did everything possible to get him out, and it just didn't work. I also know that by relinquishing control, I gave up some of my decision making powers. Maybe we should have done x or y instead of a or b.

But, in the end, relinquishing the control and being able to experience labor as the birth of *my* baby, instead of the labor and delivery of a laboring mom, was completely worth it. That emotional connection was well worth the sacrifice that I made.

This might not be the best path for everyone, but it definitely was for me.

I wanted to add that it was important to me during the pregnancy as well that I not obsess, that I learned to be content and trust in my body, and that I just really relaxed and enjoyed the *emotions* of being pregnant. So, in that vein, I had prenatal care with my midwife. I only listened to the heartbeat at her office. I had one ultrasound, at her office, around 23 weeks. I didn't ever "sneak a peek" at my office or listen with the doppler in my office. Never. I just really enjoyed being the mama.

[jljeppson]

I've had babies before and after starting to apprentice. This last one I saw my doc for labs etc, and now will be doing the rest of my prenatals myself. Just can't see a reason to pay for prenatals when I can do them myself.

[Charmie981]

I've come full circle since we started TTC at the end of my apprenticeship. In the beginning, I planned to use the MW I trained with, but then things became strained between she and I. Then I decided that I would UC. Then I had two miscarriages in 4 months, narrowly escaped a D&C and was diagnosed with a clotting disorder . Now I plan to see a natural birth-friendly OB through the course of my pregnancy, because I will be on blood thinners. I haven't decided yet what I'll do for the birth, but DH and I are leaning toward a planned accidental UC with the doctor and hospital as our safety net, should we need them. I can't see starting my labor out in the hospital, but I can't see not having any prenatal care during my pregnancy, given the information that I have about my body now. I also want to know that if I do go to the hospital, I won't be mistreated, as the "unassigned" mothers are in this area. Not having a prenatal record makes you the scum of the earth and I think I'd rather deal with the hassle of a medical doctor during pregnancy than the wrath of the L&D nurses during my birth and postpartum, KWIM?

Now, ask me when I'm pregnant again and this plan may be entirely different!!

[PapayaVagina]

I mostly took care of myself (badly I might add) but saw a midwife a few times when I was pregnant for lab work and to get a better angle on palpation. I tried not to be anxious about stupid stuff but I wasn't totally successful. We'd planned a UC but after 2 days of labor I called in a friend and we transported to the hospital for some Pit and then dd's heart rate crashed = emergency cesarean. I'd still do it the same way next time though, but probably with less prenatal care elsewhere.

[mwherbs]

for my 3rd pregnancy I saw the midwife I worked with and took care of myself-we were close as friends and it was nice to be cared for by her
for our 4th I lived far away from any practicing midwives and did my own care and had a UC birth- I was fine and competent to care for myself but something was lost in not having someone to share concerns and thoughts with as well as just being cared for in a knowing way--

[Peppamint]

We haven't decided if we will have any more children, but if we do I'd have to say I would still want my midwife there.

I like being nurtured during pregnancy/birth just as much as I like giving out that nurturing, KWIM?