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Originally Posted by Avani
 Well i ran into him this morning and set up a "playdate" with him,his son and me and my 2 youngest kiddo's. He asked for my number and we are getting together on Wed.We shall see...
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Originally Posted by Zeta
Okay I know this is totally ridiculous, this being a *dating* thread, but I am feeling disappointed that the guy from pof that I liked by email hasn't emailed me in two days. I think this is an indication that I may not be ready yet. I mean, really. I keep checking email. I know that is totally lame and pathetic. Sigh.
Where's the thread for Wishing I Were Dating But I Am Instead Home With My Kids Avoiding Housework?  |
: I've been checking obsessively today, I don't take it as a sign of not being ready, I see it as a sign that I'm way past ready. 
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Originally Posted by mz_libbie22
I hate it when guys take forever to write back, but they do usually come around, after you've given up on the possibility of ever hearing from them again.
: I've been checking obsessively today, I don't take it as a sign of not being ready, I see it as a sign that I'm way past ready. |
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Originally Posted by Zeta
Thanks for the peptalk!
Well I can report that the joke was on me. My email had bounced, as I found out this morning. No doubt he thought I was blowing HIM off. So we'll see what develops. What makes me think I'm not ready is how easily I let a man rent space in my head for free. That's not a good pattern for me, and I also tend to fall for guys who are not available. |
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Originally Posted by BelovedK
OMG. The most attractive and compelling man just contacted me through match.com...I wrote him back, he is a single dad who seems really attached to his DD. I really hope I get to meet him
I am meeting another compelling man this Wed for coffee. hmmmm |
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Originally Posted by Medusa
This is something I've had to work through too. What I came to realize was that the guy as an individual wasn't as important as the place he held in my head as "other". So any individual was really acting as a place holder for the idea of "male" or the animus of Jungian theory.
When I got to a place where I was able to recognize the qualities of the Animus as existing within and was able to embrace that rather than looking for it in the outer world I was able to look at men on a more balanced level. I spent A LOT of time examining who I am verses what I was seeking and it seems that the more I am able to find within myself the more I am able to allow others to be in my life without taking up so much space or energy in my mind. ...um, hopefully that didn't come across as a bunch of nonsensical psychobabble. |
| As for what I plan to do before dating, is like others have said, seriously healing the stuff from way back that led me to make the choice I did. Otherwise I will make another unhealthy choice, no matter how great and different the guy seems at first. I think that we attract and are attracted to people of the same emotional/spiritual healthiness. There's a fit at that unconscious level. So I feel extremely motivated to become healthier myself so I can fit with someone healthy. I have heard the expression, "Become what you want to attract." If I want someone who takes care of himself in postive ways, I need to do that for myself. If I want someone with a healthy and whole sense of self, not looking for other people or addictions to make him feel worthy and good, I need to do that for myself. Maybe a correlary to that is, "Be the partner to yourself that you want to find." If I want my partner to make me feel loved and special, I need to give that gift to myself. If I want my partner to make life adventurous and fun, I need to go out and make my life adventurous and fun. I could shift parts of the OP's plan to fit into that vision, as well. If I want to have a life with a partner that includes basic tidiness and sit-down meals, then I need to institute those things for myself. But not as some form of auditioning for the part of girlfriend. That would feed into my old stuff of wanting to measure up, be good enough, in someone else's eyes. That has brought me the wrong kind of relationships. When I worry about starting another relationship with a man who appears perfect but turns out to have all kinds of unhealthy problems (lying, cheating, lots of ick), I remind myself that I do have some control over the kind of person I attract and am attracted to, by healing myself, learning to love myself, and bringing into my life the qualities that I imagine a partner bringing. |
| Maybe a correlary to that is, "Be the partner to yourself that you want to find." If I want my partner to make me feel loved and special, I need to give that gift to myself. If I want my partner to make life adventurous and fun, I need to go out and make my life adventurous and fun. I could shift parts of the OP's plan to fit into that vision, as well. If I want to have a life with a partner that includes basic tidiness and sit-down meals, then I need to institute those things for myself. But not as some form of auditioning for the part of girlfriend. That would feed into my old stuff of wanting to measure up, be good enough, in someone else's eyes. That has brought me the wrong kind of relationships. When I worry about starting another relationship with a man who appears perfect but turns out to have all kinds of unhealthy problems (lying, cheating, lots of ick), I remind myself that I do have some control over the kind of person I attract and am attracted to, by healing myself, learning to love myself, and bringing into my life the qualities that I imagine a partner bringing. |
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Originally Posted by incorrigible
lol. a woo is a fliort message. It means he likes you. Its to encourage people that are a little shy about starting conversations to show interest. You know how your first message to someone always sounds uber lame. A lot of people just delete them and give up. Woo is like making eyes at you from across the room. =)
You can either woo him back or send him a message. or totally ignore it if you're not interested. lol I usually go straight for messages at any point. I'm blunt and to the point like that.  : |
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) for several weeks now, and I really like him. Nothing is official yet, but we've agreed that we each like each other more than we expected to, and have decided to just let this run its course, whatever that may be. After an 11 year relationship with the ex, during which I was often starved for romance and intimacy, this guy is a welcome gift from the universe, for however long he's mine to enjoy.
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Originally Posted by kerplunk
For those mamas on okcupid - what the heck is a "woo" and what am I supposed to do when I get one? |
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