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Weird/funny conversations between parent and child

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
I looked for a simlar thread and couldn't find one, but I had to share this.
I just had this exchange with my older son (nearly 5):

"I am going to tie this (drawstring bag) to my penis"
"Please don't do that, it's dangerous to tie things to your penis."
"okay, I'll just wear it around my waist."
"...oookay.":
"Can I tie it to my butt?"
"no. Not a good idea." (I have no clue how he intended to do this)

Of course, he also suggested a few weeks ago that they should make people-flavored cookies.

Anyone else?

Maura
post #2 of 22
people-flavored? dare I ask?

yesterday, my dd was almost done with computer time (she's 3 1/2) I asked her if she wanted to help me make some cookies yesterday after she was done playing on the computer, and she told me, "You can do it mama, i believe in you! You go ahead and make those cookies!" and she totally blew me off! i thought i might have to wait til she was at least 11 before the blow-offs started, but nope. she's 3 going on 13. little shyte.
post #3 of 22
How about this one -- to get it, you need to understand that I'm white (in the skin color/race sense of the word) and DS is African American.

DS8: Some of my friends and white and some are black.
Me: Yep, you're right.
DS8: And some are brown. The black ones are the best (Huh?), but I like the white ones too. I like everyone.
Me: (just listening at this point trying to figure out where this is going).
DS8: I'm white, but I shouldn't feel bad about it, one day I'll be brown.
Me: (starting to stammer something out -- not sure how to even respond to that)
DS8: But first I need to be gold, and then green . . .

At this point I FINALLY figure out that he's talking about the sequence of Tae Kwon Do belts -- which start at white, go through a bunch of colors, and end up at brown and then finally black.
post #4 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momily View Post
How about this one -- to get it, you need to understand that I'm white (in the skin color/race sense of the word) and DS is African American.

DS8: Some of my friends and white and some are black.
Me: Yep, you're right.
DS8: And some are brown. The black ones are the best (Huh?), but I like the white ones too. I like everyone.
Me: (just listening at this point trying to figure out where this is going).
DS8: I'm white, but I shouldn't feel bad about it, one day I'll be brown.
Me: (starting to stammer something out -- not sure how to even respond to that)
DS8: But first I need to be gold, and then green . . .

At this point I FINALLY figure out that he's talking about the sequence of Tae Kwon Do belts -- which start at white, go through a bunch of colors, and end up at brown and then finally black.
Oh Please please please may I publish this n our dojo newsletter? It is PRICELESS!
laoxinat
post #5 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by laoxinat View Post
Oh Please please please may I publish this n our dojo newsletter? It is PRICELESS!
laoxinat
Laoxinat,

Approximately where do you live -- as long as it's not right around here I'd be fine with it. I thought it was pretty funny myself, but I'm not sure DS would appreciate it if people traced it back to him.
post #6 of 22
OK, I posted this a while ago, but it relates to the OP. Here goes:

DS: I wish I had three legs. I could run around on all three.

Me: oh, yeah?

DS: Hmm, but I wouldn't be able to have a penis.

Me: Hmm? Oh, yeah, three legs, where would it go.

DS: I guess it could go on my head.

Me: But then you would have to pee from your head, would you like that?

DS: NO, I guess I'll have the leg on my head.

Some other favorites:

DS2 (2) : Grumble, grumble, (undecipherable).

Me: Sweetie, I really can't understand what you are saying when you have Cookie Monster in your mouth.


another:

DS2 biting the couch: I eat it.

Me: Couches aren't for eating; they're for sitting on.


Or Me to both DS 1 & 2 (4 and 2): Hey, guys, please stop licking the refridgerator...:


I swear, I feel like I live in a nut house some times
post #7 of 22
My favourite funny conversation from my dd when she was three...

I had been working on delaying her nursing, she nursed very often and one day...

dd: Mommy I want some milk.

me: Why do you want to have some now?

dd: Because I make healthy choices and your milk is a healthy choice.

She had me there!
post #8 of 22
So, we have dd 4 and ds who's 2.5. We had no problems with teaching dd that she has a yoni. We have started to teach her about bodily parts, but yoni is still her preferred term. We've recently decided on lingam for penis, since dd was mentioning that while she has a yoni, her brother does not and she wanted to know what to call it. Well, since she asked me on the spot, I said ds has a penis. I come to learn that dh would rather not call the specific body parts their names as the dc do have a habit of asking questions about these parts in less then pleasant circumstances (like in front of of the in laws "Nana, do you have nipples?" or in the grocery store line "Mommy, you have the prettiest nipples!") Yes it's embarrassing, but I guess this bothers him publicly more than it does me. Unfortunately, once you mention it to dd, it's solidified in her mind, so now, dh and ds have "peanuts." As she mentioned to me recently, "mommy, we girls have yonis, but daddy and brother have 'peanuts'." That took me a minute to decipher before the old brain kicked in. I'm glad I think before I respond! :
post #9 of 22
You gotta understand that I have 9 month old twins, a girl and a boy. My girl crawls, but my son doesn't yet.

DD1 (3): Mama, Jamie is laughing. He likes to see Rachel crawl.

DH: He does. You know, one day soon Jamie will be able to crawl, too.

DD1: (looking delighted) And then he will be a girl, too!
post #10 of 22
My 3 year old had been playing with our dog, and I asked him to wash up for lunch. He said "Because I have dog germs on me, right?" I said yes, and he went on, "And do I have dog hormones on me?"

Yikes, I hope not!
post #11 of 22
one of my most odd for telling him is "Dont lick the baby, I dont care what daddy does!"

For him saying?
he will pat my head and tell me in a good boy, and ill say "no, im a girl." he says "oh. okay. girl. good boy!" and do it all over again, and over and over, lol. then hes gotten into arguments with daddy about "mommy has a peenie! where it go?" and (yanking his penis as high as it will go) "look! my tetculules!" and then pointing at his brother and saying "he has a penie and tetculules, too! "type stuff
post #12 of 22
DS picked up the word "boring" from school. Thing is, he was using it way out of context. One day we were going to shop at Target and I had told him he would get a treat. He was very excited.

DS: This is boring!
Me: What, going to Target and getting a treat?
DS: Yes.
Me: Well, I'm not sure that's boring... seems fun to me.
DS: Yeah, boring!
Me: Sweetie, what do you think boring means?
DS: Fun!
Me: Actually it means "not fun" or "not interesting." So going to the store to get a treat is fun, not boring.

DS looks at me here for a few seconds. Finally:

DS: Mama, boring may mean "not fun" for you, but it means "fun" for me!

OK, then.
post #13 of 22
When DS was about 14-15 months old, he would get really upset when people did the "got your nose" game--he thought they had REALLY taken his nose away. So we showed him how it worked, that it was really just the person's thumb poking out between their fingers, and that he could "get someone's nose" too.

So we were out for dinner with extended family, and DH and his brothers started talking about family resemblances. "I have dad's nose, and Dave, I think you have mom's nose," etc. DS leaned out of his high chair, reached for my face, and triumphantly yelled, "I got Mom's nose!"

A week later I was relating the story at Thanksgiving dinner, and at the punch line, where DS had "got my nose," I reached over and got his to demonstrate. His response to this was to scrunch up his face, noisily try to inhale, and state, "I not breathe."
post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momily View Post
Laoxinat,

Approximately where do you live -- as long as it's not right around here I'd be fine with it. I thought it was pretty funny myself, but I'm not sure DS would appreciate it if people traced it back to him.
Southern Arizona.....South of Tucson, even!!
post #15 of 22
when she was around tow, she fell down on her elbow and exclaimed,
"Ouch, I bumped my anus!"

also at around two, dd, talking directly to my breasts said, " Milks, do you like peeing in my mouth?"

she's almost three now, and a few moths ago while driving and listening to music, she had her sweater-hood up (restricting her hearing) and proclaimed, " Hey, with my hood up I can hear the music through my eyes!"

just yesterday, dp and her were heading off to lunch together and dd said, " Okay, Daddio, put a sock on your penis and let's get going!"

and one last one. she asked me the other day, " Why don't we have fingers inside our heads?"

I'm loving this thread; keep them coming!
post #16 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by laoxinat View Post
Southern Arizona.....South of Tucson, even!!
Then absolutely use it! We're a million miles from there.
post #17 of 22
these are hilarious! I'm lmbo!

Axel is not quite 3, but he's got a few cute things. Not really conversations, though.

the other day he was play argueing with dh, and said 'no no no, I'M the daddy and YOU are the Atso!'

recently he's started saying to himself, 'time to slap my cat!' is this from a show or something?? (he claims darby says it on 'tigger and pooh).

A
post #18 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by punchy View Post
also at around two, dd, talking directly to my breasts said, " Milks, do you like peeing in my mouth?"

post #19 of 22
:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momily View Post
How about this one -- to get it, you need to understand that I'm white (in the skin color/race sense of the word) and DS is African American.

DS8: Some of my friends and white and some are black.
Me: Yep, you're right.
DS8: And some are brown. The black ones are the best (Huh?), but I like the white ones too. I like everyone.
Me: (just listening at this point trying to figure out where this is going).
DS8: I'm white, but I shouldn't feel bad about it, one day I'll be brown.
Me: (starting to stammer something out -- not sure how to even respond to that)
DS8: But first I need to be gold, and then green . . .

At this point I FINALLY figure out that he's talking about the sequence of Tae Kwon Do belts -- which start at white, go through a bunch of colors, and end up at brown and then finally black.
post #20 of 22
My 5 yo. son the other day: "When dad gets old, and loses his hearing, could we buy him some earrings?"


(obviously he got "hearing aides" and "earrings" mixed up.)
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