I am so very sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Sending you strength and hoping for you to find peace.
post #21 of 65
11/30/07 at 9:31pm
I'm debating on whether to post this because I was NOT good at this and I don't want to upset you further. It's a very personal decision. If this is too upsetting or just not helpful, please tell me and I'll delete it.
If I had it to do again (without the fibroid), I'd try to deliver again.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a little boy at 17.2 weeks in March of this year. Same as you, couldn't find the heartbeat, ultrasound showed no heartbeat. I chose to deliver with the help of some cervical pill called miso? something (sorry). It opened my cervix to approx.5 cm. and I delivered him, feet first in the bathroom at the hospital after 2 doses of meds and 13 hours of waiting (like a mini labour). The placenta was all intact so no D&C needed. I understand the shock and pain and not knowing what to do next. I relize I'm new here, I wish I had had someone to tell me what to expect. I hope you don't mind me responding. I did bleed a lot with clots (TMI) for 8 weeks after. I went to a homeopath for treatment after the docs wanted to put me on hormones and the homeopath guy fixed me right up and I stopped bleeding within 2 days. If you do bleed a lot I suggest this route and please don't wait as long as I did. My little boys name is Gabriel Francis and he was cremated and is on our mantle in a very plain wooden urn. My hubby (who's a minister) baptized him. If you do this in a hospital, a chaplain could do this if you wanted to go that route, if at home do it yourself, no need to be a clergy. If that's not what you guys are into - disregard this part of post. We took 3 pictures and our 2 older boys (9 and 12) got to hold him. If you have other kids, there are some great books out there. The one we have is "We were gonna have a baby but we had an angel instead". The hospital sent us home with "stuff" a small blanket, grief material etc.
I know it's very hard right now, in time you get used to it and the sting isn't so bad. I hope I haven't overwhelmed you or anyone else with TMI or speaking out when I should be quite. Do what is right for you.
Again, I'm very sorry and best wishes for you and your family.