December Bi-parents Thread - Page 5

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

meanwhile... I just got a phone call from a woman I've been crushing on, and she asked me out for coffee!


Probably noting will come of it, but I feel like a giggly teenager.

yay!! good luck!

[DaughterOfKali]

Hi everyone. Yesterday was the birthday of the one and only girlfriend/partner that I've ever had. We haven't seen each other in many years (due to each of us moving far away).
Every autumn I think about her. I remember how alive I felt when I was with her. It was a love like no other.

I think a part of me still pines for her.

[Pynki]

Originally Posted by Lissacamille

...to hang out with online. I went to craigslist to their bisexuality forum and was immediately attacked, I still don't know why? Some people there are vicious.
Anybody out there to actually dialogue with?
I am not trying to live a lie, but my children don't know I am bisexual because I just feel it is better that way right now. I am married with a very understanding husband, but I just ended a ten-year relationship with another woman and am feeling sort of bereft, although we are still good friends.
Just would like to hang out with other gay/bisexual people without having to defend the fact that I am MARRIED and happily so. Does that make me weird or something? I am not hiding some secret life from my husband.

I'm married and bi. Bi with a guy. A lot of bisexual people are.

Originally Posted by happyhippiemama

Not much time to chat but wanted to put myself back into this thread so you all don't forget that I'M NOT STRAIGHT DAMMIT!!

(can you tell I have a vent from IRL ready to tell you next time I check in? )

I am so waiting to here what this is... Because... I'm not straight either DAMMIT!

Now. I don't have a girl friend because my husband is much the same. Well, I actually WOULDN'T mind a poly/triad relationship. I don't mind sharing, but what I do mind is the viewing of my sexuality as a specator sport.

It is not.

[Medusa]

I'm curious about something...
I've noticed a lot of people on this thread are Poly (or PolyHopeful )

Do you all feel like there is some connection between being Bi/ being Poly?

I've been in a Poly relationship before and discovered it wasn't really what I was looking for, but it left me wondering if being Bi lends it's self more to poly-ness than other orientations.

Does being being able to love more than one gender make us more inclinded to being able to love more than one person?

[DaughterOfKali]

I'm not poly. I want the person all to myself. heh. I dated someone who is poly but I couldn't handle it. I told him I need to be the only one he's dating.

[Medusa]

Yeah, I'm the same way DOK. I'm just monogamous in nature.

[heket]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I'm curious about something...
I've noticed a lot of people on this thread are Poly (or PolyHopeful )

Do you all feel like there is some connection between being Bi/ being Poly?

I've been in a Poly relationship before and discovered it wasn't really what I was looking for, but it left me wondering if being Bi lends it's self more to poly-ness than other orientations.

Does being being able to love more than one gender make us more inclinded to being able to love more than one person?

Hmm, this something I've noticed as well. My idea is that bi is an opening of a door. For some, they are fine in a monogamous relationship with either sex. For others, it's just the beginning of their journey. So I'd say that being bi can lend it's to poly relationships a bit easier then a monogamous relationship.

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

I'm not poly. I want the person all to myself. heh. I dated someone who is poly but I couldn't handle it. I told him I need to be the only one he's dating.

I'm the same way with dh. He's mine only, no sharing. Having a gf is a new thing for me since I never had one before marriage. My view is skewed because we're a long distance couple with husbands and families of our own. Dh is fine with me having a gf that I refuse to share and understands my insecurities as to preferring him to remain monogamous with me. (He says he prefers it.) It's not fair for him, but it is what it is. We've had many long talks about it. I wouldn't actively participate in another relationship without his knowledge and acceptance.

[Indigo73]

I consider my bi-ness and my poly-ness as two distinct and separate things.

I am just not wired for jealousy. I don't mind sharing. I am rather morally flexible in a sense. I am confident in myself and confident in my realtionship with my mate.

On the other hand, I enjoy people fully. Gender has little or no interest to me, it's all about personality and the mind. Which is why I consider myself sapiosexual over bisexual.

[Pynki]

Originally Posted by Indigo73

I consider my bi-ness and my poly-ness as two distinct and separate things.

I am just not wired for jealousy. I don't mind sharing. I am rather morally flexible in a sense. I am confident in myself and confident in my realtionship with my mate.

On the other hand, I enjoy people fully. Gender has little or no interest to me, it's all about personality and the mind. Which is why I consider myself sapiosexual over bisexual.

This is me as well. I'm just not a jealous person. I hate cheating because really, there's no reason for it inside of a relationship with me. Talk about it. Give your reasons. I'm likely to say, "Whatever".

[dealic]

I think my interest in being poly is a factor of my being bi. I am mostly attracted to women, but I met the man of my life before I had an opportunity to have a girlfriend. Knowing the door isn't totally closed (although it is mostly closed) makes it easier to deal with my "loss". I mourned that loss of a chance, but at the same time, I would not sacrifice the wonder that is Shawn, so I was kinda stuck. Talking to him about the possibility of a girlfriend made it easier. Even if I (we) never have one, the fact that he is ok with it should the opportunity arise (again) makes me feel complete. I am not forced to choose to give that side of me up.

Once I began to discuss it, some aspects of it appeal to me for other reasons. Others completely are not me, and are contrary to what I want ina relationship. It became a seperate issue. But I did start to look into it as a direct result of my sexual orientation, and mainly, its contrast to my relationship.

[wonderwahine]

to me, being poly is not part of being bi. I was bi before marriage, and being poly only came after we got married, and our relationship evolved into something different than monogomy. before that, i was very monogomous.

[majikfaerie]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

Hi everyone. Yesterday was the birthday of the one and only girlfriend/partner that I've ever had. We haven't seen each other in many years (due to each of us moving far away).
Every autumn I think about her. I remember how alive I felt when I was with her. It was a love like no other.

I think a part of me still pines for her.

A part of me still pines for my ex-wife. I understand how you feel.

Originally Posted by Medusa

I'm curious about something...
I've noticed a lot of people on this thread are Poly (or PolyHopeful )

Do you all feel like there is some connection between being Bi/ being Poly?

I've been in a Poly relationship before and discovered it wasn't really what I was looking for, but it left me wondering if being Bi lends it's self more to poly-ness than other orientations.

Does being being able to love more than one gender make us more inclinded to being able to love more than one person?

I dont know. I still think both are very individual things, and it depends on the person. But maybe, in general, being bi does allow for an easier opening to become poly.

[bjorker]

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

I dont know. I still think both are very individual things, and it depends on the person. But maybe, in general, being bi does allow for an easier opening to become poly.

:

[bjorker]

Does anyone have, or have read any part of this book? I looked it over at the bookstore this past evening. It definitely has some helpful stuff in it, but seemed to be more for lesbians who are married to men, and realised they were lesbian after getting married. That part being not particularly useful to me, since I've known I was somewhere in between since I was a teen. I'm just curious as to any thoughts about it.

I did pick up this book, which I have checked out from the library before (but didn't get that far into it) . It's awfully scholarly, and will probably put my head into a spin, but I do find it interesting. I don't so much appreciate the cheating standpoint, but I am interested to see their findings in animals (and how they relate that to humans).

[Sisyphus]

I'm going to jump in and introduce myself

I'm Lo, married to a man for almost 8 years, mom to two ds's 7 and 4 and I've recently accepted the fact that I'm bi (anyone who knows me whom I've told has given me the "DUH" talk). I met a woman at my church who rocks my socks and WOW. Just WOW.

I never in a million years thought my dh would go for it, but after some major talking, he has agreed to my having a gf!! So, now, I don't have to even consider "cheating" (although, monogamy has always seemed unnatural to me). I'm walking on air!

As far as books go, I want to read the book "Living Two Lives" because I have only come to this understanding *after* having gotten married (twice!)... my gf is in a poly relationship (married to her dw for 14 years) and she recommends the book "The Ethical Slut" (terrible title, don't you think?) for reading about poly relationships. I haven't read it yet, but I plan to do so soon!

I am excited and happy and wide-eyed all at the same time. This has been a long, tiring journey just to get to this point of acceptance. I'm glad to have found you alll here!

[majikfaerie]

Those both look like interesting books, B.
can I borrow them when you're done?

sisyphus.
welcome to the thread.

I meanwhile, had a date today with a bi chick I met at a party a little whiles ago. *developing serious crush* but I think she's just into friendship. probably due to the fact that I have a husband and daughter : but she did invite me back to her place, and I got to show off how fast I drive.

I mean that literally. in a car. so keep your minds out of the gutter. a mintue after we got to her place, DD called, so I decided to go home, and invited the chick to come back with me for an swim in our pool (it was a hot day). So she came up to our place, which is about 20 miles up a steep winding road. Most people would take 45 mins to an hour. I do it in 25. / :

yep. back in the day, I used to be a teenage grease monkey. Tuning cars, driving fast, spanner in the back pocket of my greasy overalls, cute girlfriend to make all the other guys in the shop jealous...
aaaah, youth

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by bjorker

Does anyone have, or have read any part of this book? I looked it over at the bookstore this past evening. It definitely has some helpful stuff in it, but seemed to be more for lesbians who are married to men, and realised they were lesbian after getting married. That part being not particularly useful to me, since I've known I was somewhere in between since I was a teen. I'm just curious as to any thoughts about it.

I did pick up this book, which I have checked out from the library before (but didn't get that far into it) . It's awfully scholarly, and will probably put my head into a spin, but I do find it interesting. I don't so much appreciate the cheating standpoint, but I am interested to see their findings in animals (and how they relate that to humans).

the first one looks interesting

the second, i checked out a similar one not to long ago, never got to read it. It had hollywood stars on the front and it related to humans.

[wonderwahine]

majik, that sucks about the freindship only though.

[bjorker]

Originally Posted by Sisyphus

As far as books go, I want to read the book "Living Two Lives" because I have only come to this understanding *after* having gotten married (twice!)... my gf is in a poly relationship (married to her dw for 14 years) and she recommends the book "The Ethical Slut" (terrible title, don't you think?) for reading about poly relationships. I haven't read it yet, but I plan to do so soon!

Hi! Welcome!
The Ethical Slut is definitely the most widely read poly book. I haven't read the whole thing, but pick it up every so often and read selections from it.

Originally Posted by majikfaerie

Those both look like interesting books, B.
can I borrow them when you're done?

Sure, come on over, you're more than welcome to go through all my books. I have all kinds of good ones.
(I didn't buy that first book I linked, though, but maybe I will in the future)

Originally Posted by wonderwahine

the first one looks interesting

the second, i checked out a similar one not to long ago, never got to read it. It had hollywood stars on the front and it related to humans.

Hmm, I will have to look around for that, it doesn't ring a bell. Not so interested Hollywood stars, so hopefully it isn't too related to that. But the topic I definitely am.

Edit: Oh wait, it might be the same book with a different cover. Is this it? http://search.barnesandnoble.com/boo...6740049&itm=26

[wonderwahine]

Originally Posted by bjorker

Edit: Oh wait, it might be the same book with a different cover. Is this it? http://search.barnesandnoble.com/boo...6740049&itm=26

yeah! thats it