or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Life With a Baby › In our 30s with Our First Babe - December
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

In our 30s with Our First Babe - December - Page 9

post #161 of 528
Hi all - back from San Francisco and Dh's holiday party. It was fun - I obsessed about DD the whole time we were gone and got plenty engorged as we ended up going about 4 1/2 hours... Fed her then pumped at the hotel, which I ended up throwing out (ack - not more) because it didn't stay cold enough in the cooler I had. Oh well - I give up and will start from scratch.

DD was fussy/gassy with my friend, but slept in her Ergo most of the time we were gone and only ate about 2 oz of the milk I left for her. Good, since I ended up only having 4 oz! I bfed right before leaving her there and right when we picked her up. She slept well with me in the hotel, but it took her a while to wind down (not fussy, just awake) so we only slept from about 1 AM to 8 AM with one feeding break at around 4. Almost no crying and she let us wander around a cute shopping area for an hour or so before we came home. She needed a break on the way down, but slept the whole way home...

I borrowed the Ergo and HATE it. I guess it's my shape since I have wide hips and a narrow waist. Her weight keeps it down in the front but the back rides up to my waise and cuts into me. No amount of tightening/loosening seems to help. Hope my mei tai is better once it arrives... It sucks, because Isabella likes it and I was excited to get to borrow one rather than buy one! Now I'm lost as to what SCC to get since I think I'd have the same problem with all of them... Any suggestions from Ergo owners?

Emily - sorry you guys are sick!!! DH has a cold and it's freaking me out - I don't want it and I don't want Isabella to get it. He's not even touching her out of fear of getting her sick...

Also - I knew it was you on the milk. I was crying at the time and not so much thinking clearly. I'll scroll to find your posts...

Dee - Cute pics!!! One thing - if you're working on latch issues ditch the round pacifiers that the hospital gives out... Get the orthodontic ones with the flattened bulb shape (like Mam) - those round ones are supposed to be bad for latching, especially the tongue placement issues we had at first.

Minnow- congrats on pumping so much - I've never gotten more than 3 oz at a time...
post #162 of 528
Elizabeth - So glad you had fun at the party. You deserve time to reconnect as a couple even if it means talking about your little baby all the time. I'm really glad it went well. As for the Ergo, the only thing I can think of is to pull it up a little so it's resting just slightly above your hips. That's where mine rides, and I can't keep it on my hips either. Of course, dd is 22lbs or so now, so her weight definitely makes a difference and we didn't even purchase it until she was 6+ mos or so. Other than that I just don't know.

Natalia - I felt *exactly* like you when I was home with the baby at first. I had just finished a master's program and was also working full time until before the baby came and I felt like life was way too slow. Add to that a new person in the house who keeps me up all hours of the day and just wants to suck on me all the time? It was a huge adjustment period for me. I ended up returning to work after about 8 mos or so and while I am glad I went back, I do feel guilty putting her in daycare a couple of days a week. I'm fortunate that I can bring her to my job part-time, but even then I feel bad I am not stimulating her enough. Ideally I'd like to do some kind of consulting for small businesses and work a few days a week while putting dd in daycare of some sort for the other couple of days. So take it easy, your feelings are natural and I'm sure you'll get used to it all soon enough.

As for me, today was really rough. Dd is at this stage where she wants to nurse all the time (some things never change I guess), but she's slap happy and pinches my skin and plays with my opposite nipple and just generally irritates the crud out of me lately. She's into pulling my shirt up or down to tr to get at my breasts and then once she latches on she only sucks long enough for milk to spray all over the place as let down happens. Then she's off and running to take a dvd out of the dvd player or something. Ugh. Nights are even worse and she just won't stop wanting to nurse me. This is one of those days I just feel completely spent and want to stop bfing completely even though I won't. I would like to let her do child lead weaning as much as possible, but I need a break.

Sheesh.

Hope everyone is well.
post #163 of 528
i am so sad over the toxic toys thing, i have been compulsively checking www.healthytoys.org and dd'd bath toys to which i have never been tremendously attached and a gorgeous, apparently well made cloth book!! are toxic! the former has pvc asnd the latter lead, pvc, and arsenic!!!
post #164 of 528
Thanks for the link, Pie. I can't find any of DD's toys... We have almost no plastic ones, except for her favorite rattle that came with her boucy seat. It's plastic and I worry, but she loves that bee! She will carry on long conversations with him and eventually get frustrated that he's not answering her - if I pick him up and pretend he's talking she gets all happy and keeps chatting away. I didn't realize fabric ones are a concern too! Doesn't surprise me, though.

About the holiday party, which was fun even though I was obsessively worrying... I sat next to one of the principals of the company DH works for and mentioned Isabella as the reason my phone was on the table all night. He has a 2 daughters (2 and 4), so we talked kids for a long time! It was nice to be able to talk kids rather than trying to find intelligent things to talk about. We did talk about other things, but it was nice to have the connection. It's so funny since I used to always talk about my work a lot, now it's a side note!

In good work news - just heard that it looks like I only have one or two bills that will need work when I get back. The rest died on their own - hopefully that means I'll have a flexible schedule at least for the first few months back.
post #165 of 528
One other thing I meant to mention for entertaining babes...
When Willa was pretty young (maybe 6 weeks) we started taking a bath with her every night before bed and she LOVED it. A highlight of every day. Sometime around 3 1/2 or 4 months we started also giving her a half hour of "naked time" before the bath - which she also loves. I think it's good to air out her bottom, but she just seems to love being naked - moves around on her tummy, grabs at things, and squeals and squeals.
She really wasn''t interested in books till around 4 months, and I still have to pick the right time to read them with her - when she's happy and calm but not in a super wriggly, squealy, don't-want-to-sit-still mood.

And this was her first favorite toy, that she started grabbing around 2 1/2 months. I think the many places to grab it helped, and she found the textures really interesting.

Willa had her first fever last night . Up to 102.8. It was scary to feel her so hot, and she was pretty restless and fitful and up a lot to nurse last night. Needless to say, I'm exhausted today. But thankfully, it seems to have broken, and while she still feels warm, her temp is pretty close to normal and she certainly isn't *acting* sick at all. So I don't think we need to do the doctor's visit that I was anticipating this morning.
I took her to a friend's Hanukkah party yesterday that was pretty chaotic - probably 15 kids under 3. She did great for most of it - kept trying to chime into the singing and general noise with her own loud squeals and screams. But at a certain point, even though I figured she was done with napping for the day, I put her in the ergo so I could get something to eat and she just checked out for about 15 minutes - totally sound asleep, despite the loud chaos around her. It was pretty cute - almost as though she knew that she'd had it and needed to recharge her batteries.
post #166 of 528
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganone View Post
I borrowed the Ergo and HATE it. I guess it's my shape since I have wide hips and a narrow waist. Her weight keeps it down in the front but the back rides up to my waise and cuts into me. No amount of tightening/loosening seems to help. Hope my mei tai is better once it arrives... It sucks, because Isabella likes it and I was excited to get to borrow one rather than buy one! Now I'm lost as to what SCC to get since I think I'd have the same problem with all of them... Any suggestions from Ergo owners?
Glad you had fun at the party! And good luck with the milk situation.... I can't imagine how frustrating it is to lose your whole stash.

On the Ergo, I also have pretty wide hips and a narrow waist, but it's never been a problem for me. Have you ever used a hiking pack? I put on the hip belt a lot like I would a large internal frame pack belt - sort of on my waist, but largely resting on my hips, so that the weight goes onto them. It's also worth playing with the shoulder straps and with the shoulder clip (which you can move up or down). It's hard to know what to suggest, though, not being there in person.
Another SSC that people seem to like is the patapum - I don't know if it would be any different for you than the ergo, though.
I hope the Mei Tai works well!
post #167 of 528
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorGroover View Post
Emily thanks for thinking of me! Yes I've been lurking but not posting. I haven't figured out how to do anything hands-free yet, and lots of these discussions seem so distant from what I'm dealing with right now that I get overwhelmed just thinking about the near future. From Monday to Friday, Mathilde lost almost 1/2 a pound (same scale) on a combo of pumped breastmilk and soy formula and was diagnosed with "failure to thrive." The current hypothesis is that she's intolerant of cow's milk proteins in my milk and the first formula we gave her. I cut dairy out of my diet last week but it apparently takes a while to clear the body, up to 2 weeks. So she's on fancy hydrolyzed soy protein formula ($26 a can!) and I've been pumping every 3 hours to keep up my supply. She seems to be doing a lot better but I'm so exhausted from the constant pumping and bottle feeding. I'm lucky that she'll let me feed her expressed breastmilk and she'll take pretty much any nipple, but I'm worried that the bottles & pacis are ruining her latch. I love the BreastFlow bottles though - they seem to be a good mimic of the breast, complete w/ letdown. Dr. Browns bottles were a disaster. She's 4 weeks old today but life's still like it was during the first couple weeks, with 5-6 hours (tops!) sleep spread over 24 hours. My parents have been staying w/ us over 3 weeks now and tension b/w them and DH is getting harder to deal with, but I still need all of them. On a positive note, my nips are almost healed and DH is basically done w/ school so he's been more involved.

Cosleeping - as I suspected, I can't sleep well with the baby in the bed. I'm too worried about suffocating her b/c we don't have an ideal setup. it's a king size bed but the Select Comfort kind w/ 2 air chambers. Only prob is a rut in the middle b/w the chambers that she could (and did) roll into. Can't figure out how to make it level, esp since the 2 sides have different firmnesses. She's been sleeping in her swing mostly, or on my chest while I try to stay awake on the couch. We're moving the pack n play into the bedroom tonite, hopefully. Maybe I'll change my mind once I (finally) learn to nurse laying down, but it still seems unsafe under my conditions.
Dee - Yeah, I STILL haven't figured out how to be hands free with the baby! The best I can do is one handed (and even then, only on one side).
So sorry to hear about Mathilde's weight loss. I am sure it freaked you out. I am so sorry you are having to go through such struggles. I really wish I were there with you to give you a big hug (even if it makes you cry...all the hugs I got PP made me cry) and give you a break (my experiences with Mr. Fussy Benjamin have made me completely lose my fear of crying babies). Glad your nips are on the mend. Hooray!
When you say 4-5 hours of sleep tops you mean YOU right (not Mathilde?). It totally sucks, but it is normal when you are pumping/feeding every 3 hours. How is your output? Does it seem to be exceeding Mathilde's needs? If so, can you and DH make a deal that he takes a feeding shift (and you just skip pumping) so that you can sleep 5-6 hours consectutively? Once I was able to get 6 hours in a row I felt tons better (not great mind you, but soooo much better than I felt when I was only get 2-3 hours at a time). I also want to tell you that you will adjust to the sleep deprevation. I did not believe people AT ALL when they said that to me (because I was an 8-10 hours sleeper before the kid), but I get 6 hours most nights (give or take an hour on each side, with some ability to rebound on weekends when I nap with the babe) and I feel "normal" and can function.
Co-sleeping: It took me a long, long time to be comfortable having Benjamin sleep with me. I'd say at least 8 weeks before I could actually sleep, rather than just lie there and rest. Even now, my sleep is lighter when he is in the bed, but it is definitely sleep. One thing that helps me is NOT having DH in the bed (the baby and I need 3/4s of the queen to be comfortable and DH really needs half...he is not a good sharer), so most of our cosleeping is for naps. For what is worth, I am a "dangerous" cosleeper...I totally sleep with pillows and a fluffy down duvet and the baby sleeps under the covers with me and we have had no incidents of him being anywhere close to smothering or anything (although I still freak out about it a little, but I absolutely cannot sleep with out pillows and covers so it is what it is). My feeling is that the baby will make a fuss and let me know if something is wrong. I also have faith that my "mommy sense" will alert me to anything (like I find myself waking up now before Benjamin is fussing for his night feedings...I guess I hear a difference in his breathing?). PackNPlay in the bedroom is a lifesaver for us. Please let me know how it goes.
post #168 of 528
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hazieluna View Post
Oh Emily, I'm so sorry that Benjamin is sick. It's so hard to see your little one suffering. Maybe it helps if you think about it as strengthening his immunity. That's the approach they take here about illness.
Natalia - Yeah. DH grew up in Germany and he is all about building the immune system. Still sucks to see the baby so sick. A little cold with some snuffles, okay, I can deal. But screaming in pain and having a fever it just a bit much for me. Sadly, the little guy is still sick. He stayed home with Daddy today because I have no vacation and no sick leave.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beckyphry View Post
:Julia, I hear you on the birth trauma thing. I often wonder that as well. My c-section was due to fetal distress (cord being compressed) so I wonder what that was like for her... and if it's contributed to her fussiness.

Soooo.... we figured out our childcare situation! We interviewed the most perfect girl Friday night and hired her the next day. She's young (29), married with a 20-mo boy. She's done daycare work and nanny work in the past and told me that she'd hold Maya all the time and hopes that's ok, haha!! I was like, yes that's perfectly fine! She's going to come to our home with her son, and she starts Tuesday! Phew!! I'm so relieved!
You know, I had a hard traumatic birth too. Maybe that is part of Benjamin's fussiness? Poor little guy was already to come out for almost 3 days before mama's cervix managed to open. I thought the pressure was unbearable. Now I am wondering how it much have felt for him! Ouch.

Congrats on the nanny situation! It sounds perfect. I am so happy for you and Maya. When is your first day back at work?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~minnow~ View Post
I love crying pictures.
This says something about you Lane. Not quite sure what, but definitely something. I still love you though!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~minnow~ View Post
Along those lines, what do you DO with your kid all day? I think Elizabeth said something awhile back about worrying if she was stimulating her kid enough. I carry her in the sling (she's less into this now), take walks (ditto, which sucks for me), prop her against my knees and talk/sing to her, lay her in the crib to coo at her mobile/animals... but that's it. She hates "tummy time." She doesn't really have toys. I read her books sometimes but she's not that into it yet.

A lot of times I feel like I'm both not getting writing done (because trying to take care of the baby), and not "paying enough attention" to the baby (because I'm trying to sneak in writing while holding her on my lap or something). Guilt! So what kind of "playing" am I missing? She's 11 weeks -- not quite able to grab toys yet.
Benjamin still isn't really playing yet. He will spash around in the bath, so we do that every night. He still likes to have cooing coversations with me, so we do that. He also will flirt with himself in the mirror, so we have mirror time. He likes staring at the ceiling fan and ceiling lights (often "talking" to them and smiling). Toys are not really his thing (he will kick at stuff and occaisionally bat at things, but no purposeful grabbing yet and he really only likes putting his fist, my hand, or boob in his mouth). We do lots and lots of "Baby Standy Up Time" (because he looooooves to stand up, it will even calm him down if he is fussing) which leads to "Baby Dance Time" (remember that terrible Said Fred song, Catwalk? Well we "shake your little tush on the catwalk". All of this then leads to "Baby Falling Down Time" and then we either repeat or end up in Teradactyl mode (high pitched squawking noises) which mean it is boob and nap time. Reading is kind of a bust (although I do have one book with no words and all black & white pictures that he will look at), he doesn't like sitting (only standing or lying down). Walks are good, although he still isn't 100% sure the sling/carriers are his friend. So, not a lot of playing going on in our house. I trust that it will all come together when it is ready.

Quote:
Originally Posted by acp View Post
Willa had her first fever last night . Up to 102.8. It was scary to feel her so hot, and she was pretty restless and fitful and up a lot to nurse last night. Needless to say, I'm exhausted today. But thankfully, it seems to have broken, and while she still feels warm, her temp is pretty close to normal and she certainly isn't *acting* sick at all. So I don't think we need to do the doctor's visit that I was anticipating this morning.
Amanda - Sorry about the fever! Glad to hear that Willa seemed better this morning. I hope you continues to do well.
post #169 of 528
Thread Starter 
Oh, forgot to comment on our developmental milestones...

Benjamin rolled from back to front 3 times this weekend (still hasn't done front to back...crazy baby, I always thought they were motivated to get off their tummies!). The first time he screamed bloody murder, but was pretty happy with himself the other 2 times.

We also have had several successful incidents of foot grabbing. Very cute and rolly poly
post #170 of 528
NAK... be back later to personalize but I have to share our recent discovery... Oliver is a were-baby! At midnight he turns from a sweet, coo-ing little baby into a screaming monster! 4 hours last night. Wasn't gas, not hungry, no trouble with breastfeeding, he's just... a were-baby. (sigh)
post #171 of 528
Aw Grace - sorry Oliver was so fussy last night. The thing about sleep patterns is that they ALWAYS change. Last night this one was up every hour from 2 AM on... Not crying, just hungry. She'd eat and go back to sleep at least.

Isabella LOVES to talk - she and I have several long conversations a day, including long monologues of just her talking. She had a four -syllable coo yesterday. She loves to watch her feet, but isn't grabbing them yet. She loves to kick things - if I put a colorful pillow at her feet she'll kick and kick at it. Grabbing stuff and getting better every day - she is also loving to taste/feel stuff now. Anything her head is against (shirt, blanket, whatever) she'll stick her tongue out and just sort of feel it. She hasn't rolled over again, which I'm sort of happy about because I feel safer if she's staying in one place! She likes to sit up and now uses her Bumbo seat sometimes. She also loves to stand and can support most of her weight. She likes her bouncy seat sometimes (she's napping there now) and generally spends a couple of hours in the Moby wrap for her afternoon nap. That's the only hands free thing I've found since it holds her really securely. We still use the swing for dinner, too.
post #172 of 528
julia, what do you think about the ny phil's trip to n korea?
post #173 of 528
so i have this one interview on friday but so far no other interviews from the applications i sent out.
post #174 of 528
Dee... How's it going today? The pics were great, and I know what you mean about the "face we see too often"... we do too. I showed it to DH and he laughed because Oliver has the same one!

Elizabeth... I'm having a hard time finding a baby carrier that works too. The slings are pissing me off, cuz either I just don't have a good one that fits right or I just don't know how to work him in there that he isn't all scrunched up and starts to cry. He's very long so the pouches and slings don't work with a newborn cradle hold. But his neck muscles aren't strong enough to have him sitting up against me really. (sigh)
I'm so sorry you had to throw out your stash, that totally sucks! Why did it go bad, or did I miss that part?

I am amazed by Paul, he was the one who dealt with O's fussiness last night all that time. He can stay pretty calm for a long time but I can tell that after last night, he's shot. He wanted to let me sleep though, and knows how upset I get when I can't calm O down, so he took him downstairs both times (the four hours of fussing was a grand total... in the middle of it O did nurse for 45 minutes. Then back to the crying.) So I'm trying to let him sleep all day, which of course is when O is sleeping and I should be, but when I'm watching baby I have a hard time sleeping cuz I listen for every little gurgle and if I hear one, my tummy starts churning with adrenaline. I'm just trying to stay in the moment and not worry about two weeks from now when DH goes back to work and I'll have to shoulder more of the burden.

Emily... I'm the same way with cosleeping, I sleep so much lighter with baby next to me and DH is a big guy so we're pretty scrunched. I really think I get more sleep in the a.m. this way though, he takes longer to wake up than he would if he can hear my breath. He just wants to be near his people.

Pie... thanks for the link. I'll have to check out the brand of water play mat that I have, it may be one of the bad ones. It's so sad that we even have to worry this much about toys! :

I think my time is running out and there are things to be done... Bye, Julia
post #175 of 528
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
julia, what do you think about the ny phil's trip to n korea?
OMG! I had no idea! Frightening! And kinda cool! I'll have to check it out.
post #176 of 528
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
so i have this one interview on friday but so far no other interviews from the applications i sent out.
Hang in there Pie. When did the applications go out?
Congrats on your interview, maybe this will be the one :
post #177 of 528
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganone View Post
\
I borrowed the Ergo and HATE it. I guess it's my shape since I have wide hips and a narrow waist. Her weight keeps it down in the front but the back rides up to my waise and cuts into me. No amount of tightening/loosening seems to help. Hope my mei tai is better once it arrives... It sucks, because Isabella likes it and I was excited to get to borrow one rather than buy one! Now I'm lost as to what SCC to get since I think I'd have the same problem with all of them... Any suggestions from Ergo owners?.
veganone: I just received my Beco carrier this weekend. I was attracted to the Ergo but I've read/heard that shorter folks have some problems with the fit. So far, I like the Beco. DS just fits. His legs just pop through. He's a little guy, born at 36 weeks but so far so good. I had been using a sling with him verticle w/ frog legs (he never liked the cradle hold) But I haven't been comfortable with the sling with his little legs out. I just always felt like I was adjusting the sling too.
I wore the Beco last night for a couple of hours at a Christmas party and so far so good. I like it and DS likes it.
Here's a company that gives you 30 or 60 days to try them out: http://store.attachedtobaby.com/

Good luck
post #178 of 528
Pie pie, all you need is ONE interview!

Good luck. I hope this is a position you really want.
post #179 of 528
Question: How much do you ladies get when you pump? I just pumped on one side (I was leaking) for 10 minutes and barely covered the bottom of the bottle. So disheartening!
post #180 of 528
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nylecoj View Post
As for me, today was really rough. Dd is at this stage where she wants to nurse all the time (some things never change I guess), but she's slap happy and pinches my skin and plays with my opposite nipple and just generally irritates the crud out of me lately. She's into pulling my shirt up or down to tr to get at my breasts and then once she latches on she only sucks long enough for milk to spray all over the place as let down happens. Then she's off and running to take a dvd out of the dvd player or something. Ugh. Nights are even worse and she just won't stop wanting to nurse me. This is one of those days I just feel completely spent and want to stop bfing completely even though I won't. I would like to let her do child lead weaning as much as possible, but I need a break.
Jocelyn - Sorry yesterday was so rough. I am a huge admirer or mamas who do child-led weaning. B'feeding is something I enjoy (usually...I'll admit that there are bad days too and the first 6 weeks were pretty rough), but I can completely see how it can become tiresome (especially once the little one starts being pushy about. Right now one of the best parts is the sweet snuggle time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace24 View Post
Question: How much do you ladies get when you pump? I just pumped on one side (I was leaking) for 10 minutes and barely covered the bottom of the bottle. So disheartening!
I have found that pumping is something that improves with practice. When I first started pumping I was lucky to get 1-2oz (total) after a 15 min session. With practice (and playing around with suction and speed...more isn't always best), I now get more. However, time of day and the amount of nursing I've done 2-3 hrs before the pump session defintely affect output. Now that I am pumping at work I usually get 7-8 oz (total) from my first pump, 5-6 for my second pump, and another 3-4 for my third pump. I usually pump for 15 minutes. If I have a "bad" pump session (less than 2 oz while at work), I will wait 15/20 min, massage my boobs, and then pump again for another 10-15 min. This usually gets me another 1-2oz.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Life With a Baby
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Life With a Baby › In our 30s with Our First Babe - December