or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › What do your kids call their step-grandparents?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

What do your kids call their step-grandparents?

post #1 of 38
Thread Starter 
My DH and I got married earlier this year and we are still trying to work out what the skids call my parents/step-parents. If you feel comfortable, could you please share what your kids/skids call their step-grandparents? Right now, we are halfheartedly calling them Grandma "first name", etc. but it doesn't feel right to me. Suggestions?? Oh and these are the first grandkids on my side of the family so there isn't a precedent for what the other grandkids call them.

TIA!
post #2 of 38
My kids all call their step-grandparents the same thing all their bio-grandkids call them. So my in-laws are known as Nana and Papa by all kids, and my folks are known as Grandma and Grandpa by all the kids.
post #3 of 38
Same here.

Since you dont have an established name, what would your choice be?
post #4 of 38
Right now, my future SD (yes, I omit the "future" here most of the time) just calls my parents by their first names. No biological grandchildren for my parents yet, either.

Once we're married, I know my mom would like some sort of grandparental title -- complicating things is that she'd want to be Grandma Firstname (that's what she called herself with regard to my cabbage patch kids), but my SO's late mother had the same first name, and SD might be confused (and my SO has legitimately expressed some concerns). So we're feeling things out, too.
post #5 of 38
Protolawyer, would it be possible to change the g-parent title a little? As in Grammy First Name and Grandma First Name? Even though the names are the same, the title is slightly different.
post #6 of 38
Grandma and Pop, same as the bio-grandkids
post #7 of 38
we do the Grandma first name thing.
post #8 of 38
Since DH and I started dating DSS has called my Mom Grandma Name....he did it at first to be cute but it just stuck. He calls my Dad Grandpa_ Name, but that took a bit longer since my Dad was always working lol.
post #9 of 38
When I was little we called all the grandparents Grandma and Grandpa, and if we needed to distiguish we would say "grandpa keegan" and so on. I agree that all the kids should call them all the same thing.
post #10 of 38
As far as I know, he calls them the same as whatever the rest of the grandkids do. My dh's parents are grammy and pa, and he refers to his SMama's Mom (to me atleast) as Grandma S---. We have more Grandma's in our family... if he just said "Mom, can I call Grandma?" It'd be "well, honey, sure. Did you mean Grandma A, Grandma G, Grandma F, Grandma S, or Grandma R?"
post #11 of 38
Mine don't have any bio grandkids yet, but it makes no difference. They get the regular grandparent names here. No first names at all. I might do it differently if they were older, but at 7 and 3 I figure they will know them as grandparents.
post #12 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shenjall View Post
Protolawyer, would it be possible to change the g-parent title a little? As in Grammy First Name and Grandma First Name? Even though the names are the same, the title is slightly different.
I'm thinking it would actually be easier to change what comes after "Grandma" (as my paternal grandmother is "Grammy" to us, and my maternal grandmother was "Nana," and my mom wants neither of those and she thinks "Granny" and "Bubbeh" (Yiddish) sound too old). Maybe append a middle name (although, if you can believe it -- my SO's mother had the same MIDDLE name, too!) or come up with a neat nickname. (Knowing my SD, who is VERY precise with titles, she might call my mom Step-Grandma Firstname. .)
post #13 of 38
We use Grandma and Grandpa First Name around here, too. Even for my stepparents. It is a little weird to use the Grandma title with my stepmom, though. She is about the same age as DSD's mom and my brother is a year younger than DSD. She just doesn't look like a grandma.
post #14 of 38
My step-daughter calls them by their "grandparent" names, just like my bio-kids do. My step-daughter was also the first grandchild, so there was no precedent. We knew we were going to have more kids, so we wanted to choose names that everyone would use. Besides, as members of a blended family, my whole family considers my step-daughter no different than any of our other kids, so we didn't think twice about having her use grandparent names. We have Oma & Opa, Pop & Omi, Meme & Pepe.

She calls her step-dad's parents by their first names. I always thought it was kind of odd, personally... Now that her mom and step-dad have another child, I am curious if her little brother will call his grandparents on his dad's side by their first names, too... or if they will try to switch my step-daughter to new names for them.... or if the two kids will call them two different things?
post #15 of 38
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the responses so far!

I guess there are two issues that are coming in to play here. The first is that calling my mom "Grandma D**" just doesn't sound right to me so I don't consistently refer to her as that when I speak to the kids about her. I always thought that when I had kids, she would have a different name, not sure what it would have been but not "Grandma". And since it doesn't look like bio children are in my future, there won't be the option to have them call her what my bio kids would call her.

The other thing is that I guess I am feeling a little put out that the skids don't feel the need to call my parents by grandparent names but they do call their step-dad's mom by her grandmother name. They also refer to his siblings as Aunt and Uncle whereas they don't do that with my siblings. I guess it is just something that I need to let go because I definately don't want the skids to feel pressure to call them something that they don't feel comfortable calling them. I sort of had the idea that if I could find a better name to call my mom, then I would use it all the time and it would "stick", you know?
post #16 of 38
Currently they are grandma and grandpa like the other kids call them, but DS and grandma have issues already and those names may change. However DH's dad will always be grandpa...no issues there.
post #17 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
Thanks for all the responses so far!

The other thing is that I guess I am feeling a little put out that the skids don't feel the need to call my parents by grandparent names but they do call their step-dad's mom by her grandmother name. They also refer to his siblings as Aunt and Uncle whereas they don't do that with my siblings. I guess it is just something that I need to let go because I definately don't want the skids to feel pressure to call them something that they don't feel comfortable calling them. I sort of had the idea that if I could find a better name to call my mom, then I would use it all the time and it would "stick", you know?
Have you tried to reinforce the titles by using them yourself when referring to family members? I know it's a thin line to walk, wanting to let them have some say in the matter as well, but they might *want* to be encouraged to use titles, like they are family. It might feel more welcoming to them to be encouraged to use grandparent/aunt/uncle names. Not sure to what extent you may have already tried this, but it's just a thought.
post #18 of 38
Well have they had the step-father and therefore his familiar ties longer than you and your family have been in the picture? I mean that might make a difference especially if they were still pretty little when he joined the family and are older now and more like to not feel your parents are their grandparents at all.

My stepmom was my stepmom before I had kids and already had grandkids so she's MeMe to my kids as well. My stepdad raised me from a very young age and he is Grandpa. STBX's stepfather was likewise already in the family before kids and he is Paw-Paw. I think it's far more likely that step-grandparents get typical grandparent names when they are there at the time of the birth kwim? Meaning basically when the grandparent is the step-parent of the bio-parent vs the bioparent of a step-parent kwim?
post #19 of 38
grampa bill, and linda for the other step-gradparent.
post #20 of 38
Is there a reason you aren't just letting the kids and the grandparents find their own answers to this? Especically seeing as they are older?

One of the trickiest things about blended families is letting everyone handle the relationships they with the others. Eventually everyone tends to work out for themelves how they can relate to each other.

(obviously I do not meant that anyone should ignore a child in a harmful relationship)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › What do your kids call their step-grandparents?