Not really RUDE but annoying... "Have you thought of any names?" Every time I hear that (feels like about 100 times a week) I just want to pull on my hair and scream, "Shut up shut up shut up!"
post #81 of 105
12/4/07 at 12:38am
I've gotten "Who's the father?" instead of "Congratulations" with both single pregnancies, usually in an accusatory voice and accompanied by a judgemental glare.
This time it's actually kind of fun. I don't expect the average person to understand the kind of drama and emotional roller coaster that is involved with known donors, but believe me, if any partner of mine, male or female, had been willing to go through that for me s/he would have earned the title of "father". Since I had to do it myself, my standard answer is:
"There isn't one."
Some peple let it go at that....SOME people....others launch right into their tirades:
"There is simply no excuse for such bitterness! I don't care who he is or what he did, he is STILL the father and you have no right to deprive him of HIS child just because you wanted more money or got in some silly argument because he didn't want to marry you! You're not even very pretty! I can't say I blame that man at all! Justice WILL be served and you wll NOT be allowed to get away with this blah blah blah blah blah."
I just let them rant and rave and maybe egg them on with a few, "Do you really feel that way?"s or "Why do you think that is true?"s before I come in for the kill.
"Actually, no matter what you think of me and my family, there is no father. There was a donor who received adequate compensation for his time and trouble. My older children and I are very grateful for his willingness to help us complete our family."
I LOVE the way their eyes pop out of their heads.
I can only hope that they will say "Congratulatons!" to the next 22 year old unexpectedly pregnant lady who is having to deal with lack of support, a custody battle, and the death of her romantic dreams on top of all the discomforts and insecurities of pregnancy.
I hate the Planned question because I firmly believe in not/not'ing, meaning that whenever GOD has planned for us to have another, we'll get pg (which happened!). So if people in church ask, I always say "of course! We left it open to God's plan"
This isn't a pregnancy one, but right after ds was born (I was 17), I was out shopping with him and some little old lady came up to me and started telling me what a nice big sister I was for taking him shoppng with me. When I told her he was my son, she chewed me out for being too young to have a baby.