Originally Posted by Nature
And now I'm going to piggyback on my own post..
And she tells me, (paraphrased) "normally this isn't an issue.. I just want to get out of this rut we're in. I don't really care how much stuff costs normally, so good that you're all martha stewart like and saving money but we don't need to be THAT
stingy. We're having a hard week, we aren't POOR! "
I told her I was only trying to help and I'd shut up now.. she just laughed.
Ya, I'm gonna go cry now..
somehow I feel like a huge loser now.
I know the other mamas have said really wise things so I just wanted to
Originally Posted by Crunchy Doula
I thought I would wait till the new thread to introduce myself. My name is Jessica and I am married and we have a beautiful 15 month old together!
I am a SAHM and part time doula. We struggle to make it monthly, but things are getting tighter this month, but will soon clear up as half our debt will be paid in December and the rest will be gone in February. We have struggled making ends for quite awhile and I am ready to get out of this circumstance.
I am glad to have found this thread with so many supportive women!!
I can't wait to get to know you all more
Welcome, although I still feel new myself!
Originally Posted by Iris' Mom
Hi, all. I'm joining in.
I'm Maureen, and I'm another mama who's fallen upon hard times, but unfortunately, they are not temporary. I have 3 kids, ages 17, 6 and 7 mos. I am married but in the process of divorcing
Two years ago, I was a hard-working lawyer married to a SAHD. My marriage was rocky, and I started having a lot of trouble at work. One day, I just sort of broke down, and wound up in the hospital. I was diagnosed wtih bipolar disorder, and have not been able to work since. I'm in a constant state of anxiety, and I have not yet found any meds/treatment to stabilize my bipolar.
STBX resentfully got a job, and my marriage started going downhill pretty fast; stbx relapsed into drug addiction, quit his job and fell completely apart. The last time we saw him he was in handcuffs. There has been so much emotional fallout because of this, but I'll spare the details.
Financially, I was okay for a while: For 6 mos., I got short-term disability = fullpay; then long-term disability = 60% pay. In September, my short-term ended b/c my disability is psychological; if it were physical, I could collect until I retired (yes, I've filed a complaint). Since September, I've been only getting SSDI. None of this would even be unbearably bad, except I incurred so much debt when I was making much more money. For example, I have a $3500 mortgage payment, which is double by SSDI. I have student loan payments of over $1000/mo. I could go on. I am cutting everywhere I can, but just my fixed expenses alone are more than 3x my SSDI.
Right now, I am taking withdrawals from my 401K to meet expenses for several reasons: dd was going to graduate in May, and I didn't want to transfer her senior year; my house is under water, and I can't afford to pay any shortfall if I sell now; I sent my resume around, and I'm hoping there is some job I can perform in spite of my bipolar; law is one profession where a bankruptcy is really bad, and I worked too, too hard to get my degree to take any step that would ruin my chances of ever practicing again; I may win my discrimination complaint against my disability insurer; or I may win the lottery.
Until any of those happen, though, I'm really, really struggling, and could sure use some support! And, I hope I can offer other low-income/struggling mamas as well.
mama, so sorry things are so challenging but I agree that if you got through law school you are a strong woman! This is a good place to come for support.
Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten
Hi again to all the regs and WELCOME to Crunchy Doula (and any others that I may have missed ~ I won't ignore you, I just need more time to read through the rest of the November thread... I've been crazy bogged down with work, school work, NaNo, and of course doctor's appointments... so many drs appointments....
So, there's my saga, and as time allows tonight I will be reading and responding to you all.
I've missed coming to this group.
Welcome back, I too get bogged down and only find time to read the email updates but I'm going to try to do better this month, now I've learned to multi quote!
Originally Posted by SherryR
Hi. I hope you don't mind my "crashing" your thread. I've been lurking around but always was too overwhelmed to post anything..
Originally Posted by CaliMommie
Hi everyone! I am exhausted so I will reply to everyone tomorrow. I just wanted to ask for prayers (good vibes, etc.) for DS2. He was exposed to mennigococcal mennigitis at his preschool yesterday. We took him for an antibiotic shot at the hospital outpatient center (that goodness for Medi-Cal) and now we just have to wait & hope the antibiotics work and he doesn't get sick. He has a history of being immunocompromised so I'm trying hard not to freak out.
Hoping that your little one didn't get sick, and that you got good rest.
Originally Posted by vannienicole
Good night/morning everyone! Just really subbing at this point. In the middle of typing a 5 page paper that is supposedly due at 5 am
:. I am on page one!
I work best under pressure!
Wow, you student mamas are an inspiration to me!
Originally Posted by Satori
I'm in a serious downer mood tonight
We made a huge move to a city (NEVER thought I'd live in the city) for a whole bunch of reasons and I am seriously stressing, I can't even job hunt without finding a sitter first and I can't find a dang sitter! Rent is due tomorrow and its going to more or less zero out the bank account and the last check I have coming is gone to cover the deposits for utilities. I'm seriously freaking out about not being able to get a job immediately, there's lots of jobs out there but without childcare... I ran an ad but all I'm getting are people who want more money then I'll even make or there only available crazy hours or a few hours here and there. I need the standard 8a-5p and due to their health issues I can't use a center and need a private sitter. I figured with a city this size I'd find someone fairly easy but in 2 weeks of running ads nothing
I have to interview one next week but it sounds like she's already overwhelmed with her toddler alone forget adding a home schooled 7 yr old who she'd have to do 1-2 hours of work a day with and an 18 month old plus her own child. We applied for aid and it doesn't even cover the rent and this is the cheapest place I could find that didn't have gang bangers for next door neighbors (literally). xmas is almost here and outside of a couple of playsilk blanks I ordered and a robe we have nothing
My dad is supposed to be getting a play kitchen for the baby and a huge doll house for dd but knowing him he's going to do what he does every year and give me the money at the last minute when there's no more toys on the shelves and that's IF he remembers at all. Year before last he totally forgot xmas all together! I don't know what my moms getting them. I feel like I'm failing my kids
I know I shouldn't complain, we have food, the bills will be paid this month and we have enough clothes to stay warm but right now I'm freaking out about what happens come January if I haven't found a sitter yet? I've come this far manifesting a bunch of stuff and I know I need to work on manifesting a sitter but for tonight I just need to freak out some more ya know? Get it out of my system and hopefully tomorrow will be better
. I hope you find a reliable sitter soon. Heres some sitter
Originally Posted by LankyLizards
Wow, Satori, that is such a tough situation. I hope you are able to finsd a sitter and a job.
Nature, your friend sounds very...um...non-supportive or understanding of you. Crazy.
Ok, it's 5 am and I haven't been to sleep yet. So, I'm going now. I hung out with a friend, though which was pretty fun. But I'm exhausted. More tomorrow.
Hi LL, Have you made your pro/con list yet? We live in that type of situation, we are caretakers of our Meeting House. It is the only thing that has kept me sane for this past year is the knowledge that at least my kids have a roof over their heads and no gas/electric/water bills to worry about. I manage to make about $125 - $175 a week with childcare but it's not reliable, I don't earn on holidays or if the kids are sick. Yes there are rules, no alcohol, no pets etc but I actually really enjoy being here and have found it to be a wonderfully supportive community IRL.
No, the truth is I am poor in large part because I used to think that the more money we made meant we should spend more and that is exactly what I did.
I can almost guarantee you that should your friend lose a job or two she will discover the error of her ways
, hell I did.. but hey to each his own. Sorry for the rant but that type of thinking pisses me off.
Well it is cold this morning, on the bright side the little one is sleeping late so I have been able to get up and enjoy a cup of coffee and apple in peace and some uninteruppted computer time, so life is good.
Good morning Shay, hope you enjoyed your coffee in peace. I too love that rare time when I am the only one awake, mind you I usually use it to catch up on email or MDC! I've always wanted to live in Maine, even though I've never even been there!!!!
Originally Posted by bwylde
I lurk and have posted but haven't stuck around much. We're very low income. DH works part time as a grocery store clerk and I am unable to work for a number of reasons. I've been kind of down lately as no one understands what it truly is like to be poor and know that will be your life...forever!
Well as for what I'm planning on doing to make things better is I want to keep the apartment cleaner and more looked after. I suffer badly from depression and often let things go. I always feel better when things look better. You don't need to spend money to put things away or dust
. I want to haul out the decorations soon and go all out making things looks festive, even if they don't always feel it. I want to give my kids a great Christmas that isn't dependent on money, but is based on love.
I too feel better when the apartment is tidy but I'm also realising that sometimes I don't get to the other important things because by the time I have cleaned I have no time or energy left for anything else! I'm sorry things are so difficult. What size is your daughter?
Three things I am grateful for:-
1) extra childcare work this week meaning extra $$$
2)Nana Susan who is coming in 30 mins to take ME out to breakfast!
3)my wonderful dc who remind me why we do all this.
I'll have to think over what I will do to make things better. I have an idea but it's not fully formulated.