DECEMBER dating thread!!! - Page 5

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

Just found out JD is being deployed to Afghanistan on January 18th. This sucks so bad, because I'm reeeeeaaallly liking him, and we've gotten pretty close over the past few weeks.

[Zeta]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

Just found out JD is being deployed to Afghanistan on January 18th. This sucks so bad, because I'm reeeeeaaallly liking him, and we've gotten pretty close over the past few weeks.

so sorry to hear that! Not only will you miss him, but you may feel anxious for him, too. Hang in there. How long will he be gone?

[Zeta]

email flirtations continue.

I am feeling frustrated, though, because i always have my kids and my kids are LIVELY. i have one friend who babysits for free, but infrequently. All my others charge $10, which is reasonable, it's just that it adds up and I really have no $ for it. My lovely nature walk the other day cost me $40 to ditch the littler ones. But if I hadn't we could barely have talked at all. Even if I have a friend I want to catch up with, I always say we should do it sans kids becuase with the kids around it so piecemeal.

just complaining. thought you guys would understand.

he has every other weekend kid-free, and I am just wishing I could be so free to see him. even just one fully off night a week would be luxury!!!

Fortunately he is very kid-friendly, so we are planning outtings with both our sets, and hopefully will get just enough alone time on top of it.

[Sharondio]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

Just found out JD is being deployed to Afghanistan on January 18th. This sucks so bad, because I'm reeeeeaaallly liking him, and we've gotten pretty close over the past few weeks.

I'm so sorry.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Thanks for the support everyone.

Originally Posted by Zeta

How long will he be gone?

He'll be gone for 11mos.

And Zeta, I totally get you about the childcare. Not only the price, but I feel guilty, like I should be hanging out with DS instead.

On that note, DS met JD earlier this week. Talk about hitting it off, man! They had a blast! We went out to dinner, then to the grocery store, where JD told ds (with my permission) to pick out whatever supplies he needed to make ice cream sundaes. Then we watched a movie and they played video games while I fell asleep on the couch (I work nights). It was so cute.

[ian'smommaya]

sorry cookie. thats really tough. just whebn you find a guy who is worth it...

[Zeta]

I'm really sorry, too, Cookie. This is a tough break. I am sad for you.




Things continue to simmer nicely on the IM front with my main crush. He's going with me and my kids to my favorite nature spot this weekend. I told him he has to carry my littlest so we can cover more territory and he says he would love to, misses that age. I'm trying SOOO Hard to take this slow. But my mind can so easily project to a future. He'd make a great step dad. The truth is, though, that we are still at the beginning of getting to know each other. I have to somehow get grounded in the present, remember that there's still so much we don't know about each other, and that relationships are tough.

I also struggle to not obsess about him. My mind just wants to focus on him at all times. This is not a good sign for me. It's not healthy, and is not a healthy element to begin a relationship with.

Anyway.... so far.

[LLobsterTV]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

Just found out JD is being deployed to Afghanistan on January 18th. This sucks so bad, because I'm reeeeeaaallly liking him, and we've gotten pretty close over the past few weeks.

that's awful! i'm so, so sorry.

[BelovedK]

I just had a nice dinner date with one of the match.com guys...It is weird, we probably crossed paths when we were younger, we travelled in the same circles and are the same age.

I've got to wait and see if he has his life all together, I'm reserving giving my heart until I 'screen' him. He is a musician and very proficient in promotion and marketing. He offered me many ideas on how to promote myself, which I am going to do. We had a nice time, very nice. He didn't try to grope me and was very respectful.

It's funny, there is still this local guy J who seems great, it's just that we have had a hard time synching our times to get together. Then there is N, who is Hott, and spiritually similar to myself...He lives an hour away though, but it is in the mountains and I would LOVE to visit him. We exchange long philosophical emails, but there are a few days between them.

I have NEVER maintained anything like this before, I feel like I am interviewing

Is anyone psychic? I want to know where to put my energy.

[fek&fuzz]

Originally Posted by BelovedK

I just had a nice dinner date with one of the match.com guys...It is weird, we probably crossed paths when we were younger, we travelled in the same circles and are the same age.

I've got to wait and see if he has his life all together, I'm reserving giving my heart until I 'screen' him. He is a musician and very proficient in promotion and marketing. He offered me many ideas on how to promote myself, which I am going to do. We had a nice time, very nice. He didn't try to grope me and was very respectful.

It's funny, there is still this local guy J who seems great, it's just that we have had a hard time synching our times to get together. Then there is N, who is Hott, and spiritually similar to myself...He lives an hour away though, but it is in the mountains and I would LOVE to visit him. We exchange long philosophical emails, but there are a few days between them.

I have NEVER maintained anything like this before, I feel like I am interviewing

Is anyone psychic? I want to know where to put my energy.

If you go to the Holiday Helper Forum you can get a psychic reading for $10.00!

[Zeta]

Originally Posted by BelovedK

I just had a nice dinner date with one of the match.com guys...It is weird, we probably crossed paths when we were younger, we travelled in the same circles and are the same age.

I've got to wait and see if he has his life all together, I'm reserving giving my heart until I 'screen' him. He is a musician and very proficient in promotion and marketing. He offered me many ideas on how to promote myself, which I am going to do. We had a nice time, very nice. He didn't try to grope me and was very respectful.

It's funny, there is still this local guy J who seems great, it's just that we have had a hard time synching our times to get together. Then there is N, who is Hott, and spiritually similar to myself...He lives an hour away though, but it is in the mountains and I would LOVE to visit him. We exchange long philosophical emails, but there are a few days between them.

I have NEVER maintained anything like this before, I feel like I am interviewing

Is anyone psychic? I want to know where to put my energy.

I am just so excited for you, so many options! Enjoy the explorations. If nothing else, this should help you be discerning and take it slow, what with all the lines of waiting suitors!

[Zeta]

My main crush and I are now officially talking each day and saying mushy things like we like to hear each other's voice, etc. We have a hot date Saturday night, and I think I mentioned that Sunday he's going to meet my whole family and many of my friends at a special event.

I really wanted my next relationship to start slow. My mind is trying to apply the brakes, but my heart is gunning the engine. It scares me because it was so fast like that with my ex, falling head over heals in the first week, and I just reallly really don't want to remarry my ex.

Question: I am very very tight with $ because I am still digging into savings each month, finances are so precarious. I don't go out to eat or anything nonessential. I really shouldn't even be spending $ on babysitting for dating, given that it would come out of (dwindling) savings. So he wants to out to eat, and he says the $ is a non-issue to him, he just wants to treat me and it's no big deal, but also he's fine with doing something else instead. I don't know how to think about this. I do not want to start on an uneven kiel with a man, would like to pay my way. i was so dependent on stbx, in every way, i feel like my independence and stuff is really key to my healthy life. but then there's also the babysitting cost that adds up so quickly, and that really is just my responsibility since it's my kids.

input?

[singin'intherain]

Zeta,
I would let him treat you to dinner. You deserve it! But I would also put on the brakes a little and come up with more "dates" that you can afford. If this guy is going to be a part of your life, you don't want that feeling of, this can't last much longer............ He sounds like a great guy! Why can't you just fall in love all you want, but make sure you wait on making commitment type decisions until you get to where you think that wart he has really is pretty ugly (or whatever, kwim?).

[Zeta]

Originally Posted by singin'intherain

Zeta,
I would let him treat you to dinner. You deserve it! But I would also put on the brakes a little and come up with more "dates" that you can afford. If this guy is going to be a part of your life, you don't want that feeling of, this can't last much longer............ He sounds like a great guy!

Thanks for helping me find the balance, singin'.

Originally Posted by singin'intherain

Why can't you just fall in love all you want, but make sure you wait on making commitment type decisions until you get to where you think that wart he has really is pretty ugly (or whatever, kwim?).

Thanks for this. I think i've just had so much fear come up, it's been a bit over the top and making it impossible for me to enjoy the thrills of it. Someone else was saying to me today that it's okay to feel like i'm falling in love, just put off any commitment-type decisions until significant time has passed (which is no problem). i guess the very prospect of falling in love is just so scary for me after my 17 year relationship went so horribly horribly wrong.

Thanks for holding my hand and helping me walk through that fear.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Originally Posted by BelovedK

I've got to wait and see if he has his life all together, I'm reserving giving my heart until I 'screen' him. He is a musician and very proficient in promotion and marketing. He offered me many ideas on how to promote myself, which I am going to do. We had a nice time, very nice. He didn't try to grope me and was very respectful.

So sad you have to include that, yk?

But it sounds like you had a great time. I have no advice as to where to focus your energy, but at this stage, there's nothing wrong with spreading it around a bit.

[LankyLizards]

Everyone I meet and am interested in isn't "ready" for a relationship. What the....They are all hung up on some ex-girlfriend or wallowing in self-pity. Where can I meet an actual man??? I thought I found someone great. DD *loved* him and he was teaching her all of these songs and it was a great week with him....then he realized he isn't anywhere near being over his ex - who just got married. It's crazy because all of a sudden I just feel so ready to date, and can't find anyone worthy of my time.....frustrating!!

[mamagoose]

ok, how do I figure out when/if to introduce my new "friend" to ds? I've been dating "J" since late Oct, we are really clicking, enjoy each other so much, and have each confessed to liking the other more than we'd thought we would. We have agreed that while neither of us was initially looking for something serious, we really like each other, and we will allow this to run its course, whatever that may be. I feel understood, connected, appreciated, desired, LIKED, by this man. I'm inspired by him, I admire him, I really like him.

BUT, one huge piece of knowing whether or not this is something I should pursue seriously is how he will relate/interact with ds. I am NOT looking for someone to be a dad to ds, or a co-parent to me. DS's dad is that and we're fine in that regard. Obviously though, I want to be with someone who likes ds and is good with him. I couldn't be with someone who was horrible with my child.

When do I take steps to find out? I'm equally terrified that J will NOT be good with ds, in which case this lovely thing that has started really will just have to end. AND that he'll be GREAT with DS, in which case I may be in serious danger of actually falling in love with him.

I am aware of other reasons to postpone their meeting -- I don't want ds to get attached so someone who won't be around, but honestly, I can't know if someone will be around awhile until I know how they are with ds.

J is willing to meet ds, but respectful of my wishes and won't push for that until I'm ready. STBX knows about J and is supportive/happy for me.

Thoughts??

[PixieAlly]

Well I'm finding the men who are interested in me annoying and the ones who are not really interested in me attractive LOL This probably says a lot but I'm too tired to figure it out now.

Ally

[incorrigible]

.

[Zeta]

Girls I am going on my first date in 17 years tonight!





I'm hoping to get kissed.




I have dressed in such a way as to help it occur to him.



My housemate helped me dress up, it was so much fun. She said, Well, whatever happens with your date, *we* had fun! And it's true! Girlfriends rock. I feel so lucky that she is living with me.


I promise to dish.