My stepfather is fabulous. I can't think of anything he didn't do for me.
I actually rarely even refer to him as my stepfather - he is my dad!
These are the things he did that really stood out for me -
1.When he started dating my mother he took my sister and me out too. He asked us how we felt about him hanging out with our family. he and my mother did things alone but we also did lots of things all together and jus with him.
When they got engaged he asked us how we would feel about becoming a family. Allof us children were included in their wedding ceremony.
2. He always referred to me and my sister as his daughters. Not "Leslie's girls" or "my stepkids" but simply his daughters. He even refers to my dh as his son! He now refers to our children (including my
) as his grandchildren. He actually asked that we please have the grandkids refer to him as "Grampa" because he had to call his granparents "Grandfather and Grandmother *lastname*" and he thinks it affected their relationships. He didn't want to be this cold, detached person for his grankids the way his grandparents were for him.
3. He never took sides with his biological children over my sister and me. He did have kind an old fashioned attitude about the boys doing more physical chores and the girls doing more homemaking - which never bothered m, I liked that stuff and I also like being "daddy's little girl" - but he treated all of us girls the same. In fact, of all my siblings he and I probably have the best relationship.
4. All through highschool he continued to do special things with each of us. I went away to boarding school and he was usually the one to come and get me for breaks. I really treasure the conversations we had on our drives to and from school. He made an effort to know us - and he does, really well. I still get phone calls from him when he's heard something ona radio show he thinks I might like, or to ask if I heard about this or that. When he visits he brings me books he has read that he thinks I might like, that kind of thing.
5. He was really open with us - he wasn't blabbing about his sex life or anything, but he shared his life experiences and how he tried to process them with us willingly. He and my mom struggled and he always let us know how things were going. When I reached adulthood he even asked for advice sometimes.
6. He never said bad things about our biological father and that side of our extended family, even though just about anything he could have said would have been justifiable. I know, just because I know him so well, that he can't help but hate my bd, but he never actually said
anything about him. It can't have been easy, but I think it was another sign of his respect for us, espcially my sister. She had a very hard time with bd - love/hate.
7. He is a really good role model all around - he works really hard and is know for being an unusually honest business man, he is very much involved in community and social programs, he doesn't overindulge in anything,he eats very well and is active, he is constantly trying to "improve" himself - he has in college all through our childhood, after that he started taking seaman's classes and is now a licensed sailboat captain....
In case you can't tell, I
him. I even named my little boy after him!
Anyway, it thought it might be helpful for you to know what a wonderful stepparent looks like along with the not so great ones. He hasn't been a good stepparent, but a really respectful, loving, supportive parent