September 2007 mammas--December thread - Page 3

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by leanbh

i'm just having one of those days i guess. ro was up every hour last night, and i have no idea why. but that just didn't make this morning look very good to me.

i feel really lonely here. i'm the only sahm that i know, and i just can't seem to find anyone who even wants to go to lunch with me. ro's a really easy going baby, and she's easy to tote around.

dh is helpful, but he doesn't get it. he doesn't understand that the fact that he didn't get breakfast cereal for me when he went shopping even though it was on the list made my breakfast non-existent (as cereal is the only thing i have time to eat in the morning with her). so i went to get an apple... nope none of those either. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

today is just not going right. the kitchen is horrible. i just burned some cookies. and my child won't sleep and won't nurse. not to mention, i'm so lonely i could sob at any moment.

this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...

I'm sorry you're not having a good day, men can be pretty dense somethimes and it doesn't always make our lives easy. A lot of my friends have older children as well so its not the same with a little baby, many of them work also so its hard to find time to do things together. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

[~Katie~]

Speaking of friends, my best friend and I had a falling out the other day. We've been best friends since fourth grade, and I honestly am not sure why things are the way they are now but its really getting to me. It seemed like every time I talked about Liam, or something with my MIL, she was always making snarky comments to me. I overlooked them and just figured she was having a bad day. Well the other day I asked her about it and wanted to talk about it to see if we could work it out, she just got defensive and hasn't talked to me since.

I have a feeling I know why, which makes me feel like crap. In the past she's made negative comments about other friends who had children or were married, I don't think its jealousy or anything, I just think she feels like she can't relate to me now. She's been with the same guy for 7 years who refuses to commit to her or talk about marriage or children, and that really bothers her, so I think me talking about things with my life upset her. I'm not really sure what to do because these things are central to my life now, and I thought we were close enough to be able to talk about anything regardless of how well we could relate to it or not.

[sunshine's mama]

Ack! This moved fast!!!

I need to go read and try and catch up but just wanted to hop on and say hello.....

[sanguine_speed]

Hi Everyone. For some reason, I feel a little sad about this group. It had been sort of in the back of my mind but really hit me as I opened this thread tonight.
Oscar was born in July, and when all of you were having your babies, we were dealing with that hospital episode, and I missed all your births :. I guess I'm feeling sort of "left out" even though I know I am as welcomed as ever.
You were all so important to me during my pregnancy and I am sad that I missed your births in my preemie stupor. I do drop by the September 2007 thread every so often, but boy it moves fast.

I guess this boils down to HI EVERYONE! I've missed you!

[*jeanine*]

leanbh - does your library have programs for infants? when i lived in a city our library had an "infant/todder lap-sit". are there any AP playgroups near you? they had one of those in the city, too, although i never went. i kknow how important is was for me to get out of the house, so i hope you are able to find something to do that's a little more fun than getting an iud

meeting moms is worse than dating, i think.

[lactivist]

Sanguine I always like hearing from you. I am sorry you feel left out. I don't think you neglected any of us you were just doing your mama thing as best you could. Stop by anytime and let us know how that little man is doing. Has the crying stopped? Did you see his surgeon? Any updates?
Wendi

[*jeanine*]

sanguine - i was just thinking of you today. how is oscar doing? and you?

ok, i must go shower, it's been a while :

[lactivist]

Katie I lost friends when I had my first baby too. It sucks. You will make new friends that can relate with you but that doesn't help the pain of losing a dear friend. I lost my best friend when she started formula feeding. I never said a contrary word but I think she felt secretly judged by me.
I hope you find new friends quickly.
Wendi

[SweetTexasgal]

I am so extremely bummed....I just typed out a post and my computer ate it....or my fingers hit the wrong key.....

Katie-thank you, thank you, thank you for posting your feelings about motherhood at this moment. I could have typed your post. I am feeling exactly the same way and was feeling guilty for feeling such. I too read up on high need babies because I swear someone took away my sweet babe and replaced her with an evil task-master. I can only put Lucy down for about 5 minutes....just enough time to run to the bathroom...ya know. I finally got her to chill out in the sling today for about 2 hours and she fell asleep for a bit....thank the Lord. Her naps have become almost non-existent...she used to sleep so well. It seems to be creeping into night sleeping as well...ughhh. Well she is stirring right now....so I am off.

More later mommas

[clevernamehere]

Question- How do you find those playgroups/mommy-and-me groups?

I don't have a clue where to start looking, but would LOVE to get out of the house with LO, especially if we're going to hang out with other moms!

[lactivist]

Sunshinemama was it you that was looking for a tummy tub? There is one on ebay right now. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...E:B:SS:US:1123 Just thought I would mention it.
Wendi

[greenmagick]

Originally Posted by clevernamehere

Question- How do you find those playgroups/mommy-and-me groups?

I don't have a clue where to start looking, but would LOVE to get out of the house with LO, especially if we're going to hang out with other moms!

Check out the finding your tribe section here on mdc. Also, you can look on your local API (attachment parenting international) chapter and/or la leche league.

[*jeanine*]

Originally Posted by clevernamehere

Question- How do you find those playgroups/mommy-and-me groups?

I don't have a clue where to start looking, but would LOVE to get out of the house with LO, especially if we're going to hang out with other moms!

Also call your library and see if they have any programs for infants. When ds was a babe we went to "infant/toddler lap-sit".
The playgroup I joined when ds was a babe had a flier posted at the library. So look for fliers anywhere moms might post them. Oh, in our (new) town there is a playgroup which I *think* is hosted by a crisis intervention center. If you have any center like that in your area you could call them and see if they know of anything.

[~Katie~]

I bought something today that I said I would never use....a swing. After last night and this morning, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was up again at 5am with him, and then tried to sleep for an extra hour this morning but that didn't happen because he just screamed and screamed while Andrew had him. I was convinced that I was going to be the perfect AP parent who didn't use any kind of mechanical devices to get their baby to nap, but my body can only take so much of rocking and bouncing and swinging and baby-wearing. My back is shot, my scoliosis is acting up from constantly wearing him and rocking him to keep him calm and happy, I just couldn't go through another day of this. So yes, I might take the worst mother of the year award, but this is the longest nap he's taken since he was born.

[*jeanine*]

using a swing so your babe gets a good nap and so you either get stuff done or get to rest yourself does NOT make you a candidate for "worst mother of the year." sorry. you're going to have to try *a lot* harder if you want that award (your competition's britney spears, after all)

[beemama]

We ordered a baby hammock & I am so excited about it! She loves to swing & rock so I figured it would be really nice to have a place to do those things w/out wrecking my back. I didn't put my oldest down, and didn't want her to self soothe with her thumb or pacifier, and, in general, I reallly put too much pressure on myself and got SO BURNT OUT. This time, I feel okay w/all of the above... if/when she is willing! She doesn't like the pacifier, but after reading of you guys letting babes suck on your fingers I tried it & she loved it... she likes to chew and suck & it feels so neat. I'm trying to get her to find her thumb, too. So far, no luck... but the finger thing is still so new to her.

For the first time moms, it really really does get better... I know my 2nd got a much better mama than my first because I had to learn so much. Now I need help in learning to balance everyone's needs, including my own. :

meeting moms is worse than dating, i think.

Yes, it is! When I had dd here 4 years ago, I only knew 1 other mom and she was 40 miles away & so harshly critical of everything. I wasn't used to having other girl friends, either.. I've always had male friends. I was so thankful when I found MDC at 7 mos. This time around I am feeling SO BLESSED to have women, both here & IRL, to talk to! I've made a couple of friends and I just went to the 4th monthly meeting of LLL in the area this morning. (I am feeling socially awkward around other women now, but I'll take it... I NEED other women!)


jeaninevp~ I think you asked about the sun in our solstice celebration... last year we made suns to hang on the door (of our airstream, we were on our way to visit family) at sunset. I also made a sun out of wire, paired it with a goddess figurine I had made & placed it in the center of all of dd's toys, with all of them facing the "mother" giving birth to the "son"-I got that idea from Celebrating the Great Mother . All day we kept track of the sun in the sky (it was easy to do on the drive) & ate citrus.

I guess what I'm saying is, we just take the time to notice, talk about & honor the sun!

lactivist~ I loved the idea of the Holly King! We haven't done Santa w/dd because I had major issues w/being lied to about it( maybe I was a little too analytical as a child) and I also hated how commercialized he is. This year I want to get something together for St. Nicholas Day on the 6th....

Gotta run!
See you all in about 5 pages!!

[~Katie~]

Okay so maybe you got me there, definitely not driving around with my kid on my lap or anything. I just set expectations for myself and I think I was unrealistic about a lot of things, I'm pretty hard on myself in all areas of my life but having a baby is teaching me to slow down and re-evaluate things. He woke up around 2:30 and was in such a great mood, even played with Andrew and I on the floor for a while. That really shows what a difference a nap can make.

Beemama - We asked for an ambi for Christmas from my IL's, I would much rather trade the swing for the hammock. Tell me what you think of it when you get it.

I'm going to start Christmas shopping tonight, I would like to get my nieces doll slings and maybe some pillowcase dresses from hyena cart (to wear with turtlenecks and tights, SO CUTE!). Not sure about my nephews, one is extremely easy to please and the other is really difficult so we'll see. I try to get the girls similar things and the boys similar things so nobody feels jealous.

[lactivist]

Originally Posted by KatieJJ334

. That really shows what a difference a nap can make.

Beemama - We asked for an ambi for Christmas from my IL's, I would much rather trade the swing for the hammock. Tell me what you think of it when you get it.

Sleeps helps everyone. Don't feel bad for figuring out ways to meet everyone's needs. Letting baby sleep is a lot different than letting baby scream while you party or something. You are so not a bad mother. Be gentle with yourself.

I have an Amby and Dahlia loves to sleep in it but once awake it isn't so good because it doesn't move. It just swings a bit if she moves around but she can't really see in it and doesn't like to hang out there. She really enjoys being in the swing where she can watch all the action of our house. Everyone dances, talks, plays with her and she gets so much attention in the swing. I figure so long as everyone is happy then I am going to do what works. I am really glad I have both now.
Wendi

[jazzybaby9]

Originally Posted by leanbh

i'm just having one of those days i guess. ro was up every hour last night, and i have no idea why. but that just didn't make this morning look very good to me.

i feel really lonely here. i'm the only sahm that i know, and i just can't seem to find anyone who even wants to go to lunch with me. ro's a really easy going baby, and she's easy to tote around.

dh is helpful, but he doesn't get it. he doesn't understand that the fact that he didn't get breakfast cereal for me when he went shopping even though it was on the list made my breakfast non-existent (as cereal is the only thing i have time to eat in the morning with her). so i went to get an apple... nope none of those either. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

today is just not going right. the kitchen is horrible. i just burned some cookies. and my child won't sleep and won't nurse. not to mention, i'm so lonely i could sob at any moment.

this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...

But we live so close, Mama! We'll make plans soon, I just have so much going on this month, as I'm sure you do with Holidays coming up. There's also another MDC mom who just had her baby last month who I'll be meeting up with for the first time. We'll all make a day of it

[jazzybaby9]

Everything's been going ok. I usually try to keep a positive outlook, but lately things just haven't been going as good as when I was preggo.

I've missed school and have come so close to failing- I'm emotional, I feel lonely and antisocial all at the same time. I feel like I'm trying to juggle everything all by myself. DP is out of work since he is still healing from the accident and we barely have enough money to buy family portraits, not to mention all the gifts we need to get. DP is now having issues show up weeks after the accident. He's having issues with his bladder and prostate now. His neck and back are getting worse. He's out of painkillers so he moans in his sleep alot of the time. I've tried working on his neck but it's too painful for him.

Last weekend I was so excited to get our holiday photos taken as a family and everything went wrong all at once. Aiyana wouldn't look at the camera or smile (and she's usually ALWAYS making eye contact and smiling), she was fussy and tired (so was I). Then, the photographer neglected to tell me I had a strand of hair hanging in my face. None of our pictures turned out, yet it still cost over $100 for the photos (thankfully we had a coupon) and we had to pay sitting fees for pictures we didn't even want.

Today, I locked my keys in my car, along with Aiy's carseat, my school books, my massage sheets, etc. Now we have to pay a locksmith to come out and hopefully he gets here before school tonight. If I miss class, I fail. No more second chances this time. I was at school all weekend making up attendance and studying for finals. I had problems getting out the door on time so my teacher was pretty upset (obviously she doesn't have children). If I miss her class tonight I'll have to pay to take the class all over.

I've been looking forward to Christmas when I get to see my family and they get to see Aiyana for the first time, but my uncle sort of put a damper on things by calling me a high school drop-out teenaged hippy mother. Now, the only part that's true is the teen mother........but why is he making it seem like I'm such a bad person just because I requested organic toys for DD?

Anyway, now I'm rambling. I hope the locksmith arrives before I have class. I'm so nervous....