Dropping off/picking up and parents entering classroom

[katiecat]

Maybe I should do a poll (I've never set one up before). I was just wondering, for those of you who drop off and pick up your children at school (starting with K I guess), do you actually go into the classroom with your child? I mean just for a minute or two to drop them off and pick them up? I don't mean staying in the classroom with them.

Just wondering how common that is. The parents at our school tend to (for the younger grades) and I love that. If you don't go in but would like to why don't you? Is it discouraged by the teacher or school in general? I suppose at some point your own child might not want you to and if/when ds gets to that point that is fine with me. But for now - he's in kindergarten - it's just always been a given that we will go in with him.

Oh dear - I didn't mean to put this in Montessori! I meant it to go in the general learning at school board. Though I am interested in responses from all different schools, including Montessori. Could it be moved please?

[taz925]

At the public school here, the kids lines up outside of the school (or in the gym if it is too cold) and are taken in by the teacher so no the parents do not go into the classroom everyday. If you are late, then you walk them in. At the end of the day, the teachers take them to the door leading out and release the kids to the parents.

[crittersmom]

My oldest just started K this year.he is in a public school.I started out walking him to his classroom lineup spot and waiting with him until his teacher came to bring them in.A lot of parents do this here,even for older kids.The school sent a note home last month saying that now it was time for us parents to let our kids mature and we needed to just say our good byes from outside and let them wait in line by themselves.They do have aides who watch two lines at a time so the kids aren't unsupervised just its so hard for me to let go. I don't think I'm the only parent either since I'm not the only one hovering outside until my child enters his classroom door.

[katiecat]

Originally Posted by taz925

At the public school here, the kids lines up outside of the school (or in the gym if it is too cold) and are taken in by the teacher so no the parents do not go into the classroom everyday. If you are late, then you walk them in. At the end of the day, the teachers take them to the door leading out and release the kids to the parents.

It is the same here but the parents just go in with the kids. Those that want to I mean. Some don't.

Thanks!

[katiecat]

Originally Posted by crittersmom

My oldest just started K this year.he is in a public school.I started out walking him to his classroom lineup spot and waiting with him until his teacher came to bring them in.A lot of parents do this here,even for older kids.The school sent a note home last month saying that now it was time for us parents to let our kids mature and we needed to just say our good byes from outside and let them wait in line by themselves.They do have aides who watch two lines at a time so the kids aren't unsupervised just its so hard for me to let go. I don't think I'm the only parent either since I'm not the only one hovering outside until my child enters his classroom door.

I guess this is what I was wondering...if schools tend to do this (discourage coming into the school with your child(ren)).

And how do people feel about this.

[katiecat]

*

[nkm1968]

At our Montessori school, you are supposed to drop kids off from your car at a drop-off line, but it for practical reasons rather than pedagogical; we have 150 students and only about 10 parking spaces. Half the time I do the car line, half the time I park at the office next door and walk dd2 to class for comfort, plus I get the bonus cup of coffee in the office!!

DD1's Montessori had mandatory parent walk into school with kiddo and sign in with what time you dropped off; however, this did NOT mean you could chat with the directress or assistant.

Neither way has bothered me at all.

[MommyErin]

At DD's school, there is a drop off car line specifically for 3-6s. You can go in with your DCs and walk them to class but this is not encouraged by the school. The philosophy of the school is to foster independence in every way and the teachers want the kids to be able to conduct themselves from the drop off door to the 3-6 wing of the school (the school is a sprawling one story building from the '50s). It doesn't bother me and I usually just drop DD off but if I want or need to go in with her, no one bats an eye.

I should add, though, that DD goes to a largish public PreK through 6th grade Montessori (the first public Montessori in the country!).

[comfybuns]

I walk in and visit with my preschooler's class for about 15 minutes while the other 2 play with their friends. I then meet each of the others for a kiss goodbye.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

The general procedure for our private school (K-6) is drop off kids in the parking lot and not to get out to walk them to class. There are only 10 parking spots for 65 families, so its really hard to do anything else. If you need to go in you have to park on the street (busy and I HATE parallel parking) and then walk in. You are certainly allowed to do this, but its such a hassle that parents only do it when absolutely necessary. Since its a little school and they go straight to their classrooms, I am comfortable with this. For pick up its really strict because of the traffic issues, you pull up to the front of the line, a teacher hands your child into the car and you move as soon as the seat belt clicks so the next car can be loaded.

[UUMom]

In K, I walked the children in--that was the option. In first grade, I dropped them off at the front door, unless they were feeling needy or had a massive diorama to bring in, then we parked and walked them in. Did that on and off until about the 3rd grade, I suppose. Hoewever, for morning drop off, the head of school, or other administrator is right there to recivee the children from the cars. Even my 8th grader is recieved. My 14 yr old gets out of the car, grabs his millions of pounds of crapola (lunch, backpack, craporama, laptop etc), and the adult shakes his hand to welcome him, and then waves to me buh-bye. (Although with a smile). I like that. My child gets someone to greet him, and I get the old heave-have-a-nice-day-ho. I have had to walk giant posters in, even in 8th grade however. Gives me a chance to yack.

ETA-- Our school works as EvanandAnna'smom's does at the end of the day. The administrators help the children right into their cars, holding the door open, saying hi to me, and bye to him, and helping to get all the baggage in. It makes it very easy to pick up.

[Mirzam]

Both of my children go to private schools (one part-time) and for both I park, walk with them into school and sign them in. DS's school (all grades currently K - 3) always begins with a morning walk, so once you have signed in the children tend to play outside until the bell goes then they line up for attendance and then go on a walk for about 30 minutes, parents are allowed to join if they wish. With DD's school (democratic/free school), once I sign her in I leave, she can actually sign herself in, but I usually take her in and say "hi" to her teacher.

[1xmom]

At my dd's school you can do whatever is comfortable for you. I usually walk my dd in, just b/c she likes it. She is in 2nd grade and still likes to hold my hand and have me walk her to class. SHe's not shy or anything, she just always has something she wants me to see. I don't always walk her in though. Alot of times I just chat w/the teacher about her and how things are going.
This morning, however, my dd wanted to walk in by herself, so I just let her out at the end of the parking lot, gave her a kiss, and sent her on her way.

[mata]

I have two daughters-one in preschool, one in second grade (public school.) With the daughter in preschool, I do sit and wait with her until she goes into class. She loves her school and has no separation anxiety whatsoever-it's always a quick drop off. My oldest was a different story-she refused to go to preschool. When she went to kindergarten, she was dropped off in the cafeteria. I sat with her every morning until the teacher came to pick the class up (and quite often was only one of two moms who did that.) In first grade I also waited with her every morning on the playground, stood next to her in line as they filed in to class. I had to walk her to the door or she would get upset. This year, up until two weeks ago I've done the same thing, but she reached a point recently where she wanted more independence. Now I walk her to the school entrance and she goes to her class by herself.

[CarrieMF]

My kids are in K, Grade 1 & Grade 4. The usually walk to school themselves, even the days I"m at the school I meet them there after(though they get there 30-40min before the bell rings & I have nothing to do). I sometimes pick them up. now & then I'll drop them off, though not so much in the winter.lol

If I drop them off I go into each class with them, they want me to. I stand there for the 2 seconds it takes them to put their stuff away & then we move to the next child. With my dd in Grade 4, I tell her to clean her desk too, it's horrid.lol

If I pick them up we stand outside the classroom & wait. There is always a gaggle of parents outside each classroom door, then 220ish kids walking out you can't get TO the door you just yell at your kid as they're walking out so they know where you are.

I'd hate to have to drop them off at the door & not have the option of going in. I hate that they went to lockdown schools this year & there is only 1 door open during the day.

When I pick them up in the car I park along the street & go in. There are parking spaces in the lot, but that's also where 3 busses pick up kids & there's alot of kids walking around so I avoid parking in there during that time of day. It takes alot longer to get out of the parking lot too.

[flight]

At DS's preschool, parents were requested to come into the cloakroom to help get coats off and put away, shoes changed, etc. The teachers were there to greet the kids as they came in. We did the same thing in reverse at the end of the day. There was plenty of parking for us, which was nice.

At the school he went to for K, the K students had their own playground supervised by teachers and older students. We dropped our kids off at this playground. I would usually say hi to the teachers and maybe chat for a few moments. At the end of the day, the parents were to wait outside the school, and the teachers would bring the kids to the school doors and only release the kids when they saw the right parent (or whoever was picking them up that day).

In grade 1 he switched schools and was bussed. If I was dropping him off, there was a designated spot to park for that. The first few times I asked him if he wanted me to walk him in, which I did until he was comfortable finding his classroom, then he told me I didn't need to do that! For pickups I would send a note to his teacher, and they would direct him to meet me in the front lobby of the school.

For grade 2 he's in another school again, and we're back to walking to school (yay!!). For drop-offs, I just walk him to the schoolyard and he goes his own way. I usually watch him until he's in with the other kids and the yard supervisors. For pick-ups, I was told by the principal and his teacher that parents are welcome in the school, which I really liked. I generally don't go into the classroom cause I don't want to get in the way, and at this time of year I don't want to track snow in there. I just wait in the same place in the hallway so he knows where to find me.

So to answer your question, no, I generally don't go into the classroom. DS has always been very independent for his age, and I feel like I don't want to "get on his turf" so to speak by going into his classroom, unless I'm invited. I want to let him have his space. At the same time, I really like that the school welcomes the parents in, so I can be there if DS needs me. Being encouraged to come in gives me a feeling of "we're all on the same team here, looking after these kids." At his previous schools I felt more like a visitor on "their" territory, ya know?

[mattemma04]

We have to wait outside.Parents are discouraged from entering the school other than going into the office.

[peachweenie]

My son is in kindergarten - parents are required to wait with our children and sign them in at the door. The teacher waits at the door to greet each child. You can drop off things in the classroom, but parents are discouraged from lingering or engaging the teachers in long conversations. I can understand that, it's distracting and they want to foster a calm and peaceful atmosphere to start off the school day.

[RomanGoddess]

Well, my daughter is only in preschool (she is 3). I take her into the school, wait for her to hang up her coat at her hook, give her her snack to take with her and kiss her at the door of her classroom.

The teacher sent a note to the parents the first day that, with the exception of the first week of school (which was considered an "adaptation" period), parents should not enter the classroom.

The problem with parents entering the classroom at that age is that they inevitably hang around, even if just for a couple of minutes, sensitive kids who have already been dropped off then think of their moms and wonder why their moms cannot be there, too, the kid who is being dropped off has a greater expectation that the parent will stay and is more likely to cry, etc.

Basically, by allowing parents in the classroom, the boundaries for the children become less clear. By making a point of leaving when you get to the door, you make it clear that the classroom is the child's domain, not yours, and that YOU are leaving leave now and the child is staying. I don't have a problem with the policy.

Incidentally, the "leave your child at the door policy" does not mean that we cannot ask the teacher something (which I do, almost daily). And when I pick up my daughter from class, she often invites parents into the classroom to show them what their child has done that day.

[Gorzong]

My DD goes to a private preschool through grade 4. So that's 3 year olds up to like 9 or 10 year olds. It's smallish school, 70 or so students total. Everyone gets dropped off at about the same time, and at the start of the day they ring the big bell, and we sing the "community song" to start the day. In the song there are parts for the different classes to "start their day" and those students go off to the classrooms. The 3 year olds play outside for a like an hour at the start of the day, so all the parents can take their time saying good bye and getting them ready for school. For mine, I sign the song, and then push her couple times on the swing and head out. Pick up is similar. She's half day, so not as many people, and they are always playing the last 45 minutes, and so it's a lingering pickup, and you can ask the teachers some stuff, or talk to other parents picking up.

The other classes for drop seem to be mix of parents bringing the kids, and not. The 4-5 year olds seem to still have parents bringing them into class, and getting coats off and hands washed, etc. The 6-10 year olds mainly seem to get dropped off, or walked to the classroom door.

There is a fairly open policy on parents hanging around the school though, they have a large push for parental involvement. Usually when I pick up DD we stick around the playground and eat lunch and talk to the other kids, and teachers. I feel that I could drop in whenever I wanted, and I think other parents feel the same way. It's really a nice family feeling around the school.

Liam.