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Rude questions people ask when you are pregnant.... - Page 2

post #21 of 105
Thread Starter 
I finishing up my degree right now in Nutrition and Food at CSUS. I will be done in 3 weeks. I think people think this is unplanned since I am still in school while in fact it is perfectly timed for us because I plan on being done with school and staying home to raise my child rather then starting a career to only stop it after a year or so to have a child. I would rather do my SAHM thing until my child goes to school and then maybe think about starting a new part time career. My husband and I are accustomed to our life style living on his income so it won't be a huge financial adjustment. A lot of Mom's I know would love to be SAHM but don't want to adjust their lifestyle to living on one income. This is not a knock on working Mom's BTW, I'm just saying once you become used to a certain standard of living, it can be hard to go back even if you want to.
post #22 of 105
No one has ever said anything rude to me. Some people have touched me, which I don't like, but usually they're older women at church and since they mean well, I don't have the heart to rip their heads off. They're surrogate grandparents most of them anyhow. The nurse in our office who is a little eccentric, but very loving actually kissed my belly today. Kinda weird, but I've been going there 8 years and she's been a sweetheart to us and our kids, so I can live with it.
post #23 of 105
Yes! I got the "are you still pregnants" too. why WOULDNT I be? grrrr..

I think people just get really uncomfortable when someone miscarries and they dont know how to handle it. I got a lot of "well now you get to make another, thats the fun part!" and "better now than laters!". People are just weird.
post #24 of 105
When I found out I was pg, a friend told me "Don't worry - it's early, and a lot of them don't take - especially the first time."

I may not have planned this baby, but I'm not unhappy about him and I'd never wish a miscarriage on me or anyone! :
post #25 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishcupcake View Post
When I found out I was pg, a friend told me "Don't worry - it's early, and a lot of them don't take - especially the first time."

I may not have planned this baby, but I'm not unhappy about him and I'd never wish a miscarriage on me or anyone! :

post #26 of 105
My daughter was born while I was preparing for my Ph.D. comps and I am finishing my dissertation while I'm cooking this one, so I know what you mean about grad school--the assumption is that you don't really want to be having a kid! But it's a great time to have your babies. Certainly better than while you're trying to get tenure.

The weirdest thing that anyone ever said to me when I was pregnant (last time--so far we're not telling this time and I really just look fat, so there you go) was that I was working part-time at a used bookstore and an elderly customer came in. He looked at me and said, "Wow, you look just like my wife." I said, "Oh, really?" and he said, "Yes. Well, like she looked at your age. I don't know what she would look like now; she died in childbirth."

!

I was 8.5 months along at the time.
post #27 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by athansor View Post
Well, this may top it all...I have a co-worker who came into my office on a Monday and asked...."so, are you still pregant?"
OMg! This JUST happened to me! I was due on Thanksgiving (still gestating) and the student who works for me (college student, 20 years old) asked me on WEDNESDAY if I'd had the baby yet! I was standing up! I am SO BIG I get the "Are you sure it isn't twins?" question all the time. :

That wasn't rude, just clueless.

About a month ago, the cashier where I bought my lunch asked if I was pregnant (duh.) And then she asked me how much weight I had gained.
post #28 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by mchalehm View Post

The weirdest thing that anyone ever said to me when I was pregnant (last time--so far we're not telling this time and I really just look fat, so there you go) was that I was working part-time at a used bookstore and an elderly customer came in. He looked at me and said, "Wow, you look just like my wife." I said, "Oh, really?" and he said, "Yes. Well, like she looked at your age. I don't know what she would look like now; she died in childbirth."

!

I was 8.5 months along at the time.
Oh good lord.
post #29 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by dcgrl View Post
OMg! This JUST happened to me! I was due on Thanksgiving (still gestating) and the student who works for me (college student, 20 years old) asked me on WEDNESDAY if I'd had the baby yet! I was standing up! I am SO BIG I get the "Are you sure it isn't twins?" question all the time. :

That wasn't rude, just clueless.

About a month ago, the cashier where I bought my lunch asked if I was pregnant (duh.) And then she asked me how much weight I had gained.
Well, ya know, due dates are carved in stone...so you SHOULD have had the baby by now. : Or did someone forget to give the baby the deadline?!?!
post #30 of 105
It'd be rude/weird elsewhere, but here it was just a joke...

"If it's a girl, you should let me have it."

See, people here are much more open and casual about adoptions. People adopt cousins, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc. with GREAT frequency. The woman who made that comment to me has five boys and REALLY wants a girl. I just responded, "Nah, you're so good with boys. I'll let you have it if it's a boy."

She goes, "Noooooooooooooo!"

Like I said, anywhere else, it'd be weird. Here it was just casual joking banter.
post #31 of 105
This isn't quite so offensive of some of the things that you guys have heard, but if one more person says "enjoy this time... they're SO much easier to care for on the inside!" I'm going to beat them senseless.

I have had a difficult pregnancy, haven't been able to work for the past 3 weeks due to pain, and I'm already post-dates. I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore, and I can't wait to meet my little Bean!
post #32 of 105
The planned/unplanned thing doesn't bother me. My pregnancy is planned, but if it wasn't and somenone asked me that, I wouldn't mind.
post #33 of 105
I hate the shock and awe moments of saying my kids will be 14 months apart... with the following exclamation of "YOU'RE CRAZY!" then followed prying of my personal life of "was it planned?"
I get al sorts of stupid comments with this conversation like... "so you got pregnant the first time you had sex!" (referring to after delivery of #1)... com'mon people do the math!!!!

Oh, and I hate the... 'you're delivering at home? so, what type of drugs do you get?'

I hate talking about pregnancy, but, manage a maternity store, so everyone thinks they're an expert and is dying to know.
post #34 of 105
"Was this planned?"
Nope...we don't believe in scheduling sex nights. Spontinaity is the name of the game here.

"What are you having?"
A child. A human child we hope.

"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"
Yup. (Why don't you think about that question a wee little bit longer and see where any confusion might be found from my answer?)

"Don't you know your son is getting too heavy for you to hold?"
If he was too heavy, perhaps I'd be dropping him? See, I've picked him up every day of his life, pre-birth even...it's a gradual thing. Go from 8 pounds in-arms to 30+ pounds in-arms over the span of 2 years...I'm pretty sure I can hack it.

"So when are you due?"
Depends on the bill. Certain bills come at certain times of the month and must be paid accordingly.

"You've lost weight! You shouldn't do that when you're pregnant!"
Um, yeah...I totally wanted the severe nausea that traditionally accompanies me through my first trimester. I should have completely ignored it, sat on my butt and eaten bon-bons.

"Oh, I just love to feel baby bellies!" [as hand reaches out and touches my stomach]
I think, with this pregnancy, I'm going to reach over and do the exact same thing. My increasing size is not a welcome mat for hands. Sorry, I'm just not a touchy-feely person with anyone beyond my family. Honestly, how many men do you wander up to and start rubbing their beer bellies?

Seriously though, most people have been very nice about this. It's just some of the off-the-wall questions that make me want to respond with "Do you think that's really appropriate?"
post #35 of 105
I don't like being touched, period.

I think the comments that disturb me most are ones from idiots about circumcision. Drives me crazy!

I also cannot stand when I tell someone I have a midwife they say, "So what does that mean?" UGHH... It means I CHOSE a midwife over an OB.

The WORST, WORST, WORST of all is when people tell me I will not be able to birth a child without medication. I have literally had a women laugh at me and say, "Your kidding, right? You wont be able to do it without medicine, boy would I like to see that!" OR when my Grandmother told me, "Your pain tolerance it too low, you wont be able to do it. You get upset when you have cramps from your period." OKAY... Tell me, what reason do I have to sit through a day of horrifically painful period cramps? Exactly...


I have had women tell me i'm "too small" or i'm "too big"... and considering this is my first child, I would prefer to surround myself with positive birth experiences not "OH YEAH I RIPPED ALL THE WAY TO MY BUTTHOLE!" or when my friend who was induced with potocin says "Oh the contractions hurt so bad, you wont be able to handle it." I just wanna say "THOSE WERE NOT NATURAL CONTRACTIONS!" ughhh

ok, i'm done.
post #36 of 105
yarg!
All of these people in the world? Did they all come from the stupid gene pool or some such thing?

When my, ever so tactful, MIL announced way too early that I was pregnant one of the cousins commented to me that they don't understand why I was so happy about it, after I hadn't tried that long.

Sigh. I tried hard to get pregnant, all sorts of mean drugs, ending with 3 weeks on the injectable variety. Yes I was very happy to finally be pregnant, as would any mother be. And frankly if anyone tries even for a month when they really want it, it's long and horrible! Some people!

Or the comments I get when people realize we are co-sleeping, cloth diapering and home birthing. OOOOOO I want their heads to explode!
post #37 of 105
With my dd, I was days away from my edd. I am 5'2" tall and had gaine 50 pounds. I'll admit, I was huge. HOWEVER...I didn't need to hear it. I was riding up the elevator at work to get my 200th glass of ice water for the day (I was severely anemic and have PICA, so I was eating the ice like it was chocolate). I was riding with a woman...a larger woman. She looked at me and said "Wow! You're HUGE!" I wanted to counter with "right back at ya" and to this day I'm still a bit irritated that I didn't.

And then with my ds, at 6 months I looked like I was going to pop. People would ask me ALL the time when I was due. I'd tell them and their eyes would widen. "Is it twins?" Uh, nope. Just one very well-protected baby.

This time, it's not really rudeness. It's concern, but I'm SOOOO sick of hearing "how are you feeling?" I had m/s with dd. I had WORSE m/s with ds. I have been puking my guts out most days, I have had a yeast infection AND a minor UTI, I currently have sinus and ear infection. I'm nauseous and am starting with the round ligament pain...at 8 weeks. I feel like crap. I'm thrilled to death to be pregnant and I'll take the misery with a smile, but how do I feel? Like crap.
post #38 of 105
I get my belly rubbed and it drives me nuts. I think I'm going to start rubbing people's bellies right back, It makes me feel like a Buhdda!

"do you want a boy or a girl." Really annoys me. I know I am having a boy, and if I said I wanted a girl-what if it got back to him?? When I responded I want a healthy baby-people say-"C'mon what do you really want!" That just makes me crazy!

The other one I got when I was 4 months pregnant was "Are you still working?" I wanted to respond "Are you willling to pay my mortgage?" I WOH and I plan on continuing to WOH after the baby is born-I have to we will lose our house without my income! However even if I was planning on being a SAHM-I don't see being 4 months pregnant as a reason to not work!
post #39 of 105
I think the question I've found most offensive so far was 'So, can you still balance on the back of the motorbike?'. Way to make me feel like a giant elephant creature... and especially ironic given that I'm five months pregnant and measuring small. In fact, this same woman had told me not two days previously how small I was... and what, now I can't fit on the back of a motorbike? Furthermore, given that my husband and I had just arrived at church IN MOTORBIKE GEAR, I had CLEARLY 'managed' to 'balance' just fine, thank you very much!

Ooh, that's making me mad just remembering it. I think it's just the grotesque image that comment conjures up that seems so... vulgar. 'Still balance' indeed. Grrrrpfft. I'm not at the ginormous, waddling stage yet--and when I get there, the last thing I'll need is comments like that! I'm sensitive about my appearance--since when does my being pregnant give you the right to make personal remarks, huh?
post #40 of 105
No one's said anything rude to me yet---But being pretty overdue, I expect someone to open their yap any day now.

The closest comments that fit the theame of this thread came from my SIL at Thanksgiving when she first saw me walk in the door---keep in mind very few people have been told (my mom, her friend and preggo daughter, my mom's co-workers, another family friend and my brother and SIL):

her---"Holy crap, you're knocked up! Did you guys plan it?"
me---"No, we didn't. We're thinking about using the condom company name for the middle name."

her---"Do you know what it is yet?"
me---"We're thinking it's either part monkey, or part gorilla, like everyone else in this family."
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