In our 30s with Our First Babe - December

[dctexan]

This thread is for anyone who waited until they were 30+ to have their first baby.

CURRENT MEMBERS
momofsage (Jen) 40 : Sage born May 10, 2005
~PurityLake~ (Katreena) 33 mama of two babes borns in her 30s!
Her youngest : Sophia was born Aug 22, 2006
jaxensmommy (Jeri) 36 : Jaxen born September 29, 2006
MommyMichele (Michele) 35 mama to one babe born just shy of 30 and two other babes born in her 30s. Her youngest is : Ian born November 06, 2006
Mama2Bean 36 : born November 30, 2006
granolalight (Becky) mama to 2 babes born in her 30s!
Her youngest is : Eli born December 02, 2006
nylecoj (Jocelyn) 32 : born December 12, 2006
pacificbliss (Dawn) 33 : born December 30, 2006
elsa1975 (Isil) 32 : Defne born January 03, 2007
BeagleMommy (Susan) 34 : Ruth Evelyn born January 11, 2007
AnamCara (Kerensa) 34 : born March 01, 2007
Frannyo 39 : Maggie born March 09, 2007
didkisa (Colleen) 34 : Miranda Ann born March 27, 2007
serenitii (Melissa) 34 : Logan born March 29, 2007
Pumpkin Pie (Kim) 33 : born April 2007
mummytastic (Julie) 35 mama to 2 babes born whiles in her 30s!
Her youngest was born April 2007
merliss (Gena) 32 : Grayce born April 02, 2007
peacelovingmama (Kate) 37 mama to 3 babes born while in her 30s!
Her youngest is : Grahame Charlotte born April 09, 2007
jocelyndale (Jocelyn) 31 : Ronan born April 21, 2007
kdtmom2be (Kristen) 31 : Kayleigh born May 05, 2007
jessma (Jessma) 36 : Lennox Matthew born May 22, 2007
rock dr (CJ) : Gabriella born June 05, 2007
AnnD (Ann) 36 mama to 4 babes born in her 30s!
Her youngest is : Sean born June 13, 2007
acp (Amanda) 32 : Willa born June 15, 2007
preeniemamarach (Rachel) 35 : born July 07,2007
farmama : Natalina born July 17, 2007
Clarissa1973 (Clarissa) 34 : Elias Nathaniel born July 23, 2007
mom to B 31 : Bryson born July 25, 2007
edenluna (Eden) 36 : Ruby born August 02, 2007
nikkihoi 37 : Marshall born Aug. 4, 2007
eri_flores (Erianna) : 31 Ariel Efrain born Aug. 10, 2007
cornpicker 33 : Jonah Harrison Aug. 15, 2007
PiePie 36 : Lorelei Siobhan born Aug. 16, 2007
kelluna 32 : born Aug. 16, 2007
pokeymama 35 : John born August 22, 2007
greengrey (Alex) 30 : Layla born Aug. 25, 2007
dctexan (Emily) 34 : Benjamin born Sept. 1, 2007
veganone (Elizabeth) 34 : Isabella Lourdes Sofia born Sept. 3, 2007
plummum 36 : Sinead Summer born Sept. 3, 2007
beckyphry (Becky) 32 : Maya Rose born Sept. 7, 2007
stickywicket67 (Rachel) 39 : Tobias Jude born on September 13, 2007
hazieluna (Natalia) 36 : Aidan Sebastian born Sept. 15, 2007
ATD Mom 32 : Alasdair William born Sept. 16, 2007
Down to Earth (Laura) 30 : Elizabeth Grace born Sept. 18, 2007
~minnow~ (Lane) 31 : Adelaide Beatrix born Sept. 20, 2007
K9sarchik (Laura) 38 : Gavin Rutgar born Sept 20, 2007
Amberella : Nathaniel John born September 30, 2007
jpiper0430 (Jenn) 31 : Eleanor Diane born October 10, 2007
MajorGroover (Dee) 32 : Mathilde born November 10, 2007
Grace24 (Julia) 36 : Oliver Roland born November 24, 2007


Although many of us have followed each other from the TTC and pregnancy forums, newcomers are welcome and encouraged to join in any time! If you are new, please introduce yourself by stating as much info as you feel comfortable sharing such as your name & age as well as your baby's info (name, sex, DOB, etc.).

Now let's chat!

[dctexan]

Hi ladies, I am one day early starting this thread, but since time on the computer can be scarce, I figured I should do this while I had the chance.

[~PurityLake~]

One day early, good job!

I just want to say quickly, that I wish there were more moms with toddlers posting here.
I feel out of place.
But I'm giving you another month, since I subbed to this thread.
I guess I'll see how it goes.
Even though my youngest is only 15 months, remembering the babe days seem so far away.

so, to all you toddler moms in your 30's, let me know I'm not alone!

[~minnow~]

Morning!

Thanks for the lurve and support on the other thread, Pie and others.

Becky and PiePie, any progress with the daycare?

Julia, thanks for the bottle link. That bottle looks cool and I like that it is pthalate/bisphenol free... but backordered. If my current hippie bottles don't work out I'm going to try those.

Emily, I'm glad your experiments yielded something useful.

CJ, OMG, that photoshoot slays me.

Katreena, hope some toddler moms come out of hiding for you.

I love hearing the birth experiences of everyone. I think on the Pregnant thread someone suggested that the first page link to everyone's birth story and pictures. Not all of us have birth stories posted but I do like that idea.

As for labor: um yeah. I think the very first thing I wrote when I announced the birth to you all on the other thread was that "I was terrible in labor." I resisted like crazy. I KNEW that I was supposed to "relax" but are you kidding me? So if it were possible to stall your own labor, I should have. (CJ, let go of that idea! That it was your subconsious!) But labor didn't do anything to change my mind about only having one kid. It's interesting, though, that more of you, like me, felt bad about not relaxing... even though the trajectories of our labors were all so different. Let's just say we all did a great job.

Hi lurkers! Labor hurts but you can do it.

[dctexan]

Someone asked in the Nov. thread which milk storage bags I use...
I use First Years. No problems with leaks (and I defrosted all of my previously frozen milk before I dumped it), but I never put more than 4oz in a bag at a time and I also lay the bags down flat (with the excess air squeezed out) to freeze. The one thing I don't like is that the measurements on the side of the bag are off (when I put 4 oz of milk in the bag, the bag measures closer to 6oz), but whatever. I just measure from the pumping bottle and mark the correct amount on the bag.

Katreena - I do hope some of the mama's with older kiddos will join - I guess it all depends on when you stop considering your child a babe and start thinking about them as a toddler. You might want to start a similar thread in the toddler forum (then you could get advice and support there, but still stay here to share your winsdom/experience with us newbie mama's)

re labor pain: You know I clearly remember thinking that labor hurt so so badly and I clearly remember saying and thinking "this child will be an only because I am NEVER EVER doing this again". However despite remembering those things and knowing that I really and truly meant it at the time, I now feel like I could go through it again. How crazy is that? Not that I want to be pregnant right now nor am I even sure we want more than one child, but I do find it very strange that after only 13 weeks I am willing to consider experiencing labor again even though it was one of the hardest most painful experiences in my life. I think you must become a little bit crazy once you are a mom

[Dee-Groovy]

Wow Emily you got the new thread started a day early - good job! Keep us posted on the results of your breastmilk experiment. I'm impressed that you're doing a scientific experiment w/ controls as well.

Lane did you talk to your ped on Friday? I'm sorry I didn't post but I've been thinking about you and Ada.

Julia part of the reason I didn't post my birth story was so I didn't scare the preggos, especially you who were only 2 weeks behind me. I was basically totally unprepared and got an epidural at 4 cm. It was starting to hurt really badly & I was already shaking and crying through contrax, so I couldn't imagine how much worse it was going to get. It was the best thing ever and I will have them for any and all subsequent births! Of course the biggest drawback was almost 2 hours of pushing after not eating for almost 24 hours (I also had to have pitocin, which I desperately wanted to avoid). I think she turned at some point during labor too b/c I remember seeing her whole body on my left side during pushing and the nurse saying she wasn't pushing on my cervix evenly. I can't remember who mentioned it, but my doc tore me manually also (to avoid an episiotomy) and I felt shocked and violated by that - I never even heard of that before! I finally managed to birth her vaginally 34 hours after my water broke, with the epi wearing off and the clock running out on an emergency c-section. I lost a ton of blood, nearly fainted after birth and was severely anemic for a couple of weeks afterward. So I feel really conflicted about the experience. I got the vaginal birth I wanted and was happy that the epi worked for me. OTOH I my doc was a jerk (never seen that side of him before, even DH was shocked), DH didn't get to catch the baby like he planned and I was just really overwhelmed and exhausted by the experience. So that's the short version of my birth story. I have total respect for those who can birth drug-free but I also think they're a little insane too.

Thanks again for all the encouragement on BFing. I met w/ the LC again on Thursday. She saw that both my nipples and I are a wreck so she advised pumping & letting someone else feed the baby so I can get some rest. I'm also sad to report that I've been supplementing w/ formula for the past couple days, just to keep her full b/c I didn't have a BM stash. It's been emotionally gut-wrenching, especially after what I put my nipples through to avoid formula, but it's not bad for her and it's so nice not to tense up with dread every time she wants to eat. There's a little comfort in knowing that I'm mixing my BM in with the formula and that I couldn't have gone on BFing w/o risking long-term nipple damage. Gripe Water is helping with her gassiness too. I can't believe she's 3 weeks old today - it's been such a blur!

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by dctexan

Katreena - I do hope some of the mama's with older kiddos will join - I guess it all depends on when you stop considering your child a babe and start thinking about them as a toddler. You might want to start a similar thread in the toddler forum (then you could get advice and support there, but still stay here to share your wisdom/experience with us newbie mama's)

Hmm, well, they are toddlers, but I still call them my babes.
They've been toddlers since they were 10 months old!

But I thought this was not just for moms of babes, but for moms who HAD babes when in their 30's.
Oh, well, I guess I read it wrong.

[~minnow~]

Originally Posted by ~Purity?Lake~

But I thought this was not just for moms of babes, but for moms who HAD babes when in their 30's.
Oh, well, I guess I read it wrong.

It's just that this particular group of women first coalesced on the TTC threads, then moved on to a preggo thread. I think we're trying to expand here, to open the doors to ANY moms with babes in their 30s (like you!)... but it just happens that thread "got started" by some women who all happened to be at the same point in trying to get, and then succeeding at getting, pregnant. That's the reason a lot of us happen to be new mamas.

[acp]

Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~

But I thought this was not just for moms of babes, but for moms who HAD babes when in their 30's.
Oh, well, I guess I read it wrong.

I don't think you read it wrong (at least not as I understand it), I think people just meant that because this thread is in the "Life With a Babe" forum there are probably fewer mothers of toddlers on it. However, there are certainly some people in this forum who have both babies and toddlers (and many who still consider their 15-month-olds "babies"), so I'd think there should be at least a few other 30-something mothers with older kids who find this thread!

Originally Posted by dctexan

re labor pain: You know I clearly remember thinking that labor hurt so so badly and I clearly remember saying and thinking "this child will be an only because I am NEVER EVER doing this again". However despite remembering those things and knowing that I really and truly meant it at the time, I now feel like I could go through it again.

I could have written that myself. The pain and labor was so much worse than I expected, and I remember clearly thinking "I really want to go through this all again someday????" and I'd say by just a week afterwards, I already felt differently. Not that I want to be pregnant tomorrow, but I know I do want another, and that I'll happily go through pregnancy and labor again. And amazingly, while I can remember that labor *was* incredibly painful, I pretty quickly forgot exactly what that pain was like, and now I mostly remember the fantastically joyful experience of having my new baby up on my chest. I guess it's nature's way of ensuring we do indeed continue to have more children!

[~minnow~]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

Lane did you talk to your ped on Friday? I'm sorry I didn't post but I've been thinking about you and Ada.

Thanks! I did talk to the ped. As I suspected, based on my careful description she thinks the pupil thing is just "normal variation," like when your boobs don't quite match. I only got worried because my HUSBAND got worried. And because, you know, I'm superstitious.

Happy three weeks, Mathilde! (Does she have a middle name?) I'm glad you're getting the support you need and figuring out how to cope with bf.

[hazieluna]

Emily - how you do it I'll never know... working, pumping, experimenting, and keeping this thread going!

Dee - your birth sounds very similar to mine except I didn't get an epi - they don't really do them here. I got pitocin because I didn't seem to be able to dilate on my own although I still had terribly painful contractions anyway. I also pushed for 2 hours and had lots and lots of blood loss... From start to finish 5am 13 Sept to 12:22am 15 Sept. HARD!

I think one of the reasons I cried so much afterwards was because I also felt like I had somehow done something to 'stall' my birth. I mean my body is suppose to open up so why didn't it? The pain was scary. There was a moment of real PANIC like if this is just the beginning and it hurts like this, then I'm going to die when it comes to a hilt. I didn't relax into my contractions - how do you do this??? Through each contraction I kept chanting it will pass it will pass in my head.... and thankfully my DH and sisters reminded me to keep breathing. Oh and as it neared the end I just was in a trance, I became completely unaware of anything except the next contraction and surviving... and yes I swore one baby was it. NO MORE!! In fact I was like what are women thinking having more than one????

So now I look at Aidan and yes even though I remember it all very well (anyone who says you forget is just delusional) I would do it again.... I think the main thing is now I know what to expect and will be better prepared for the pain. Oh and I also know I've DONE IT so it's possible. When I was in labor there was this very real fear that I just couldn't do it.

But turns out that labor and birth isn't the hardest part of having a baby, I think the first month is harder!

Recovery from blood loss was tough so I can't even begin to imagine having a newborn baby and recovering from a c-section! Julia take it easy and make sure everyone is doing everything to take care of you!

Btw CJ - those pictures are wonderful, I LOVE them. Ella is just looking so cute!

Lane - so is everything okay with Ada? The pupil thing was nothing right?

[hazieluna]

Oh and while I'm online I've got questions:

Aidan is doing this very annoying thing now where he's breastfeeding and then with my nipple still in his mouth pulls away. What does this mean? Is he not getting enough milk? It's usually at the end so I know it's not him dealing with my letdown.

So kinda dumb question, how do you know your breast is empty? My breasts always seem to feel the same except when I haven't breastfed in hours and they get hard and that's pretty rare since Aidan likes to breastfeed every 2 hours or so.

Also what is everyone carrying in your diaper bags - that is aside from diapers?
I've got an extra outfit (I learned the hard way that diapers are not always reliable in containing pee and poop), a blanket, an umbrella, a water bottle for me, wipes, and some chinese prefolds. Just wondering if I'm going to be surprised again and realize I should be carrying around something obvious that I'm not.

So I've been sick for the last week with an stomach flu... not nice at all. Aidan is also off, he didn't poop for 4 days and then has pooped 4 times in the last day. He's also crying all the time. I'm exhausted and feeling at the end of my rope but having DH around has helped.

I feel bad because I HATE Aidan crying and then I think that other Moms have it worse and seem more capable of handling the stress. Me I just feel like running away and crying too. I'm trying to be kind in my head to myself but why do others make being a Mom looks so easy? HOW?

[hazieluna]

Btw Dee - don't feel bad about supplementing! You're doing what it takes to make it work!

Do whatever works!!!

[didkisa]

Originally Posted by ~minnow~

But labor didn't do anything to change my mind about only having one kid.

Does this mean you only want one? We only want one and that has been the plan from the start. Guess that's why the question, "Is this your first?" annoys me...it has a built in assumption that you're having more than one. A better question is, "Do you have any other children?" or, "Is she your only child?" although I'm not really sure of the point of the question anyway.

Originally Posted by hazieluna

Aidan is doing this very annoying thing now where he's breastfeeding and then with my nipple still in his mouth pulls away. What does this mean? Is he not getting enough milk? It's usually at the end so I know it's not him dealing with my letdown.

Also what is everyone carrying in your diaper bags - that is aside from diapers?
I've got an extra outfit (I learned the hard way that diapers are not always reliable in containing pee and poop), a blanket, an umbrella, a water bottle for me, wipes, and some chinese prefolds. Just wondering if I'm going to be surprised again and realize I should be carrying around something obvious that I'm not.

DD does that, too, nearly every time she's done. Annoying and it hurts. I don't know why they do it, but I've learned to sense when she's about to pop off and I'll pull her in and break the suction--hopefully b4 it's too late.

In my diaper bag I also carry power bars for myself b/c you never know when you'll get your next meal. And an extra set of clothes for me in my car...learned the hard way when DD threw up all over herself, me, my mei tai, and the carseat. What a mess! Also, toys are in the diaper bag. Oh, I also keep reading material with me b/c I won't wake her up if she's asleep in the car. She doesn't sleep well, so we've learned never to wake her up!

Birth story, very short version: At ~22 weeks my midwife practice dropped me as a patient b/c their back-up OB wanted to label me as high-risk (I wasn't...I am thallasemic). We were also living next door to a psycho and it was really stressing me out! So I moved to Oklahoma to give birth--next door to MIL. I had a wonderful, easy pregnancy with no complications. DH joined me 2 weeks b4 the birth. I gave birth in a birthing pool in our kitchen after 4.5 intense hours of labor...again no problems or complications. We feel very fortunate to have the labor and birth we wanted, even tho' we had to go 1200 miles from home to get it!: DD and I returned to MD 2 months later, to a new home DH had set up for us b4 the birth.

[PiePie]

em: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=800830

[PiePie]

dee, it sounds like you hired yourself a very wise lc., take a nap every day for the next 2 weeks!! in a week your nips will be healefd and you'll feel like a new and improved version of yourself.

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by hazieluna

Aidan is doing this very annoying thing now where he's breastfeeding and then with my nipple still in his mouth pulls away. What does this mean? Is he not getting enough milk? It's usually at the end so I know it's not him dealing with my letdown.

dd too ouch my doula said it's her reaction to gas and she needs to be brped then.

[PiePie]

[QUOTE=hazieluna;9884405

So kinda dumb question, how do you know your breast is empty? My breasts always seem to feel the same except when I haven't breastfed in hours and they get hard and that's pretty rare since Aidan likes to breastfeed every 2 hours or so.

/QUOTE]

same here i think it means they have never been empty

[PiePie]

we always wanted 2 kids but would like to delay not bc of the birth but bc i had a REALLY ROUGH pregnancy emotionally and physically and i'm scared to go back to that dark place.

[rock_dr]

whew - the thread's a'hoppin already! thanks emily.

thanks for checking out the photos. We 'won' the photo shoot at an auction for our local NPR station (got a good deal). I was skeptical but they guy was really great. Of course, now we're ordering so many prints I think it's been worth his while. Well, at least christmas presents are easy this year.

lane - great news from the ped.

emily - hang in there, you're doing great.

lo slept 9-3 am last night.
too bad I was up 2-4... it takes me a few days to get used to a new pattern.

I think we're officially deswaddled. doesn't seem to make much difference anymore. I did buy one of those lovesack things that zipper up like a sleeping bag.