My DC is driving me freakin' nuts

[Beckula]

I know whose not winning Mother of the year this year, Me. My DS Davey is using the oppurtunity while I nurse to destroy our house. Today it was dump a whole box of cereal onthe carpet and use the coffee table undershelf to slide into the cereal from the couch day. I swear I am losing my mind. Meanwhile Bear is nursing so much he is making himself puke after each feeding. I took a shower today but you would never know as I still smell like baby puke. Is anyone else feeling like the time outs for their older children ceased to be a threat to their kids once the new baby arrived. I have no control over him anymore and he knows it. I wonder if the Santa threat will work on a 3.5 year old?

[LittleLlama]

With my 2yo, we've learned that if you follow through with a threat, that just means there's no reason to be good anymore.

[Beckula]

That is pretty much the problem. Also I can't seem to stop being grumpy. Please tell me it gets better and I won't ruin them for life because of my lack of control (i don't really mean over them, more myself). I'm honestly sick to death of yelling and its getting us nowhere. So like if I just stop yelling at him he will get self control eventually and I won't feel so badly as a Mother? Or will he never learn to stop dumping cereal on the carpet and get kicked out of college for his inapropriate cereal behaviour? I need guidence because i am weak and i sometimes I really don't know if i can learn to parent past yelling. I need to get better parenting books.

[GinaRae]

Can you give him a job while you nurse? Like tell him HOW important it is for him to hold the baby's feet for the first 5 minutes he eats and then maybe have him fold some wash cloths or diapers.

Can you read to him while you nurse? He could hold the book. What about practicing the ABCs? Letting him assemble easy snacks. A simple craft on the coffee table near you? A special movie only for nursing time (restricting other TV time so TV becomes special).

It all sounds easy for me to say, but I totally understand the being grumpy thing and that makes me a not-so-good mom either. I am on a roller coaster and when I am grumpy, I want nothing to do with them. But thankfully I am also settled sometimes. Whew.

[Curlita]

Dylan (3 and a little bit) has been out of control quite a bit, too, and I am so tired that I don't always have the energy to discipline like I should. And sometimes I'm not sure how to discipline. There are some situations when I can't really give him a time out (when we are trying to get out of the house because we are late, for example). I am short and too prone to yell, also. At the same time, I am too prone to just slumping my shoulders in defeat and giving up. I can't do a happy medium.

I do have good luck with reading books to Dylan while I nurse...

And yeah, every article of clothing I am wearing today (other than my underpants) has baby puke on it.

[kathteach]

I'm going through something similar over here. Right there with you, mama. Right there with you. :

[canadiannancy]

Me too! The people who say that going from two to three dc is easy....I think they are very very wrong! And my DC are such babies still, dd1 is 2 dd2 is 15 monthes and not walking or talking yet...it is sooo hard to keep them occupied while nursing Callie! And pumping....ouch...both older girls try to play tug or war with my horns to get the milk! Boobie nummies nilk is all the rage around here! And dd2 tries to bite my other boob if she catches it uncovered while I am nursing....she seems to want to nurse too, which is especially ironic considering she couldn't nurse when she was born!


:

[GinaRae]

OMG no! Going from 2 to 3 DC was sheer hell! So far 4 has been a cake walk. I hear every one after 3 is easy compared to 3.

Can you all start a sticker chart or magnets where they lose stickers or magnets or M&Ms when they misbehave in a place where you cannot do a time out?

My husband and I have had to get good about being creative and about the kids getting consequences even after the fact. Of course, they're older. But perhaps your sticker chart can go with you in the baby bag????

[GinaRae]

hehe - Whoops!!

Distractions lead to double postings. Could it be the 4 children?

[Curlita]

Originally Posted by GinaRae

Can you all start a sticker chart or magnets where they lose stickers or magnets or M&Ms when they misbehave in a place where you cannot do a time out?

My husband and I have had to get good about being creative and about the kids getting consequences even after the fact. Of course, they're older. But perhaps your sticker chart can go with you in the baby bag????

Dylan is 3... I have tried taking away fun activities for infractions, but he doesn't seem to feel a sense of loss over something that was not concrete to begin with. It's easier when the infraction involves a THING -- misuse of a toy, markers, etc. because then the thing gets confiscated.

He is currently in an extended time out until he decides to cooperate with me in the changing of his poopy diaper. I refuse to hold him down forcibly while he laughs and twists around and kicks me -- and while I have an infant strapped to my chest. Every few minutes I go check to see if he is ready to cooperate, reminding him that we are not going to do any of our fun activities until he has a new diaper.

Can you still sell children to the Gypsies???

[LittleLlama]

Originally Posted by Curlita

Can you still sell children to the Gypsies???

Or circus?

I'm finding that I just can't take myself seriously with one boob hanging out. You know, babe is nursing, DS is about to try something death defying and won't stop no matter how authoritative I sound so I pop the babe off and have to fly over to intervene before even pulling the shirt down. I just have a hard time with that for some reason.

[CheapPearls]

NAK, just btw.

I just went from 2 to 3 and it's not as hard as I thought it would be but MAN it's not easy. My other boys... yeah boys .... are soon to be 4 and 2 (March and Feb birthdays) and I have been yelling a lot more then I would like. :

I've also had good luck with reading during nursing. I love my boppy since it allows me to be one or both hands free so I can hold the book, point to pictures and read. I'd hate to admit it but my boys have also had a lot more tv time now that Ethan is here. I'm hoping we find a better balance with that soon.



Or we can invest in some mini straight jackets. Or duct tape.

[*Lindsey*]

We went from 2 to 4. :

I've been struggling too. My kids were acting out a lot the first few weeks after the twins were born, but thankfully they seem to have mellowed out to an extent. I'm still dealing with the normal 2 year old things, and 4 year old mouthiness and defiance. (I'm told this is b/c he's becoming more independent...)

We have started a sticker chart for each of them. They get a sticker when they share nicely (were struggling big time here), do what we ask without arguing, etc. Not sure where this falls on the whole with "experts", but it's helping!

I'm also, slowly, reading Parenting with Love and Logic.

Parenting is hard work!

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by *Lindsey*

Not sure where this falls on the whole with "experts", but it's helping!

Gentle Discipline advocates can be so scary. And I've found they suddenly disappear once your kid is older or special needs to an extreme (I am not talking ADHD but bipolar) so we've found our own path.

We wouldn't get praise from GD advocates but we have our sanity and the kids really do very well I think. We try to be gentle and communicative while still very strong, united and in charge. Always a learning curve!

[Beckula]

Can you still sell children to the Gypsies???

This is hysterical because my Mother always threatened to trade us in for dancing bears just as soon as the gypsey's came to town when we were bad. Alas they never did.

[lisalulu]

Originally Posted by Curlita

He is currently in an extended time out until he decides to cooperate with me in the changing of his poopy diaper. I refuse to hold him down forcibly while he laughs and twists around and kicks me -- and while I have an infant strapped to my chest. Every few minutes I go check to see if he is ready to cooperate, reminding him that we are not going to do any of our fun activities until he has a new diaper.

Can you still sell children to the Gypsies???

We are going through the exact same thing right now!! Actually it started before Rylan was born but it's gotten worse. I keep hoping its some crazy sign that he's getting ready to potty train-yeah right

[canadiannancy]

Potty train! Yeah right! Having three in diapers is getting old after 3 weeks! I can't wait till dd decides she has had enough of diapers...right now she just uses her potty seat as a hat!

[sandiegokristi]

No advice, but I am glad to know that I am not the only one that is having a hard time with this. I don't know why DS all of sudden now decides it is a good time to learn to get on top of the dining room table and stand up there like a rock star, all while trying to drink the lasts sips of DH coffee that he managed to dig out of our trash can! AAAHHHHH.......