Unsupportive stepmom is trying to scare my Boyfriend about homebirths...

[goldfawn]

had a lovely day (despite trying on 20+ pairs of maternity jeans and not finding a single one with that perfect fit!) of Holiday shopping and just alone time, thinking about what this baby will be like, etc... I returned home to Boyfriend and he seemed a little weird. After a few minutes he mentioned that today he told his stepmom that we are planning a home birth (Now, this is a woman that is a super richy, conservative stuffy pants. She pretends to be all interested in the arts and culture but really she just wants to fit in with the other ladies who lunch. Stepmom has made it clear that she thinks naturopathic drs are 'witch drs" and con artists" etc. I have had to debate with her and ask her to respect my choices/opinions many times. She is ANNOYING!! . Boyfriend goes on to tell me how she said "oh well if my daughter had had a home birth she would've died, she would've bled to death. Hopefully M's not a bleedder." I asked Boyfriend what else she said and he clammed up and said "it doesn't matter, it didn't bother me." but I can tell it did bother him and plant seeds of doubt/negativity about our choice. Boyfriend admitted she said other things but wouldn't go into it because I was getting upset.
I am trying so hard to make this be a positive time and not have any uptight thoughts surrounding this natural, normal, beautiful, magical time. Last thing I need is Boyfriend (during the sure to be lengthy labor, first child was 26 hours hard) wondering if i'm a "bleeder"!!
I resisted the urge to call stepmom and tell her to but out. now I am just trying to "peace it out" and let it go but honestly, I am irritated.

[phoebemommy]

Have you asked your midwife what she'd do if you turned out to be a "bleeder"? I'm sure she knows just what to do. Though I hear you -- my MIL was similarly a PITA with the fearmongering, and she didn't know what she was talking about either.

[goldfawn]

Originally Posted by phoebemommy

Have you asked your midwife what she'd do if you turned out to be a "bleeder"? I'm sure she knows just what to do. Though I hear you -- my MIL was similarly a PITA with the fearmongering, and she didn't know what she was talking about either.

yeah, I mean, I AM a bleeder technically but I have faith in my midwife and naturopathy so I am not worried, that and, I do live 5 blocks from the best er in town.
My first birth, was a well... a bit of a bloodbath, but it was fine and my midwife just watched me extra careful for a bit.

[akvtmama]

My BFF had a birth at a birth center this spring with a midwife and prolapsed uterus...super duper rare and scary but she transfered to the er ( across town) and survived, and she wouldn't trade her midwife birth center birth for anything, it was beautiful. She was told having good iron really helped so tell your boyfriend that you will be extra conscious to keep your iron levels high in case you do "bleed" and your midwife should bring IV fluids in case of emergency and thats about as good anything as far as danger goes

And that is total last resort stuff , 1st line of defense is obviously herbs, homeopathy etc, but to make you boyfriend and his family feel safer tell them about the emergency plan, because you already know it's gonna work out just fine

[Mamabeakley]

Also, the fact that your 1st labor was 26 hours and you had a pph DOESN'T mean your second will be anything like. My 1st labor was 22 hours and I had a pph. My 2nd labor was 6.5 hours and I did not hemorrhage at all. Both were at home, both were attended by CNMs. I had pit and methergyn after my 1st birth, and used some herbs and ate more iron-rich food before my 2nd birth.

Good luck!