My sister has 3 wonderful girls, P (14), Y(13) and E(11).
My sister had P at 20 and got some very bad advice regarding CIO. She was told then that she had to let P CIO every morning so that her lungs would get stronger. P and Y have an 18month difference between them and when Y was born my sister started to have a very different attitude towards P. P, I believe was just entering the terrible twos so with the new baby Y, I would assume it was difficult for her as well. My sister started resenting P very much and at some point even told me that she did not love P and was just forcing herself to. Any sign of affection that P would give her (the mom), she was basically disgusted with and would just force herself to accept it. I have to admit, P was and still is a somewhat difficult child. She does have issues (not sharing with siblings, always wanting to have more, etc etc) but I think a lot of it stemmed from the CIO and eventual rejection of her mom.
Fast forward to present, P is approaching adolescence and just told me today how she does not want to be home anymore because she's never happy there. There's also the added stress that my sister and her husband are going through a VERY rough patch in their marriage and the kids know about it It just breaks my heart so much because I love my nieces to death. My sister is not a bad mom but I just think that her and P got into this vicious cycle that's hard to get out of now. I firmly believe that since my sister is the adult and the mom here, she must exert waaayyy more effort into this relationship. And she is, but I don't think she has the tools.
Any books that I can direct her to? Or even send her (we live in different countries)?
I am really affected by P's disclosure to me because I took care of them when I was still single and whenever their parents were out for weeks on business trips. I love them as my own and now that I have a baby myself, I have more compassion and love for them.
My sister had P at 20 and got some very bad advice regarding CIO. She was told then that she had to let P CIO every morning so that her lungs would get stronger. P and Y have an 18month difference between them and when Y was born my sister started to have a very different attitude towards P. P, I believe was just entering the terrible twos so with the new baby Y, I would assume it was difficult for her as well. My sister started resenting P very much and at some point even told me that she did not love P and was just forcing herself to. Any sign of affection that P would give her (the mom), she was basically disgusted with and would just force herself to accept it. I have to admit, P was and still is a somewhat difficult child. She does have issues (not sharing with siblings, always wanting to have more, etc etc) but I think a lot of it stemmed from the CIO and eventual rejection of her mom.
Fast forward to present, P is approaching adolescence and just told me today how she does not want to be home anymore because she's never happy there. There's also the added stress that my sister and her husband are going through a VERY rough patch in their marriage and the kids know about it It just breaks my heart so much because I love my nieces to death. My sister is not a bad mom but I just think that her and P got into this vicious cycle that's hard to get out of now. I firmly believe that since my sister is the adult and the mom here, she must exert waaayyy more effort into this relationship. And she is, but I don't think she has the tools.
Any books that I can direct her to? Or even send her (we live in different countries)?
I am really affected by P's disclosure to me because I took care of them when I was still single and whenever their parents were out for weeks on business trips. I love them as my own and now that I have a baby myself, I have more compassion and love for them.
