Queer TTC December 2007 - Page 8

[JenInMpls]

Originally Posted by BurtsGirl

Good Vibes. Like: I'm sending : your way.

I'm seeing more of "I'm putting a spell on you."

Accio embryo?</harry_potter>

Personally I think I need to investigate the google ad for "insane frog ringtone". Good stuff pops up with a threadkeeper named frog who smells sane.

frog: I was *almost* a st kate's alumna but was moved at the last moment to go to the U. Something about coming up with $9000 tuition per year after a work-study job. I was accepted and everything. Thought that having the same last name as one of the res halls was a good sign, but alas. Still I don't think I have much of a right to be : when it's 20 degrees! That's nothing!!

[BurtsGirl]

Originally Posted by megincl

In the context of this thread I like to think of it as the magical bearer of "all-you-can-use/need" sperm.

ooooo I LIKE that!

[frog]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

Ifrog: I was *almost* a st kate's alumna but was moved at the last moment to go to the U. Something about coming up with $9000 tuition per year after a work-study job. I was accepted and everything. Thought that having the same last name as one of the res halls was a good sign, but alas.

Can you hear me cruising through the res halls in my brain, trying to figure out your last name?

I loved my time at CSC--it was VERY much the right decision for me, even with the debt I incurred! It's not for everyone, though, that's for sure! I'll be in town in June for my 15-year reunion. We should meet up!

[baby_baby_mommy]

Thx to those who responded re sperm count #s. I'm frustrated b/c our KD's fresh count was completely awesome (got pg with those high #s, no problem) but the frozen isn't as much, in part b/c they've divided each sample into 2 - 3 separate vials and they only use 1 vial per IUI I feel like having words with the clinic but maybe that's just what they do and I should be fine with a low motile # after they divide the specimen in 2 or 3, freeze it, thaw it, and wash it?

[JenInMpls]

: it DOES look like someone zapping a lot of swimmers! I think we have to co-opt that for our own purposes here.

Originally Posted by frog

Can you hear me cruising through the res halls in my brain, trying to figure out your last name?

you go right ahead. Small first year residence near the library.

[JennM1021]

Hello all...newbie here. I am so glad to have found this site! And most of all to see that I am not the only one out there who obsesses over TTC! Wow...what a crazy (and wonderful) process. Well...like many of you...I am currently TTC...and it's driving me absolutely nuts!! I just need to try to stay away from the internet as much as possible right now...because I'm obsessing over looking up all there is to know about the process...my odds of conceiving...and what to do/not to do. Wow...I'm stressing just thinking about it. It's also difficult to read all the..."i've been trying for 6 months...a year...two years" stories and not feel a bit discouraged. Although...I have no reason to be...I just started myself. But...I'm one of those people. I need to have control over everything...and this is one thing I can only have so much control over. So..tell me...how do you other control freaks handle this??? We charted for a couple of months...and just gave it our first try this weekend. I got my positive 'surge' on Saturday and we inseminated Saturday and Sunday using frozen sperm. Sooo....I'm only at the beginning of my two weeks of torture!

[frog]

Welcome, Jenn!

[BurtsGirl]

JennM

Originally Posted by JennM1021

So..tell me...how do you other control freaks handle this???

From a self-id'ed control freak. Everyone handles this process differently but I would suggest to stay close to your partner and friends, come here to let everything out, blogging or journaling can also help and is a great record of the process, be kind to your body and control what you know you can control- outlook, eating habits, exercise, meditation, stress management, etc.

Good luck and sending : and to you during your wait. (Yea, I had to use it, I just LIKE it.

[JennM1021]

Thanks for the advice! I think having a place like this to come to and just get everything out going to be very helpful.

Thanks for the welcome!!

[JenInMpls]

Jenn from another Jen (with just one less 'n' but hey that's good - people can tell us apart that way )

I find this thread to be a real sanity saver because you can come here and analyze and pick apart and claim that every little thing is a symptom of pregnancy and people are just like "heck yeah! : to you!" which is a lot nicer than people who tell you that you're just imagining it. People here are patient and tolerant and understanding of the crazy-making and just plain positive and don't tell you to stop being a freak... because we're all freaks in this business, I'd say!

Anyway, welcome, I'm in the 2ww too...

[Twylightdove]

Welcome Jenn!

I'm normally not much of a control freak but this process has turned me into one! I'm a big into charts and study so there was this little part of me that thought I could chart and study my way into a quick conception. Obviously this didn't work since I'm still trying a year later!

However there is hope! These boards and the ones at rainbow conceptions have been great for getting out all that tension with people who know what you are going though. I don't post often but I read posts all the time. Just hearing other people feeling the same things I do helps me feel a little less crazed. My partner is also a rock in the sea of my fluctuating moods during ttc. Acupuncture, meditation and long walks have also really helped lower my stress. The one other thing that I learned early on is to tell any friend who knows we are ttc NOT to ask me constantly if I'm pregnant yet. That is just too painful a question to hear right after you start bleeding. (I've since learned that our friends ask Jake all the time but never when I'm around!)

Good luck!

[frog]

I think the best thing I've learned, as a fellow control freak, is that there are simply too many variables for me to take responsibility for controlling all of them. I do what I can, but this is part art as well as science and what will be will be.

[JennM1021]

Wow...you guys are great! This is all really good advice. I mean...it's all what I've kind of told myself already. That it's ok to get a little crazy...that I only have so much control and the rest of it is up to...well I don't know what it's up to...but it's not up to me. Anyway...it's just great to hear it from others who have either been there...or are there now.

Twylightdove - I know exactly what you mean about thinking that you are prepared enough...and knowledgeable enough that you can just make it happen. But...it's more complicated than that. And that is so true about family/friends constantly wanting updates. I mean...this is just our first cycle...so I'm sure I haven't seen anything yet! Thankfully I have an awesome partner who is keeping them at bay as much as possible.

Jen - Good luck to you too in your 2ww!!! And everyone else also!!

[snoopy13]

hi JennM --

I'm a control freak who just inseminated for the first time, felt like i conceived, and then bled right on schedule... so far my freakiness has been manageable this round by the fact that it was my partner inseminating for the first 5 tries, so now that it's me i feel a lot more in control already -- she was NOT into obsessing and reading and tracking and scheming and all that, so it was weird when i was control-freaking out on her behalf, and has been easier or feels more appropriate now that i'm the "vessel".... but also i have been swimming at least 3 times a week at the Y, doing yoga, and visualization to try to stay chilled out. also acupuncture.

for 1/2 of my TWW, I was REALLY busy with work at a conference far away from home, so that was a good distraction.

also i can't believe its almost time again to start doing the OPK and all that, seems like it was just yesterday we did the first insem and now i'm already 5 days into the next cycle -- so i think having "something" going on, whether it's being on this board, or taking temps, or checking the calendar, whatever, is keeping it moving along... although i can really sympathize with you that it is hard to imagine doing this in 6 months or 2 years.

but actually, we have been already -- my partner's first insem was back in april, as we missed a few months in the middle and then took a month off before switching to me -- and it has been survivable. we've really had to work on our communication, both with each other, and in telling our friends and family to stop asking all the time -- and also the weirdness of my only brother having his first kid and then another pregnancy in the meantime (he is younger than me and we don't have the best relationship, it's hard not to be very jealous.)

anyway, hang in there and thanks everyone for all these great messages and information!

[frog]

Originally Posted by snoopy13

...and also the weirdness of my only brother having his first kid and then another pregnancy in the meantime (he is younger than me and we don't have the best relationship, it's hard not to be very jealous.)

If you're up for talking more about this, I'm game!

My brother and his wife were married last November and she got pregnant in December. At the end of the first trimester, he called me. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we're having a baby. That's the bad news, too. I'm so, so sorry. I know you've been trying..." It was very sweet, but still hard.

We went to meet our niece over Thanksgiving and I had what was essentially a week-long meltdown beforehand, culminating in me being a total tool to turtle the evening of the day we first met our niece.

I adore my niece and I couldn't be more thrilled that she's here, but it's really, really hard not to feel like it's just another way in which my brother is "the good one" and I continue to be the one who doesn't do anything right.

Fortunately (or not, but whatever), my relationship with my parents is such that they have NO IDEA we've ever tried to get me pregnant.

[BurtsGirl]

One thing that also helped get me through the TWW and what I'm also re-learning now is to having something else. I'm a capricorn and I always need to have a goal and be working to meet that goal. Well, there is only so much you can do when your TTC to work at that goal. SOOooo in the meantime I've taken up Knitting and revived my spiritual journey. Those two things have really kept me balanced and also allowed me to not center my whole life, time, and energy around baby-makin. I've been able to knit little projects (none for our child though, feel it would jinx it) and I get a great sense of accomplishment when I finish one of those projects. I'm doing a lot of spiritual reading and finding my path, questioning my beliefs, and working out the kinks. This is also very fulfilling.

I think it's important to not let go of the things you love to do, be it a hobby, cooking, dinner parties with friends, activism, or whatever is up your alley. Having something else to focus on REALLY helps out.

With that said, I found that this is the hardest thing to do during those last few days before you test but I'm hoping with our next cycle in Jan I'll be able to "manage" this better.

[snoopy13]

[QUOTE=frog;9981171]If you're up for talking more about this, I'm game!

My brother and his wife were married last November and she got pregnant in December. At the end of the first trimester, he called me. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we're having a baby. That's the bad news, too. I'm so, so sorry. I know you've been trying..." It was very sweet, but still hard.


Sure I'd love to talk about this. Not a single person in my family has said anything sweet like that... and in fact, my mother (who had mental health realities that stop her from being very sensitive to me about much of anything) will not stop talking to me about the upcoming birth of my second nephew.

My brother and wife and the soon-to-be-2 kids are moving much further away -- they now live 3 hours from me -- but haven't even told me yet. i have heard about it from my parents. So that's the kind of non-closeness we have.

Also, when i was telling him and his wife about my partner and my decision to begin insemination, with my parter as the birth parent, (as we sat there eating breakfast with his infant), he said "i dont understand why you dont just adopt, i mean it wont' really be your kid" or something lovely like that. Of course, adoption is a fine option -- and one we might go ahead and do, but how insensitive is that!

My dad, who lives across the country, is the much more sensitive one, but even he has not really reached out to say "hey maybe this is hard for you." to him, as far as i can tell, me and my brother are both in the realm of child-making, it's not like it's different, etc...

my sister-in-law is due 3 days after my 40th birthday. She is 29 and got preganant on the first try the first time, and for all i know just as quickly the second time (my 1st nephew is only 19 months old now).

so... nothing too constructive to say... but hell yeah it bugs me and im glad you gave me the chance to vent!!!!

[JenInMpls]

Originally Posted by snoopy13

...he said "i don't understand why you don't just adopt, i mean it won't really be your kid"

how amazingly, incredibly insensitive. I am sorry he said that to you. So sorry!! Oh, that makes me want to say rude things to him!!!

btw, uninformed bro: that's what second parent adoption's for...

in personal news, feeling queasy again today, could still be my cold with its constant hacking and expectoration (which all ends up in my stomach), but I was to the dr today who confirmed that it is indeed just a cold and prescribed me some robitussin with codeine so that I can actually sleep more than 4 hours (I hack for about 3-4 hours and finally fall asleep when I get exhausted enough that I pass out)... and I found out that robitussin with codeine is OK for pregnant moms. And I also found out that one of the nurses at our clinic is a lesbian

[frog]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

btw, uninformed bro: that's what second parent adoption's for...

Well, and even more than that, there are LOTS of ways to be a parent to a child, and many of them have nothing to do with paperwork.

If we have tadpoles, there will be no second-parent adoption for us. We'll still both be moms.

[Hulahoop]

wow...i'm definitely feeling lucky to have my mom and sister being so supportive of our ttc journey. it's tough when family doesn't get it.

i'm 90% positive this cycle didn't work, but stubbornly insisting on waiting to be late before i test. in the meantime, still charting on fertility friend, and i have a question....i didn't temp today, but did enter other symptoms, mucous consistency, etc., and just that info rearranged my chart and took away the ovulation crosshairs. Has that happened to any of you? As far as I know, i've always ovulated (regular cycle, detected surge, all checkups good), and i even got an HCG shot this cycle!