Hi again to all the regs and WELCOME to Crunchy Doula (and any others that I may have missed ~ I won't ignore you, I just need more time to read through the rest of the November thread... I've been crazy bogged down with work, school work, NaNo, and of course doctor's appointments... so many drs appointments....
on Thystle's challenge: I'm planning on volunteering more around the community... I don't even know where to start (so I guess that will be really the first step ~ learning how to volunteer, making the connections within the community)...
But I realized there are so many places around here that need help, that need bodies in there doing things that need getting done... so, I'm going to see what I can do. Probably will start with the Convalescent Hospital and Women's Crisis Shelter (does anyone know if volunteering with kids is acceptable --???? -- I know the food bank allows kids to help to but not sure with other places)...
My points of gratitude / happy things:
1. I finished my NaNoWriMo novella!!!
2. That written checks take at least a few days to process ... meaning that when my account is negative because of an error with my frakking food stamps and I have to use my checking account to pay for it, I can still buy other things I need with a check.
3. That I have three awesome social workers on my side with CalWorks and MediCal, helping me as much as possible to get the treatment paid for that I need for my endo, and providing me with resources and contacts to get the laws changed too.
Some workers shy away from people who are totally proactive and aren't just trying to take care of themselves but fix the system, too (LIKE ME, hahaha) ~ and are intimidated or freaked out by people who know the laws and research their own rights... but these three aren't, and have been totally helpful.
Now, weird comment: People keep thinking we're homeless.
I don't know why, and the first time, I just kind of laughed it off... but now I'm beginning to wonder if I really look that trashy or something.
: (I guess it bugs me so much now because I've worked really, desperately hard to *not* be homeless again... and even when I WAS I don't think I "looked" like it...)
So anyway, case in point:
This morning I was walking to the bus stop (my van didn't start, again, this morning so we had to walk the ~mile to the bus stop) ~~ and I had my purse (a huge hand-embroidered one), and a bag of cans to donate to the campus food drive (which, ironically, is why I ended up going negative in my bank account ~ because I tried to pay with food stamps and my card was rejected because of a frakking computer glitch
)... along with my jacket, and a bag of pull-ups for my dd's daycare, and of course my dd, who was wearing her enormous jacket and a scarf I knitted her, and you know, we were both all decked out in our usual hippie garb, headscarves and hand-knit things and etc etc.... well anyway this guy pulls up alongside us and gives us this really pathetic look, and pulls over, stops his (brand-new, shiny-clean sparkling monster SUV), hops out, approaches us, doesn't make eye contact, thrusts some money at us and backs away, mumbling something about that maybe I can get my dd something for xmas, etc...
and he's not the only one, I have had at least three others come up to me and ask me ~ directly and indirectly ~ if I'm homeless, if I need help, if I need money or a place to stay or a ride...
And as much as I'm totally blown away by this generosity (I started crying as the guy drove away, just overcome by it).... it's kind of freaking me out. Like, do I LOOK like a homeless person
?? Granted, I'm skinny and I wear a lot of mismatched clothes but.....
Anyway I took the money, and then I felt guilty about taking the money, and put it aside for my dd even while I was writing a check to cover our dinner for tonight.
And I know I shouldn't let people's perceptions get the better of me, but... it's so hard not to, especially when I do so much work, and I try to help so many people, and I stick myself out there into the world to try to make positive social change, and then I get slapped in the face with the reality that most people just think I'm some vagrant chica looking for work or something. Around here they probably think I'm a crack addict. I don't know. It's just depressing.
And classes..... Lanky, I feel you.
My finals week is ONE WEEK AWAY and I'm totally and completely unprepared. Or at least that's what it feels like. I've been doing horribly in my statistics class, despite my great start, and I feel totally overwhelmed by my Sociology work, although I know I have the material, and I just need to start writing it. It's just... so much
So, there's my saga, and as time allows tonight I will be reading and responding to you all.
I've missed coming to this group.