Dropping off/picking up and parents entering classroom - Page 2

[Alyantavid]

My son's in a public kindergarten. I started out the year by walking him to his door to drop off his things then saying goodbye outside by the playground. Now I just drop him, help him get all of his stuff and get headed to the door or playground. I was the only parent I ever saw actually walking the kid in after the first day. I did it until I could see he was comfortable going by himself.

[shelley4]

i would love to be able to go into the room for drop offs/pick ups, just for a few minutes, but we are not allowed to.. the teacher very strongly discourages it. the kids have to line up by the outside door, and then she comes down and lets them in/out.

the teacher says that it's because it's very difficult for the children who may have a hard time separating from the parents.. that it's easier to make a 'clean break' at the door, rather than continue crying/being upset all down the hall, and in the room, and then again when the parent leaves.

i'm so glad my kids have done well with drop offs, i don't think i could handle dropping off an upset/crying child at the door

[Hannahsmummy]

I have a kindergarten age daughter in a Waldorf school. She goes for half days.

We enter the school and take her to the cloak area to get her jacket off and slippers on. We then wait in the big foyer for the teacher to let us know she's ready for the kids.

At pick up, the parents gather in the foyer. When the classroom door opens the teacher looks for each child's parent then does a personal goodbye song for the child before letting them go to the parent.

We usually sit in the school to eat lunch due to timing.

[kmeyrick]

It should not be a problem but sometimes if a parent comes in with a baby, is yelling on the cell phone to a teen-ager or spouse, the student starts stalling tactics to prevent the parent from leaving, parents compete to talk to the teacher......Some public schools have had to put a stop to it. But it depends on the temperament of the town, I wouldn't want that as a general rule.:

[sugarmoon]

Originally Posted by cmlp

Well, my daughter is only in preschool (she is 3). I take her into the school, wait for her to hang up her coat at her hook, give her her snack to take with her and kiss her at the door of her classroom.

The teacher sent a note to the parents the first day that, with the exception of the first week of school (which was considered an "adaptation" period), parents should not enter the classroom.

The problem with parents entering the classroom at that age is that they inevitably hang around, even if just for a couple of minutes, sensitive kids who have already been dropped off then think of their moms and wonder why their moms cannot be there, too, the kid who is being dropped off has a greater expectation that the parent will stay and is more likely to cry, etc.

Basically, by allowing parents in the classroom, the boundaries for the children become less clear. By making a point of leaving when you get to the door, you make it clear that the classroom is the child's domain, not yours, and that YOU are leaving leave now and the child is staying. I don't have a problem with the policy.

Incidentally, the "leave your child at the door policy" does not mean that we cannot ask the teacher something (which I do, almost daily). And when I pick up my daughter from class, she often invites parents into the classroom to show them what their child has done that day.

Wow. I find this really odd, especially for a pre-k. My kids are in prek this year and all parents have to bring the kids into the classroom, help them hang up their things at their cubbies, change from winter boots to shoes, help the kids sign in on a sign in sheet, and wash their hands. Most parents say good-bye after this, but one other mom and I both stay for about 15 minutes each day (until the teacher rings the bell that means it is lunch time -- the class starts at 11:45, so they eat at 12). And their teacher has been very open to parents (and younger sibs) staying for the whole session if that is what the parent thinks their child needs. I my kids prek teacher.

As for the rest of the school (the prek is part of my town's public school), I'm not totally sure, b/c I'm not there in the am when other kids are dropped off. For pick-up, some kids take the bus, some parents wait in the parking lot and some parents go in. Kindy kids are picked up at noon, and I always see their parents/daycare providers going to the classroom to get them.

[memiles]

My daughter is in a public school co-op program. Since bussing isn't provided, about 200 cars a day are there to drop off and pick up. They have a car line that's fairly efficient and very well supervised, so we do that.

If I get there early and there is parking available, I do get out and wait in the courtyard for release. However, parking is usually full just from the parents working that day, so that's rare.

Parents are welcomed and encouraged to come and go as they please, however, so if my daughter wanted me to walk her in I would.

[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by gus'smama

Wow. I find this really odd, especially for a pre-k. My kids are in prek this year and all parents have to bring the kids into the classroom, help them hang up their things at their cubbies, change from winter boots to shoes, help the kids sign in on a sign in sheet, and wash their hands. Most parents say good-bye after this, but one other mom and I both stay for about 15 minutes each day (until the teacher rings the bell that means it is lunch time -- the class starts at 11:45, so they eat at 12). And their teacher has been very open to parents (and younger sibs) staying for the whole session if that is what the parent thinks their child needs. I my kids prek teacher.

I think perhaps it is a question of culture as well as the goals of the preschool in question. My daughter goes to a French école maternelle. It is play-based but it is not just "play school" if you know what I mean. There is a lot of structure to the programme and the teacher does have definite pre-defined learning goals in mind. And every activity has a pedagogical goal. Nothing is done just for the sake of playing. Perhaps, in this sense, it is a little different from an American play-based pre-school. I am not sure that the teacher could accomplish what she wanted to accomplish if we parents were hanging around. Kids act differently when mom is around. My own daughter will just look up to me and cling to me if the teacher asks her something while I am present. She is a different person when I am not there.

Also, I do stick around to help my daughter with her boots off and while she hangs her coat on her hook but all of this is before she enters the classroom. The coats are not kept inside the classroom.

[Izzy's Mom]

Originally Posted by katiecat

I guess this is what I was wondering...if schools tend to do this (discourage coming into the school with your child(ren)).

And how do people feel about this.

My son's school discourages people from coming in - but only at the moment of dropoff/pickup when the kids are getting coats etc and the halls are just crazy busy. Kindergarteners are released to parents at a specific door 5 minutes early and bus kids are walked right to their bus by an aide. We are welcome as parents to go in after about 10 minutes to talk to the teacher when we want/need to and of course we can contact the teacher several other ways as well. I completely understand this rule cause it really is too busy to add tons of parents to the mix when kids need to get going - in my area a large percentage take the bus and they can't take the chance on kids missing the buses just cause the halls are too crazy!

As long as I'm welcome in the school otherwise I have no problem with the rule.

ADDED: Oh and at my school the administrators and many teachers are outside for about 10 minutes before the bell in the am and you can chat with the teacher if need be then. This is something I enjoy on the days I drop my son off (he usually takes the bus)

[lightheart]

our K rides the bus mostly, when I do take him in I drop him off out front and let him go in by himself, there's a teacher outside and another in the front hall that asks the kids if they have eaten breakfast or wants to eat breakfast and either sends them down the hall to the cafeteria or into the gym where they wait. I was suprised to find out they don't ring a bell for classes to start, the teacher comes to the gym and picks up her or his kids and takes them to the room, if they did eat breakfast once finished the teacher down there sends them to the gym to wait.

I overslept one day and he was about 1hr 15 min late for class, when I woke up I immediatly called his teacher and told her we'd be there (she's cool... gave us her cell#) I walked him into the office, signed him in and walked him to the classroom.

The rule is if your late, anytime after 8:00 you are susposed to sign them in the office, I've been there just cutting it and there is usually a line in front and behind me and a teacher still standing out there, so I just let him out.

The one day there wasn't a line and no teacher so I was starting to park to take him in and a teacher came out and said I didn't have to, that his class hadn't left the gym yet.

I do see parents, up to about 3rd grade size kids walking their kids in, whether it's early or late, the school goes to grade 5, but I rarely see the big kids being walked in unless they have a project or something.

1st full day of school he rode bus but the 1st time I drove him in I did walk him to the cafeteria 'just to be sure'

Noone has ever said to walk or not to walk the kids in

There's very little parent involvement in our son's school so I think the would be estatic if they did have to make a rule no parents in the school because there were too many... sad but true.

[mommy68]

My youngest is in K and she likes when I take her to her class and sit before class each morning. There are two other children who absolutely will not go in the gym before school so their parents take turns watching them while the other goes on to work. : I think all kids should be taught to go to before school atleast some of the time so they get used to being without mom and dad. They stay all day long in class so why not before school?? I just don't get it.

In our school they require kids to stay in the gym before and after school. I drop my DD off in the gym 3 out of 5 days each week usually. I don't like sitting in her classroom. It gets me behind for the day and teaches her that she doesn't have to follow the school rules. She needs to learn to sit in the gym for 5-10 minutes until her teacher comes in to pick her class up to start the day. That's the way it's "supposed" to be done and that is what 90% of the kids in the school are doing. I think kindergarten is the best age to start teaching kids to follow the rules. What happens in first grade when they still don't want to go to the gym before school and each year after that? I see parents taking 3rd and 4th graders to their classes in my kids school. I think that is okay sometimes, but not every single day. That's absurd. When do they learn to be independent and follow rules that everyone else is?

I think things run smoother for a teacher if the kids do it the right way and there aren't parents coming and going in the classroom for those first frew minutes every morning and making kids get upset cause mommy is leaving them. They should get all that crying and stuff over with in the gym before school. My DD is in kindergarten and the crying is still going on now 1/2 way through the school year because there are a few whose parents refuse to tell their kids what to do and make them stay in the gym.

It has nothing to do with parents being involved either. Parental involvement in school is done through volunteering.

[lightheart]

Originally Posted by lightheart

There's very little parent involvement in our son's school so I think the would be estatic if they did have to make a rule no parents in the school because there were too many... sad but true.

I guess I didn't say that well, and I'm tounge tied now trying to put into words... but here goes... very few parents set foot on school grounds no matter what the reason so to have a rule 'don't walk your child into the school of a morning would kinda be weird.

still didn't come out right....

[s_kristina]

Most of the kids at dd's school are dropped off and picked up in the car line. We live in walking distance so dh takes her to her class room door in the morning. In the afternoon the classes come outside and wait on benches by the car line. I'm usually there waiting before her class gets there. Occasionally she is waiting with her class when I get there. I don't think there are many parents that are bringing their kids to the class door in the morning, but can't be sure as I rarely take her in the morning.

[wifeandmom]

I drop my Kindergarteners off in the carpool line.

I suppose I *could* walk them in if I wanted to, however adults have to go through the office, show ID, and get a pass in order to get inside the building. This is a safety issue that I applaud the school for being so insistent about. I have no fear of some random adult wandering through the school hallways because of the way they handle things.

It would be difficult, if not impossible, to heard 900+ parents through the office to drop their children off though. For this reason, I see why they strongly encourage parents to drop off their children either at the front door (walkers) or in one of the car pool lines (for those driving).

I walk mine to their class if they have something extra to bring in that day (big project or special snack to share, etc). Otherwise, I drop them off. It freaked me out in the beginning, but they do fine.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I have taken dd to school from day 1 in pre K I walk her to her room tell her bye and leave. I would say that 98% of the parents that drive their kids in do go to the room with them. She is now in 1st I think eventually she wont want me to walk her to class but until then I wont be changing.

I also walk to her room at 3pm to pick her up everyday.

Parents are allowed in the school and down the halls to the rooms before 8am and after 3pm in between that time you have to go by the office for permission.

If you go in 1 door in the morning to drop off you have to sign in but if you "sneak" in the other door you dont have to. I use the other door but there is a teacher on duty at that door and if they dont know you they wont let you in. So it isnt as bad as it sounded above.


Dd could sit in the gym before school but I dont like to leave her in there since all the kids head start, pre k - 8th are all in that gym. and they only have 1-2 teachers to suprivise.

She could easily get up walk out and goodness knows what happen to her. So I walk her to class and pick her up.

[DesireeH]

At the public school here, the kids lines up outside of the school (or in the gym if it is too cold) and are taken in by the teacher so no the parents do not go into the classroom everyday. If you are late, then you walk them in. At the end of the day, the teachers take them to the door leading out and release the kids to the parents.

Here too. We do have a kindergarten "gate" that we have to bring the kids through for safety reasons. You have to walk them in and once in the gate, they line up in their little lines and their teacher takes them into the classroom. You pick them up directly from the teacher (brings them out to the line) inside the kindergarten gate as well.

[jeca]

All my kids are at the same school. My 4th and 1st graders I drop off at the the front door of the school and watch them walk in. If we make it before 815(which is rare) they line up in the back of the school, all the teachers are out there waiting on them and they line up with their class. If we go that early I wait unitl they go into the school. My preschooler who goes in the afternoon I take into the classroom.

[NatureMommy]

All three of my boys went to different preschools. All three preschools required parents to sign the kids in and out. Two of the preschools were parent participation, requiring parents to work one day a month.

Our K-5 school has two drop offs. One is called the kindergarten turn around because it is right by the kindergarten compound. Parents dropping off their kindy age kids can literally watch their kids go into the fenced, supervised kingergarten playground. The other drop off is called "parent pick-up". Any kindy-aged kids dropped off there are escorted to the kindergarten compound by 5th grade "valets".

Parents are not actively discouraged from waiting for their children at the classroom door. However, the school requests the parent say goodbye and hello at the lunch tables and not by the classroom doors.

I volunteer at my children's schools on a regular basis. Weekly in the first grade classroom, as needed in the 5th grade room (usually once or twice a month), monthly at the media center in the middle school (my 7th graders classroom.

[Leatherette]

For K and first grade, I went into the classroom every day to drop off DS. Parents were also allowed to come early and listen to the teacher read to the students at the end of the day - the first grade teacher did this every day before dismissal.

The second grade teacher at DS's old school (he transferred this year) discourages the practice. I have to admit, it was distracting at times for some kid/parent pairs, but my son handled it well, and my daughter was not crying or yelling in the classroom, just sitting on me or in her sling.

This year, my son is at a new school, and I am teaching there. So he is usually in my room while I prep, and then I walk him down the hall to class. Sometimes I am there until the second bell, as he is very disorganized and needs help at times to get ready for the day. But I am usually out by the time the second bell rings.

His teacher sometimes loves to have us in there to chat at the end of the day, and some days, she is ready to get out of there. I respect that, knowing how many times I get stopped in halls and have parents wander into my room to chat. I love knowing parents, but it can happen at all the wrong times.

In general, our school gently tries to limit the amount of adults in the halls that are non-employees, as there are regular thefts occurring. The teacher in the room next to mine had a laptop and a wallet stolen recently, and I had my desk rifled through and small items taken last spring. During the day, when there are fewer parents in the building and visitor passes are required, it is not as much of an issue, but at the beginning and end of the day, adults don't all check in and get visitor passes.

L.

[leafylady]

My kids are in public school. I walk them into the school and walk the younger one to her room. Then I go check on my older one to make sure he remembers to go eat breakfast at school. I also go into the school to pick them up. I greet each teacher every morning and usually say goodbye to them every afternoon. Sometimes I will go sit with them in the cafeteria for a few minutes of breakfast. They love it. In fact, all of the kids seem to appreciate the parents who can come in and say hello for a few minutes in the morning. I often find myself cutting up pancakes for other peoples kids.

My children attend a small rural elementary school with an average class size of 15-18 students, so it's no disruption to have a few parents in the school. It really adds to the sense of community.